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November 15, 2011
Harold, 26
Why are named Harold instead of something like Joe?
My dad wanted to name me after the last true English king, King Harold, who was killed in 1066.
Do people ever call you Harry?
My family calls me Harry, but my friends call me Harold. It’s kind of fun to have the separation. Most people think Harold’s a pretty cool name. It’s a turn-on. Or memorable, at least.
Have you ever wished you had a different name, like maybe in school when kids teased you?
I used to be called Harry in school, but I also had extremely long hair down to my shoulders until sixth grade. So the other kids made so much fun of the fact that my name was Harry. When I went to middle school, I decided to go by Harold.
But you never wanted to just be Josh or something common?
No, I love my name.
Are any names a turn-on or turn-off for you?
I think Maude would be a bad one. Harold and Maude?
That could be cute. You could have a themed wedding, if things work out.
Nah. There are a lot of names that are exclusively for old ladies at this point.
Are there any advantages to having your old-fashioned name, besides people thinking it’s cool?
It’s good to have a rare name. People remember it and don’t mix you up with other people. When I was in college, a lot of buildings on campus were named after various Harolds from the 1920s, so that made me feel cool. I’ve never tried to impersonate an old person, though.
I have this friend with benefits who's really sexy, but she's the worst at dirty talk. She uses goofy euphemisms, like "ding-dong" and "wee-waw." How can I improve her dirty-talk skills without making her feel stupid?
Inebriation might help. I think you can give her some specific pointers. Maybe she’s doing some sort of role-playing. Maybe she wants to pretend she’s a kid. Or maybe’s she’s stupid.
I'm a guy, and I've always been a little grossed out by oral sex. I've never been on the giving end. Does this automatically make me a selfish jerk?
You hasn’t even tried it. So currently, you're a selfish jerk.
I was on this really great date, drank a lot, and ended up opening up way too much. I think I may have even cried a little. Any ideas for damage control? The date was otherwise really promising.
Be straightforward. Ask your date if the date was fun or funny. Say you feel embarrassed. A lot of people get way too drunk on dates.
But not everyone cries on a date. I think there’s a gender difference. If a woman got drunk and cried, it might be charmingly neurotic. If a guy did it, it’s weird.
Either way, it’s funny and memorable. Just say you’re embarrassed.
Commentarium (33 Comments)
Wise, well-spoken AND beautiful? Sigh, if only Eloise had a birthday that more closely matched that of her name. Then she'd be closer to my age! Nice photo too.
Well, she did say she likes Walter Matthau. Maybe there's a chance for you.
I'm a little surprised by the consistently negative reaction to the guy who doesn't want to try oral sex. I feel like the bedroom is a place where you should be able to say "eh, no, that makes me uncomfortable" without being labeled a jerk/prude/whatever.
Nope.
I agree. I'm actually a bit grossed out by the idea of being on the receving end of oral. Don't get me wrong now, it feels amazing and I do like it. But when I think about it, I feel grossed out and dont want much mouth interaction until mouthwash is present.
When a guy says that, I think there's an assumption (fair or unfair) that he's receiving and failing to reciprocate. But yeah, I agree that we take dude comfort levels for granted sometimes. If a woman told me she didn't like to go down on guys, I'd say cool, that's your choice. If a dude said the same thing, my kneejerk reaction would be less sympathetic.
@em - I agree with your reaction, but it seems messed up. Even if he enjoys receiving oral sex but not giving, that's not to say that he doesn't more than make up for it with his hands, toys, etc. Not being comfortable with one sex act hardly makes you a jerk.
I just have a hard time believing that if a girl said she didn't like going down, that there would be a consensus that she's a selfish bitch.
@redic- clearly you are in denial if you really think it's ok for a girl to say she doesn't go down. those girls exist, but their boyfriends (if they actually get one) cheat on them with girls who will blow them.
that being said, as a female i don't need a guy to go down on me all the time BUT he does need to be willing to do it. being an unselfish partner does involve being open-minded enough to try things that you may not be super excited about at first. how can you really say that you are not into something that you have never done? maybe "selfish jerk" is the wrong label, but "immature, close-minded prude" would be pretty fair. it's oral sex, for christsake.
@hmm you're ridiculous. In the vast majority of my sexual relationships, including my marriage I have been a generous giver but not a receiver. A lot of women are just not comfortable with or into blow jobs and I'd rather have no blow job at all then a half-hearted one. And while I have fantasized about my partners being a bit more giving in that way, I have never felt the need to cheat on them because of the lack of blow jobs. The other aspects of our sex life were/are fulfilling. I see no reason why a man can't be equally uncomfortable about going downtown without being stigmatized as long as he is an otherwise considerate lover.
@hmm - "being an unselfish partner does involve being open-minded enough to try things that you may not be super excited about at first. how can you really say that you are not into something that you have never done?"
Really? There's nothing in the realm of sexuality that you've never tried and would be unwilling to try, with the logic that you know it's not your thing? You might say someone's a prude if they don't want to try oral sex, but where's that line? Anal sex? Watersports? BDSM? If someone's uncomfortable with something, even if they haven't tried it, they should have the right to say "Eh, not my thing" and not catch flak for it.
And I agree with JM - I've dated girls who weren't into giving head, but I never felt the need to cheat on them.
@hmm, also by that logic we all can just defy our sexualities to please a partner as well? Perhaps a straight man should sleep with another man because his girl wants him too even though it disgusts him and vice versa. People know what they are comfortable with. Don't belittle that.
