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Sex Advice From Magic: The Gathering Players

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Erin, 26

erinWhat has Magic: The Gathering taught you about dating?
Be open-minded when it comes to the interests of people you’re dating. I always considered Magic way beyond the acceptable level of "nerdy" until I started dating a guy who played. Even if you don’t get hooked like I did, showing interest in something your partner loves is an excellent way to show your support of his hobbies.

If you’re playing Magic with a hot guy, and he has three life left and you have a Lightning Bolt in your hand that could finish him off, do you use it? Or do you hold back and let him win?
Take the shot! Female gamers work too hard to gain respect among the guys to lose on purpose. Beyond that, any guy worth dating will appreciate the skill it took to get to that point. And there’s nothing like a rematch to keep the flirtation going, right?

What’s the best reason to date someone who plays Magic?
Magic players know how to roll with the punches and flexibility is always important in relationships. Every game of Magic is different, even between the same two people and the same two decks, so players who win are the ones who adapt to unexpected situations.

I love getting road head but don’t currently have a car and neither does she. Any advice for getting a blowjob on another form of transportation?
The back of a bus allows for various levels of showing off, or see if you can borrow a friend’s car for an afternoon road trip (make sure you offer to fill the gas tank before dropping it off). Just steer clear of the back of your mom’s station wagon.

My boyfriend wants to get a tattoo with my name on his arm. I love him, but I think that’s a terrible idea. How do I talk him out of it without seeming like I’m arguing against the future of our relationship?
I love ink, but relationship tattoos are such a bad idea, even between the most compatible of couples. Do your best to suggest creating something memorable together that doesn’t involve permanently modifying his body. But if he insists on a tattoo, a better way to go would be finding a representation of something you both have in common.

If one movie had to be playing while you were having sex, what movie would that be?
Anything homemade.

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leif

Leaf, 30

GatheringMagic.com

What has Magic: The Gathering taught you about dating?
That I’m lucky to have a girlfriend at all, especially one that is willing to look past a stereotype.

If you’re playing Magic with a hot girl, and she has three life left and you have a Lightning Bolt in your hand that could finish her off, do you use it? Or do you hold back and let her win?
Always go for the honorable win, she will respect you for it. Any chance at romance increases exponentially when she regards you as talented and honest.

What’s the best reason to date someone who plays Magic?
It is tough to smother somebody while spending four hours a day playing cards. We also tend to be very introspective, in a good way.

I love getting road head but don’t currently have a car and neither does she. Any advice for getting a blowjob on another form of transportation?
Public buses offer loads of privacy past about 9 p.m., and the driver won’t notice if she slips out of her seat deftly enough. Just stay away from cramped airplane bathrooms. Far away.

My boyfriend wants to get a tattoo with my name on his arm. I love him, but I think that’s a terrible idea. How do I talk him out of it without seeming like I’m arguing against the future of our relationship?
If he doesn’t have any tattoos already, it will probably work to explain you just don’t like them. If your boyfriend looks like Lil’ Wayne, on the other hand, then who really cares about one more?

What do you think it means to get to third base with somebody?
I knew what it meant when I was a kid: hands in the pants. These days it could mean anything. Making a sex tape? I imagine a "home run" is probably something legal only in Idaho or Alabama.

If one song had to be playing on loop while you’re having sex, what song would that be?
"Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon. But if my mother is reading this then "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles. In fact, if my mother is reading this then I’m not having sex at all until I’m married. Promise.
jacob

Jacob, 26

GatheringMagic.com

What has Magic: The Gathering taught you about dating?
Magic is a great barometer for potential dates. If you tell a girl that you’re into Magic and she looks at you like you just insulted her grandmother, immediately you know that she isn’t the one for you. On the other hand, you know you have something special if she seems genuinely supportive and interested.

If you’re playing Magic with a hot girl, and she has three life left and you have a Lightning Bolt in your hand that could finish her off, do you use it? Or do you hold back and let her win?
I’d most definitely let her win. However much I love winning, I think most guys love "scoring" more.

What’s the best reason to date someone who plays Magic: The Gathering?
Generally speaking, Magic: The Gathering players aren’t the most experienced daters. But I think you’ll find that we’re a loyal, intelligent and caring bunch. I can guarantee you’ll never have any computer, phone or A/V problems while we’re around.

Is it okay to break up with someone via text message?
If you don’t mind being known as "that guy who broke up with me via text message" for the rest of your life, it’s all good. If you must do it electronically, I’d do it via Facebook instead. It’s much classier, and it saves you the trouble of having to tell all of your potential rebound girls that you’re single again.

What do you think it means to get to third base with somebody?
It means…you have failed.

If one movie had to be playing while you were having sex, what movie would that be?
Cruel Intentions. I think this movie is the closest you can get to porn without it being considered porn. If that doesn’t sound like your thing, you can always pop in your Lord of the Rings extended edition and skip to Liv Tyler’s soft-core sex scene with Aragorn. Not that I’ve ever done that. (It’s at 1:12:30 if you’re curious.)

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