Bryan, 38

A guy just asked me out. He's a devout Christian and I'm a devout atheist. Do you think we have any chance of making it work?
You have as much chance as anybody else of making it work. The significant qualities that make a relationship work often are not connected to religious background. My girlfriend is, at best, an agnostic and I'm a pastor.

When I was seventeen I got caught masturbating in a church bathroom. How can I get over this humiliation and guilt and just let myself enjoy a religious service?
Just go to church. Get over it. Of all the things you can get caught doing in a church, that's got to be one of the least offensive.

What's more offensive?
Stealing from the church, insulting women, proclaiming violent jihad among others, judgmentalism. In fact, come to my church, I know just the bathroom for you to use in my church.

The guy I've been dating has only been with three women. I've been with at least thirty men, and more women than he has. I know it's only a matter of time before he wants to know how many partners I've had. Should I tell him the truth and risk scaring him off, or is it okay in this case to tell a little white lie?
If he's got a problem with that then you probably don't need the guy anyway. On top of that, you should tell him the truth, because it's inevitable he'll find out one way or another. It will become obvious, like when you go out and you run into guy after guy you used to date.

My boyfriend of five years just bought a house and wants me to move in. I really like living alone, but I'm afraid if I don't move in we're going to break up. He keeps saying things like "our relationship isn't going anywhere." What should I do?
If you don't want to move in, don't move in. Just be honest about where you are with that issue and resist the temptation to move in because the other person wants you to. Bad idea.

I've been volunteering at the local soup kitchen lately and I'm 99.9% sure the cute, young, single pastor has been flirting with me. I've finally built up the nerve to ask him out, but have no idea how to go about actually doing it. Any suggestions?
Use email, choose a discreet location and, um, suggest a rendezvous. Most clergy are a little reluctant to get amorous on the job. So moving things to an alternative location discreetly is the only possible hope. And don't go to his church, ever. Any ethical clergy person would be reluctant to date people in his or her congregation.

I'm a twenty-seven-year-old gay man who has come out to everyone but my very religious parents. On one hand, I feel like by not telling them, I'm living a lie. But on the other, I don't want to break their hearts, and I know they'll never understand or accept it. What should I do?
Go to church and out religious them.

Then what?
That's all you gotta do. Once you prove to them that you're more religious than they are then they can't question anything.