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October 4, 2011
Holly, 19, and Lola, 18
Why are Occupy Wall Street protesters better lovers?
Holly: We really have a thing for punk boys, and there are a lot of punk boys here.
Would you ever go out with someone who was against Occupy Wall Street?
Lola: Not everyone here is taking themselves so seriously.
Holly: If a guy didn't at least find this interesting, he's probably too stiff and I wouldn't want to date him anyway.
You're like the Lolitas of Occupy Wall Street. You must have met so many guys.
Holly: Guys are happy to meet us, but I don't think many winners are staked out here too long.
Why? Because they don't have jobs?
Holly: Or homes or anything!
Lola: We're some of the youngest people here, too. So that's an issue.
If Occupy Wall Street were a sex position, how would it work?
Holly: It would be dirty and smell like shame. There would be lots of hungry people involved.
Lola: And voyeurism!
I recently started dating this new girl, and she's great. But here's the problem: she expects me to pay for everything. I'm struggling to pay my student loans and rent. How do I ask her to chip in more without her thinking I'm a loser?
Holly: We're actually here because of our student loans. That's our platform, I guess. I wouldn't want to pay for everything my boyfriend wants, so I think it's only fair for the girl to chip in.
Lola: I agree. He should be able to bring it up with her. I mean, he has to understand what she can afford, too.
Holly: And if you can't afford something, there are other ways to show your love. It doesn't have to cost money... or not a lot of money, anyway.
Lola: Holly and I love each other, and we're broke. We go out to McDonald's all the time for four-dollar dinners.
I've been faking orgasms more often than not for the last six months. I thought things would work themselves out, but they haven't. How do I come clean to my partner now?
Holly: In any honest relationship, you should feel comfortable telling your boyfriend what you want and how you want it sexually. If he doesn't want to satisfy you, he's not a good boyfriend.
Lola: You need to give him more direction. It's up to a woman to take initiative and speak up. It's a combination of responsibility for the man and the woman.
Holly: After the first new times of it not happening, you have to help a guy out. Show him what to do.
Lola: He can't read your mind... or your clitoris.
My girlfriend recently referred to one of her male co-workers as her "work boyfriend." They sit near each other and go out to lunch. Now they're texting and talking about hanging out one weekend. Is this normal, or should I be alarmed?
Holly: I really don't think that's normal. But she may not be guilty of anything. Talk to her about it. She should be willing to sacrifice a few things for her boyfriend, including a friendship with another guy. She should care if it bothers him.
Lola: You should also talk about the term she's using. Calling someone your "work boyfriend" is a little weird. Of course that would make some people uncomfortable.
My girlfriend and I are in a sexual rut. I feel like we're more friends than lovers. What's an easy way to spice things up?
Holly: Send each other dirty photos during the day, like while you're at work.
Lola: Do things that are completely sexual. Like sexting — friends don't do that.
Commentarium (59 Comments)
This article sucks!! Typical liberals.
Damnit Nerve, why'd you pick these idiots? YOU'RE NOT HELPING! Meanwhile the media goes apeshit over 40 fat Tea Partiers having a 'rally' over the guvment...
And "Riiight?" If you hate Libby Lib Libruhls so much, why do you spend so much time commenting on Nerve? :P
because i love trolling.
I guess somebody hasn't been paying attention to Nerve lately. Oh well, if you don't like " these idiots", then why do you come to nerve? Dumbass.
I love this article.
I would take the protests more seriously if those people weren't there.
Sex advice from a bunch of hipsters that wouldn't have jobs even if the economy were doing well? No thanks.
Dave has a job. Lola and Holly are college students. Cesar will be a college student in the spring.
Yeah, but their still libs.
Actually, I can tell the difference between their, there, and they're.
your so right.
Look out!
Dave seems interesting, smart, and open-minded (and kinda cute), so props to him.
Sadly, I have to agree with the previous commenters that the others are idiots who are not helping the cause. Well, to be fair, the girls at least seem well-meaning and fun-loving even if they're ditzy and immature, whereas the third guy is just an ass.
yup. how can this site have an article blastic FOX for editing the one intelligent interviewee, then post the second two interviews? Seriously? Out of all of those people, this is the selection??
at least these girls have a sense of humor and are supporting the cause at all. what are you doing from behind the internet?
I'm still trying to figure out the "Cats against groceries" thing. What is this supporting?
Oh my goodness, I bet these young ladies were probably reeled into Wall Street from the fake RadioHead Concert posting, not for actual protesting. In an important protest such as this, its embarrassing to see our youth making themselves look like complete unintelligent, attention-whoring fools. Advice to these two young women...At your age, you have so much power when it involves speaking and commenting on our government. People WANT to listen about how our countries issues are affecting YOU! Use these opportunities in your benefit to create a greater country, not only a chance to have your photograph taken and posted on Nerve.
Also, what the heck is "Cats against groceries " supposed to define anyway?
Big issue man. Makes me go ME-OW in pain.
Oh Nina, such a victim of the big bad machine... We feel so bad for your lazy ass. Take a shower and get a job loser!!!
Oh tay.
I have no idea why everyone is so hard on these people. Obviously some of that is trolling, but come on. Considering how young they were, I was impressed by Lola and Holly's advice. Except for the sexting thing--I really felt the generation gap there.
