Sex Advice From . . . Massage Therapists

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Brittaney, 28

Massage for seduction: what’s the key? What areas should be touched or avoided? Is there a hand motion or pressure level that’s key?
Light pressure, though it depends on the person you’re massaging. Start light and work from there. Nothing could be more of a turn-off than someone digging their elbow into you. Work superficially. Good areas are neck, ears, face, hands, shoulders, chest, legs. You don’t want to reach for their inner thigh right away.

How can I suggest giving my date a massage without sounding sleazy?
Find out what your date does. If she or he types all day long, and you’re like wow, your hands must be sore, give them a hand massage. If they stand on their feet all day long, say, "Your feet look tired, can I rub them?" That shows you’re listening to what the other person has to say and you’re cognizant of their stresses. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable. If you’ve been hiking all day long, you might not ask to massage their sweaty feet. Use common sense.

Is there a good massage oil that doesn’t feel like you’re smearing Crisco all over your partner?
I would go with a lotion rather than an oil, especially for a man massaging a woman. Lotion is emulsified, so it won’t leave that greasy film in the person’s hair. Oil stains clothes, too. Go to any natural food place and get an unscented, natural body lotion. Scents can send the wrong impression. Something too husky or voluptuous might make the person think you’re a little fruity, or that you do this with everyone you invite over.

Name one pick-up line that works more than most.
I’ve always been the one to pick people up. I invited someone over for dinner once, and they hadn’t moved into their apartment yet, and didn’t have a bed to sleep in, so I said, “Why don’t you spend the night?” That worked quite well. The guy was my neighbor in my building, and I met him while doing laundry, and I said, “Do you want to come over for some dinner. Oh, you don’t have a bed to sleep in?” Be spontaneous.

What’s the best way to pick up a masseuse?
Don’t say masseuse, people will hate you for that. Say massage therapist.

The best way is don’t be their client. Don’t offer a massage either. We’ll just be hypercritical of your technique.

Describe your no-fail, all-purpose orgasm-inducing move.
Man on top. I guess it’s called “The Butterfly.” It’s like missionary position, but the woman wraps her legs around his legs and he’s at a forty-five-degree angle. The key is pubic-to-pubic contact, like a grinding motion. That’s for women, but I’m sure it does an equally good job for men.

Liam, 33

Has anyone ever come to you seeking more than just a massage? How do you handle those situations?
Yes. I had a couple of clients whose hands wandered, so I had to put their hands by their sides and tuck their sheets underneath them so they couldn’t reach around. And I just terminated a session where a woman kept undraping herself, piece by piece. I told her the massage was over and that was it. She’d asked me to work on her stomach for an hour, and the whole time she kept uncovering her breasts.

Massage for seduction: what’s the key?
Hands and feet can be pretty erotic. So can the stomach and the inside of the thighs. You have to be careful working in those areas, though. Watch your pace.

What’s the best way to pick up a massage therapist?
Be somewhat into alternative holistic healing. Be into yoga, or be a massage therapist yourself. Start talking about healing.

I’ve lost sexual interest in my partner but still love her. I want to suggest an open relationship but I know she’s committed to monogamy. Is there any way an open relationship can work?
Open relationships work, absolutely. But if one person wants it and the other doesn’t, it’s a deal-breaker. If you want to pursue it, just talk it out and find out what the person is fearful of.

Tips for shooting an amateur porn video?
Get the clutter out of the background. Any time I look at a personals ad, I always see these bad pictures of a bunch of shit in the background. Old furniture is an absolute turn-off.

Describe your no-fail, all purpose orgasm inducing move.
Anal penetration. It always works. There’s something guarded about that area, but once you’re able to let go of it, it releases something ferocious.

Elizabeth, 33

How can I suggest giving my date a massage without sounding sleazy?
Work on them with their clothes on. But it’s tone of voice, really. One guy might say it and sound sleazy, another guy will sound honest.

What’s the most erotic non-genital pressure point?

Earlobes. Give them a squeeze.

Massage for seduction: what’s the key?
Don’t hurt them. Work on hands and forearms so you can be face to face, and work along the face and ears. That can be sensual or non-sensual, depending on what you bring to it. And stay away from baby oil. That’s frightening!

A friend of mine had three one-night stands last week. What’s the line between being sexually assertive and lacking self-esteem?
If you can remember all the people you were with by their first name, you’re probably not too promiscuous. Or you just have a good long-term memory.

Tips for shooting an amateur porn video?
Focus more on what women want to see. Forget the chrome-dome, over the top shots, like those of the woman moaning in ecstasy just after he lays her down. They need to get away from that. Men need to work a little harder and do more foreplay.

Describe your no-fail, all-purpose orgasm-inducing move.
Persistence is key. You know when you’ve done a good massage because the person’s asleep by the end. If that happened during sex, I’d just cry.
Joseph, 37

Is there a good massage oil that doesn’t feel like you’re smearing Crisco all over your partner?
I searched for years for a massage lotion that I could use that has a lot of glide to it that doesn’t leave a thick residue. Try Biotone Extra Glide. It totally soaks into the skin so you barely notice it’s there.

I’m going on a first date with someone I met on the Internet, and I want to go to a place that could be construed as romantic or not depending on how things go. Where do you recommend?
I’d go to a café at the beach. Down on the boardwalk, it’s light, there’s a nice breeze, and other people around.

Massage for seduction: what’s the key?
Generally for a seductive massage you’re talking about not so deep pressure and flowing movements. It’s not even so much where you’re touching but the way you’re doing it, and your energy and intentions.

Name one pick-up line that works better than most.

“Would you like to dance?” Or just a compliment: “You have beautiful eyes, beautiful hair.”

Is webcamming (chatting with someone via webcam and masturbating) cheating?
Cheating is breaking an agreement with your partner. If they’ve vocalized against it, it’s cheating. If you haven’t talked about it with your partner, it’s inappropriate, but I wouldn’t consider it an egregious violation.  

Interviews by Justin Clark. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to

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