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How do you keep sex interesting?
K: I think you have to be willing to change. I'm thirty-seven now, I got married at twenty-seven, and I have to say for all the girls out there, there's always a discrepancy between how much a guy wants it and how much a woman wants it. It's true about sex drives changing. It's kind of insane. So just hang in there, you guys, there will be a change.
J: It's kind of a misconception that sex becomes less interesting. We deal with that as a band, because people think as soon as you're married, you can't be in a rock band. For us, the sex is definitely still there. I think we just still like each other. If you don't like someone you don't want to have sex with them. And then, it's true about women in their mid-thirties. I always remember when I was a kid thinking, "Nah, that cant be true." But I'm finding it to be very true.
So there's something to look forward to in my thirties.
K: Yes, it's a true phenomenon. That's one way to keep things lively.
I've been dating a girl a few months and everything is going great. How soon is too soon to ask for anal?
K: You've got to wait a while for that one.
J: The first date is probably too soon. Second date maybe, depending on the girl.
Do you have to have met someone's parents before you can do that?
K: You have to be really committed to do that. But that's me. To me, that's giving something pretty special to someone else, even more than your virginity. Because it's pretty personal and you have to make sure this person really cares about you before you're like, "Let's go here." So yeah, you have to be fully committed for a while before that.
J: If you really like her, you may want to wait a little longer. If you really like her, go slowly.
So you definitely have to ask — you can't just surprise somebody with that?
J: That's kind of a weird surprise. Nobody wants that surprise.
Surprise! Right, next question. Because I'm "too nice," I've been faking orgasms with a guy I've been dating several months. I realize I'm not helping anyone here, but how can I bring up this incredibly sensitive subject?
K: Yeah, I don't believe in faking orgasms. I think you dug yourself in a really big hole here, no pun intended. Why fake it? You end up happy if you're not faking it. I think you just need to come clean.
Have you never faked one?
K: Never faked one.
I feel like you're in the minority of women.
K: I just don't think there's a reason to. Make him work for it, or just be honest and say it's not working for me but it's cool. I have friends who fake it and I'm like, "Stop! They need to know how!"
You two met while both of you were in relationships with other people, but you waited till you were both single to get together. What are your views on finding love while you're with someone else?
K: I think our minds were wandering at a certain point in our relationships when we first met. It's hard, but I think you need to be honest with the person you're seeing if there's any thought or anything going on. But the people we were dating, not to discredit any feelings, but they only one- or two-month relationships.
When you met Jason, did you know he was the one?
K: Yeah, I think I did. I think we both agree that it was pretty intense. You have that chemistry only a few times in a lifetime, if you're lucky, where it's right away. I think we didn't really know what to do with it at first, because of our situations, so we kind of backed off.
Would you venture to call it love at first sight?
K: Well, it was lust at first sight, at least.