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Sex Advice From Marilyn Monroe Impersonators
by Carly Pifer
Michelle Williams plays Marilyn Monroe in this week's My Week With Marilyn. The following people do not, but we think you'll enjoy their sex advice anyway.
Why is Marilyn Monroe better in bed?
Aw, gee, everybody seems to think I’m better in bed. I don’t know, I guess I just really enjoy myself!
Does your job as a performer get you more male attention than the average blonde?
Yes, definitely. When I walk into a room as Marilyn, all eyes are on me. I definitely do get more attention as Marilyn than as myself, and I would say blondes definitely get more attention.
What are some trademark Marilyn moves in the bedroom?
I’d say she’s very submissive, giggly and coy. And very flirtatious, loves a manly man. She loves when a man is a man and loves to be appreciated for being a woman. I would say I take a lot of that into the bedroom anyway.
What’s the sexiest thing a girl can wear to bed, besides Chanel Number 5?
Men seem to like it when we just wear one of their shirts and nothing else ‘cause it looks like you’re just totally loosey-goosey, you don’t think about what you put on, and you could easily take it off. That’s another thing men love — no underwear. I don’t really understand why.
Yes! Fancy lingerie is never fully appreciated.
Exactly, they just want you au naturel.
Every time I get intimate with a guy, it becomes clear that sex is all they wanted from me. How do I make sure a relationship will become something more than that? How do I get men to see me as more than a sex object?
You have to pretend that all you want is sex and that you’re not interested in anything more, then they’ll become intrigued and they’ll want to win your heart.
I’m currently seeing a married man. People have been scorning me for my involvement, but it’s not as if I seduced him against his will. Who’s to blame in this situation?
You’re both being very, very naughty. If you want to emerge from this situation victorious, you need to make sure you come out of it with a lot of money and gifts — like jewelry!
My girlfriend constantly asks me to reassure her that I love her and think she’s beautiful. I think I’m already very supportive of her, but obviously her insecurity issues are deeper than that. What can I do for her?
Learn that a woman needs to be appreciated and give her at least five compliments a day.
Yes. The rest you can make up for physically.
My lover and I have great sex, but he can only finish if we're in a particular position. This ends up being a little robotic and monotonous, and I wish we could spice things up a little bit. How can I deal with this?
You can go around the corner to the nearest bar and bring home another gentleman to show him how it’s done!
I went on a couple of dates with a really great guy. But he’s middle-school clueless when it comes to sex. Is this a dealbreaker? What can I do to educate him?
If you want to educate your gentleman in the bedroom, you have to assume a domineering persona. I would suggest black leather.
Isn’t that a little too Bettie Page for you, Marilyn?
Well, I did a lot of modeling before I became a movie star, so Bettie and I go way back.