Why is Marilyn Monroe better in bed?
Well, blondes always have more fun, first of all. And second of all, sex is a natural thing and I just go along with nature.

Do gentlemen really prefer blondes then?
As far as I’m concerned, yes.

What’s the sexiest thing a girl can wear to bed, besides Chanel Number 5?
A necktie.

Would you ever take the impersonation into the bedroom?
Let me put it this way: it’s definitely every man’s fantasy to have a night with Marilyn. Whether they get a half an hour, an hour, or a whole evening depends on how much I like them. 

Every time I get intimate with a guy, it becomes clear that sex is all they wanted from me. How do I make sure a relationship will become something more than that? How do I get men to see me than more as a sex object?
A smart woman kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, leaves before she is left, and forgets before she is forgotten.

The woman I'm in love with is extraordinarily beautiful and   is constantly the center of attention wherever we go. She is also wildly flirtatious. I can’t help but feel jealous when she flirts with perfect strangers. How can I cope?
Everyone’s a star and reserves the right to twinkle. It’s better to be happy alone than to be miserable with someone else. That’s another quote. If you can’t handle it, get out of there.

I’m currently seeing a married man. People have been scorning me for my involvement, but it’s not as if I seduced him against his will. Who’s to blame in this situation?
Husbands are better as lovers when they’re betraying their wives. If you want a good lover, get a married man — it’s much more exciting. Just hold your head high and follow your heart.

My lover and I have great sex, but he can only finish if we're in a particular position. This ends up being a little robotic and monotonous, and I wish we could spice things up a little bit. How can I deal with this?
You have to know that there are a thousand positions that he can function in, and try every one of them. Don’t believe there’s only one position he can perform in. Don’t let him believe it, either — you can absolutely entice him out of that.

Commentarium (13 Comments)

Nov 22 11 - 1:16am

I'm disappointed by the lack of drag queens.

Nov 22 11 - 10:19am

Me too.

Nov 22 11 - 1:33am

I'm disappointed by the lack of intelligence. Actually Laura was pretty okay but the others I was just like wtfamireading.

Nov 26 11 - 1:49am

Uhhhhh, yep.

Nov 28 11 - 11:06pm

Yep, thought the exact same thing, lolwut.

Nov 22 11 - 9:13am

Dreadful advice, from everyone except for Laura.

Nov 22 11 - 2:12pm

Dear bk and lolwut,
Stop taking life too seriously. I promise if you had a sence of humor you would have enjoyed this article.
With scorn and laughter,
Someone who is Smarter than you

Nov 22 11 - 12:38pm

My feeling here is that the first two were trying to remain in character and provide advice based on their interpretations of Marilyn Monroe while Laura provided advise as Laura. At least I hope that is what happened. Also, I don't think Marilyn was the woman these women think she was.

Nov 22 11 - 1:00pm
Saratoga Slim

I guess I'm not enough of a necrophiliac to get turned on by the idea of sex with a Marilyn Monroe .

Nov 22 11 - 7:28pm

Thing is, at first I took these comments at face value at first, and really thought of them as 'advice' before reminding myself that the woman they represent, although well loved, had terrible personal relationships which is the same problem I have anyway..

Nov 23 11 - 7:29pm

I liked Laura and her advice. She seemed like she really knew her stuff but wasn't obsessive about it.Her advice came from her and was the most logical

Nov 24 11 - 12:29am

Yay Laura!

Nov 24 11 - 10:48pm

I heard somewhere that for all her sexiness, Marilyn never had an orgasm. Poor dear.