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Sex Advice From . . . Movie Extras

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Michael, 37
Appeared in Signs as Joaquin Phoenix’s stand-in

How can I bed a movie extra?
Tell him, “I thought you were totally believable in that scene.” He’s desperate and ignored on-set.

I got drunk and slept with my roommate’s boyfriend. Do I have to tell her?
No. The only indiscretions you should admit to are the ones you don’t regret two weeks later, and even then, I’d only upgrade it to a “maybe.”

I’ve been out with a girl three times. I want to end it because I think she’s a little unstable, but she keeps calling. How can I let her down gently?
There are two options here. You could have a preposterous breakdown and out-unstable her. Or change your cellphone number — in this day and age, that’s like moving to Patagonia.

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I want to have sex while I’m on my period. How can I make my boyfriend feel less weird about it?
In my experience, most women are hornier at some point during their period. Don’t tell him you’re on it, unleash your randy slut, and afterwards offer a post-coital, “Oops, I guess my period started.” If you were any good, he won’t give a shit.

My girlfriend lives with her parents. I’m homeless and couchsurfing. We’re getting tired of having sex in my car. What’s the best way we find some alone time?
Get her parents tickets to something. Something in Topeka.

How has working as an extra made you better in bed?
I’m willing to wait around patiently until called, and happy to repeat the take.


Yelena, 27

Appeared in Any Given Sunday

I’ve been out with a girl three times. I want to end it because I think she’s a little unstable, but she keeps calling. How can I let her down gently?
Tell the truth. Say that you don’t see it going anywhere, but you had a good time. That way she doesn’t have to wonder if she did 1,320 different things wrong.

My girlfriend lives with her parents. I’m homeless and couchsurfing. We’re getting tired of having sex in my car. What’s the best way we find some alone time?
How about getting a job and an apartment?

What’s the best movie to watch with someone you want to bed?
I can’t even count the number of times I have heard, “And then we went back to his house and watched Donnie Darko.” Seems to work every time.

Is there anything you tell potential dates about being an extra that helps to seal the deal?
If they’re using me for my extra work, I do not want to sleep with them. I try to tell them I’m an extra afterward.

Is there anything you won’t do on screen?
Depends on how much money is involved. Halle Berry made a ton of money for showing her boobs. I wouldn’t mind that.


Arecee, 18
www.arecee.com/acting.html
Appeared in Hitch, The Manchurian Candidate and The Devil Wears Prada

I got drunk and slept with my roommate’s boyfriend. Do I have to tell her?
Do you really want to be stuck living with someone who hates your guts? Don’t tell unless you absolutely have to.

I’ve been out with a girl three times. I want to end it because I think she’s a little unstable. How can I let her down easily?
Stop calling and start texting. Girls usually hate texts. As a guy, you have to really like a girl a lot to want to talk on the phone about nothing.

I read my boyfriend’s email and found out he’s having dinner with an ex and didn’t tell me. Should I bring it up?
Hell yes. Then you’ll probably get into a big fight and have hot make-up sex. But then he’ll put a password on his computer so you can’t read a damn thing on there anymore.

What’s the best movie to watch with someone you want to bed?
Depends on the person. But guys love porn.

I have a crush on someone who works as a movie extra. What’s the best way to get him to go out with me?
Get him some lines. Then ask for a blowjob. It’s usually the other way around, but this is Hollywood 101.

I was once a naked extra in a film. My girlfriend is pretty conservative, and I’m scared to tell her. Do I have to own up, or will what she doesn’t know not hurt her?
Were you the extra in Teen Wolf who flashed his penis? If you are, then I salute you. Tell your girlfriend. She will be impressed. You are a legend.


David, 33
Appeared in Three Fortunes

I love having my toes sucked, but I’m scared my girlfriend won’t be into it. Any advice on introducing the topic tactfully?
Watch The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and during the post-movie talk ask, “What about that girl who liked toe-sucking? Have you ever tried that?”

I’m not the most well-endowed guy. How can I make up for what I’m lacking in size?
There should be many solutions to this in your spam folder.

My girlfriend lives with her parents. I’m homeless and couchsurfing. We’re getting tired of having sex in my car. What’s the best way we find some alone time?
Try a $15-an-hour rehearsal studio at Champions Rehearsal Space, and please let me know if this works.

I have a big crush on someone who works as a movie extra. How can I bag him?
Just ask him, but when you do, substitute “extra” with “background artist.”

What do you tell potential hookups about being an extra that helps seal the deal?
If the deal-sealer is that you’re an extra, something’s definitely wrong.

Have you had any good on-set hookups?
Delroy Lindo once patted me on the shoulder.
 

Interviews by Nicole Pasulka. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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