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So tell me about your sign.
My friend made it for me. He wanted to go around, looking for girls.
Have you been successful?
There were a couple smiles. He got some hugs. I've been pretty tired all day, though. I got here at six a.m.
So you still have time to meet someone.
Yeah. I'm going to be here until it ends.
Are you here just for girls?
No, I also came here to sleep and protest.
What do you do when you're not here looking for girls?
When I'm not here looking for girls, I'm at Union Square looking for girls. I'm unemployed, so I have a lot of free time. I'm not going to school until spring.
If the Occupy Wall Street were a sex position, how would it work?
It'd be like reverse cowgirl or missionary.
But those are totally different! It wouldn't be kinkier?
I don't know. Everyone's sober here.
I've been faking orgasms more often than not for the last six months. I thought things would work themselves out, but they haven't. How do I come clean to my partner now?
You've just got to never call him again.
Come on. What if it gets better when we talk about it?
"What if?" a lot of things. If you're faking orgasms, there needs to be a reality check. Maybe this guy's just not good. Six months is a long time. You should've said something the second time you faked it.
My girlfriend and I are in a sexual rut. I feel like we're more friends than lovers. What's an easy way to spice things up?
Just introduce something new in a natural way. Surprise her. If she asks, just say you want to try something new with her.
I recently started dating this new girl, and she's great. But here's the problem: she expects me to pay for everything. How do I ask her to chip in more without her thinking I'm a loser?
Tell her, "I'm going through a financial crisis. I have no money." What else can you do? If she doesn't want to go out with you because you can't spend money on her, she's not the right girl.
My boyfriend just got this great new job and now he acts likes a different person. He's obsessed with status and material things. That stuff didn't impress him in the past. I know people change, but when do different values become a dealbreaker?
Money changes everything. He's recreating himself. Mo' money, mo' problems. Money's not important to me, though.