@JM, ridic, MML, and any other guy who is offended by my comment:
maybe i just have a skewed view of relationships and sexuality because i have tried just about everything that ridic mentioned because i have had various relationships where my partner wanted to try those things. i couldn't say that i didn't like them, because i didn't know what they felt like. being open-minded allowed me to (1) please the partner i had and (2) learn more about my body and my preferences. there are plenty of sexual acts that i would have NEVER dreamed of enjoying that are now (happily) a regular part of my sex life. that being said, i was not calling the guy a prude because he's not kinky. he's a prude because he won't go down on a girl. period. that is not kinky. that is standard sexual practices. in case you didn't realize, women work a little bit differently than men. we typically require a bit more in the foreplay department and the majority of women would agree that oral sex is one of the most effective forms. the reason each girl who was interviewed for this piece called him selfish is because most women need oral to actually climax. we aren't like men. a man could live without blow jobs (but i'm pretty sure most would not sign up for that) because he is going to come from sex. 90% of women cannot climax from only vaginal penetration. we need clitoral stimulation. regardless of whether there are other ways of achieving that (i know all about toys, etc) the reality is this: oral sex is a nice thing to do. i'm not belittling his boundaries, but he is close-minded and will probably not get very far with women if he doesn't get over this whole not wanting to go down on a girl thing.
if you're calling him a prude and close-minded, then yes, you are belittling his boundaries.
@hmm I'm not offended by your comment but I think you are the one being close minded and uncompasionate. The individual probably knows that not wanting to perform oral sex is outside the mainstream and that it is considered a standard option. I can't see how a person wouldn't. There is a reason he doesn't like it (and I'm saying genuinely doesn't like it to the point where it is upsetting for him to do so as opposed to preferring not to because he's too macho or something) even if he doesn't know the reason consciously and he has every right to discuss that with his partner and work out a solution. Like you I'm a boundary pusher, but many people aren't and I think most people aren't too consciously aware of why they aren't which makes it all the more difficult.
Don't be silly, there are lots of pretty things that end in "th". Eyeteeth. Yeshivoth. Bloodbath. Growth. Megadeath... um...
OK, so there aren't many. Edith's definitely a mark in the plus column, though.
Nothing wrong with the name Elizabeth, emphasis on the "th"!
Well, that's just not true at all. If you put the emphasis on the TH, it sounds ridiculous.
i think i'm in love with edith
I didn't realize old-person names were so hot until now.
GOD I LOVE THEHAIRPIN! Especially Edith!
Tiffani: Cigerette holders, satan gloves, up-do's and breakfast at tiffani's
Karen: also, a 40 something woman
Mike: a man who loves football and beer
Walter: Balding man with glasses who sells Blue crystal meth.
Tiffani: Lesbian
Karen: Yeah Yeah Yeah's
Mike: Beer gut and small penis
Walter: Corn cob pipe smoker
Honestly, I think if a young woman nowadays flat-out would not give oral sex to a man nowadays, she would be viewed as ridiculous and prudish, far more than a man who did not give oral sex to a woman.
However, I think both of these standards are stupid. If you're not into giving head, you're not into giving head. Now if you can't please your partner without going down on them, that's a different issue, but sex isn't so linear that "oral --> penetrative" is the only course of action a couple can take.
Having someone go down on me feels nice, but if my partner could get me off other ways I wouldn't miss it too much. But if my partner refused to go down on me because he thought it was gross, that would be a deal breaker. It would make me feel self conscious to know that the person I was fucking that my body was disgusting, and it would make me wonder what hang ups they had about sex in general. This might just be an immaturity/inexperience issue though. It can be scary and strange down there at first! Good news is that you find your way around eventually.
"Eloise is an attractive name. It’s not like Blanche or Esther." As an Ester, I object. But it's true that the lack of an "h" makes all the difference to me, and that's partly why I get so annoyed when people spell my name wrong. Still: Blanche Devereaux and Blanche DuBois -- both pretty hot.
@redic, i have a question...do you like having your member sucked? yes...well that brings me to another question...dont you think you should at least return the favor? if you are willing to receive then you should be open minded to giving as well, sex isnt a 1 way street home-skillet.
I enjoy it, but I would never demand it of a girl who didn't like giving blowjobs. As I've stated numerous times, I don't feel as though being a good lover means that you have to compromise your own boundaries. If you need to date someone who enjoys giving oral sex, that's your choice - but it's not some character flaw of the other individual.
By your logic, if someone enjoys anal sex, that person needs to either enjoy both giving and receiving, or nothing at all. And more dominant folks should also enjoy being submissive. But sexuality doesn't really work that way. Date who you want to date, screw who you want to screw, but don't belittle others for having a different set of sexual preferences.
"Ester"... that's awesome. Speaking as a chemist, that's an interesting name. It's certainly better than "Ketone".
Woah, Edith!! I've been reading the Hairpin for the past year and totally thought Edith was a middle aged woman. I think I'll read the Hairpin right now--with new eyes!
How's that for an old name? I wanted to get in on the oral sex discussion. I'm male, late 50's, married. I can't believe this guy DOESN'T like going down on a woman. I couldn't live without it. Loved the smell, loved the taste, loved the intimacy of being there with my face, mouth, and eyes. I once read that you can tell if a man likes doing it by whether or not he is hard while doing it. I always was. I would even go down on a woman after intercourse if she wanted it then. (And yes, I mean bareback.) I just figured that smell and taste was also a part of sex. Like getting snowballed, or a woman kissing me when my face was covered with her aroma and flavor. Why am I using the past tense? My wife closed up shop 4 years ago...
I know a 19-year-old named Adalbert...
i like to blame my own sexual insecurities and inadequacies on men by bashing their penis size and also their love making ability.Its the sour-puss,bitter life of a NYC sex positive feminist! Yes were losers!
Edith is really pretty. She interviewed that forgettable-face guy from Captain America, and I think she could have hit that.