Advice

Sex Advice From Marathon Runners

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Santiago, 25

Guys pay more attention to my boobs, than what goes on above them. Any comebacks I can say that will call them out on staring at the twins?
When you first meet someone, you go for looks. Girls do the same. I’m sure if the guy’s looking at her boobs, the girl can always stare at his crotch. That will make them stop.

I’m meeting the parents tonight. What can I do to make sure they approve of me?
Be honest, and be yourself. If you try too hard the first time you meet them — putting on a façade, and not being yourself — then the second time you see them you’ll have to work your ass off. You don’t want to become two different people, one face with them and one face with the outside world. That’s not cool.
santiago
I’m planning on making my first homemade porn video. Any themes or titles you can suggest?
Oh, been there. How about something with a bike-and-porn theme? For example, there’s a part of the bike called the “cog.” I could see it going like: I’m fixing my bike, and this girl comes up and says, “What kind of cog do you have?” And we go on talking and she’s like, “Yeah, it’s a big cog you have.” And I say, “Yeah, it gets me around.” And then she says, “Oh yeah, show me your cog.” And then I pull down my pants and yeah…yeah…oh wow.

I had sex with this guy the other night. The sex was good, but I noticed he shaved his pubes in the shape of a lightning bolt and this turned me off. Am I being too picky?
It’s kind of childish, a lightening bolt. But if the sex is good why the hell are you complaining?

What’s the sexiest way to start a conversation when you see someone you’re interested in?
I’m a really confident person, so I don’t have a pick-up line or a pat introduction I use all the time. I ask questions about whatever they’re into. Ladies love when you ask them questions and you really listen.

Is it inappropriate to have sex in public places, like a taxi or the corner of a club?
I think public is good, but taxi cabs? I don’t know. Because of the leather and because other people sit there, it’s kind of yucky. Plus, my cab ride’s really short, and I take a long time. So that wouldn’t work for me.

Dana, 27

I have a feeling my boyfriend’s cheating on me. I know I won’t get anything out of him if I confront him. Any ideas how I can catch him red-handed?
Let’s face the facts: if you have a feeling he’s cheating on you, you’re probably right. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I’m thinking of running a naked marathon this summer. What are some exercises I can do to make sure my butt and legs are the sexiest out there?
Squats. When you run by, people should say, “Damn, you could bounce a quarter off that ass!”

Can certain exercises lead to better sex?dana
This one is obvious: kegels. I’m doing them right now, can’t you tell?

Guys tend to pay attention more to my boobs than what’s above them when we first meet. What’s a good way to call them out on staring at the twins?
I run into this problem a lot. I believe the proper response is, “Why do you keep staring at my boobs?” They love that.

Is it better to have sex before or after a marathon?
Night before. After would be like having sex with a dead fish. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. I won’t judge you.

Matthew, 25

I have a feeling my boyfriend’s cheating on me. I know confronting him about my concerns won’t get anything out of him. Any ideas how I can catch him red-handed?
Have your friends spy on him. Check his emails. It wouldn’t happen to me, being a hot marathon runner. But if I had to put myself in that position, I’d probably just ask her honestly. Based on the fact that she’s that into me, she’d let me know.

I’m thinking of joining a naked marathon run this summer. What are some exercises I can do to make sure my butt and legs are the sexiest out there?matt1
Well, if you were with me, when I have sex with a girl I just keep going, because I’m a marathon runner and my stamina doesn’t run out. That’s a big work out, especially for your legs. I’d have you pumping up and down constantly, changing all around, on different floors, everywhere. I’d tone you up. And I’d make you run with me, and then we’d have sex in the woods, then run some more. With me, you’d be ready.

Can certain exercises lead to better sex?
Absolutely. Depending on what you plan on doing, lots of crunches, push-ups, working out your core. Definitely work out the biceps, because you have to pick people up sometimes.

Guys tend to pay attention more to my boobs than what goes on above them when we first meet. Any comebacks I can say that will call them out on staring at the twins?
You could try, “I know I’m hot shit but you don’t see me staring at your crotch.” The best solution for that scenario is to strip your shirt open and show it to him. Be like, “Right here. Do you like it? Do you like what you see?” I mean, I do that to girls all the time.

What’s the best way to seduce a marathon runner?
Personally, I happen to like long, sexy legs, a very flat stomach, and a nice tan. Just remember that marathon runners have the ability to keep going without taking a break for long periods of time. So that means long sessions of seduction. Just remember: endurance is key.