@nope,
You usually seem like a bright individual, yet you really have "no idea" why people are not so pleased with these folks? On international news, this gets coverage with the tagline "Taking their inspiration from Tahrir square", which is a little over the top to start, but at least gives the protest the benefit of the doubt in its seriousness. Then you have these clownshoes (minus the first guy) who show up to represent the worst of liberalism and make it all look like a joke.
Yeah, I guess I was contextualizing this more in terms of "just another Sex Advice column" than "representatives of Occupy Wall Street." I can understand the frustration.
ya so, the skinny cat chic is hot.
HA HA. Because i want sex advice from a horny and bored scene kid and two girls who look they have lived in that cardboard box forever. Atleast the first guy didnt make a COMPLETE ass of himself.
I am Riiiight's gay alter ego.
Nobody cares who's who on here anymore.
Get back to work, sock puppet.
Did no one else find the whole "he can't read your mind ...or your clitoris" really hysterically witty?
This depresses me. A protest should not be a party. A march should not be romantic getaway. People in this country are really suffering, and those who actually have an opportunity to voice themselves are wasting it with these stupid hippie charades. A drum circle doesn't cull sympathy. Dressing like a fucking cat isn't a political statement. Talking about fake orgasms is so wildly insensitive given the socioeconomic intent of these movements. It robs those who are trying to build something of their legitimacy and gives ammunition to the establishment. Youth unemployment is at 18 percent. The economy needs to add 125,000 jobs per month just to keep up with population growth. It added 0 in August. That's: zero. People are leaving for developing economies to find work making $10,000 per year. Europe is about to collapse into economic chaos. Our deficit threatens to bankrupt the next several generations. Washington is so grounded in its polarized ideologies that it is rendered completely impotent. And these assholes, who are supposed to be there protesting the utter powerlessness that's befallen our generation, are sulking around begging for a lay? Can we all just pull our collective head out of our collective ass pleeeeez? Just this once? Please?
Read the first two words of the title of this article, consider the questions that were asked, and then consider why you got SO MAD that you had to post a massive block of poorly formatted text. pf;dr. Calm down son.
TWL- Thank you. Seriously. I am appalled by this article. One of the best ways for movements like this (which may have a lot of potential) to be 'hijacked' is to paint it as a pseudo-rebel disenchated youth movement. Way for these morons to reinforce that.
And as for mr. jobless...way to put that one together; clearly you're being impacted by what people are really upset about, you're surrounded by it and you can't even figure it out. go you.
TWL you're one F'd up loser. Get a job and stop your whining...
You tell 'em!
Now watch some of them go to a job interview and get recognized and not get the job.
If there protesting with this group I doubt that looking for a job is on their agenda. Losers!
That's the spirit.
Call me a stick all you want but this does more to derail a legitimate movement that's aimed at giving a voice to those in need than any Fox News campaign could dream of. This is the left wing equivalent of misspelled Tea Party signs. Why can't anyone see their own fucking clownishness??? Those fucking fat cat pieces of shit in Washington and on Wall Street will read something like this and laugh themselves to death. I'm so embarrassed and so ashamed...
Hells yeah, Riiiight!! You tell um libtards!
Legitimate movement??? Nothing legitimate about it. You're just a useful idiot for Obama's reelection plans. You're being played fool. Wake up!
Somebody from Anonymous please take down this garbage immediately...
I'm done with Nerve.
yep. me too. it's been fun.
Good job, boys.
When will America wake up and realise that you are all up shit creek without a paddle and taking the rest of the world with you? People in North Africa risked death to get freedom of expression and wow, look what young people in the US do with it. Dress up as cats and sort of hope that sorts things out. This article is so depressing especially as I have spent the last twenty minutes surfing the net to find some sort of intelligent and informative article in the US press on the Wall Street protests. How bad will it have to get before people get angry? Surely by that stage it will be too late?
The problem is that the losers protesting have never seen what it is like to live under dictatorship. I wish they could all be shipped to N. Korea to see how bad it is.
Looks good. The communist threat is a little old though. Try throwing in some anti-muslim sentiments too.
Nobody said communist except you. Dictatorships come in all forms and always end badly for them and the citizens. Obamas and Soros attempt will also end badly. You'll realize this after it's too late. Right now you're serving as our useful idiot.
That's better, boy! You get a bonus this week for mentioning "Obamas and Soros"! Keep up the good work.
One in the same BOY
Cool!
Nerve, you let us down this time.
I expect better material from you if I'm paying you $11 an hour.
Here's some good advice; get a feekin shower and a job you losers! Nothing attracts like success.
Don't steal my thundah!
The people on wall street right now are the most eclectic people because everyone is either poor, hungry, angry, sad, bored, horny, lonely, wanna see someone famous or wanna beast on the free food. Either way it's helping the movement becaus it's adding to the masses. Stop complaining and Get off the internet and go down to wall street, or sit outside your own chase bank.
Sorry I can't. I'm at work. What's "work" you say? Doing something that I enjoy that pays my bills and builds the society you want to destroy. You should try it sometime instead of being lazy and destructive.
Good job, kiddo. Keep up the good work!
Yes. I am at work. Therefore my political opinions are correct.
I work typically 50 hrs a week; I live in the south and there are plenty of unemployed lazy-ass republicans (lot of them smoke pot too unlike what most peoplein the northeast think the south probably has got them beat on that factor). just cause these lazy unemployed fox-news watchin' good-for-nothings not going out there protesting or engaging in society doesn't make them any better than these college kids.