Advice

Sex Advice From . . . Personal Trainers

Pin it
 REGULARS


Amie, 23 (above)

Do you ever need to resist come-ons from a client?
I have, many times. One client would always try to flirt with me by talking about the latest Star Trek episode. He even greeted me with the Star Trek hand gesture and emailed me pictures of him dressed up in Scooby-Doo costumes.

What are the best exercises to improve strength and endurance in the bedroom?
Any exercise makes a difference. Many studies have shown that people that exercise more have more sex; orgasms are more intense and frequent, and even last longer. By doing cardio, you help your heart rate stay down longer, which might help you last. Strength exercises help as well. For example, if a woman has more leg strength, she may be able to ride on top longer.

I’m a woman who’s only attracted to gay men. They’re put together, take care of themselves and understand me. But I miss sex. What should I do?
Date bisexual men. Otherwise, there are men out there who take care of themselves. Try looking at the gym, bookstores and coffee shops instead of clubs and bars.

What do the following fitness routines say about a person’s sexual characteristics:
– A woman who only takes yoga and Pilates?
She’ll be flexible in bed, energetic and open to new things.

– A guy who goes on long runs alone?
He has stamina. He is determined, independent and a self-starter.

– A female bodybuilder?
Most women in competitive bodybuilding use steroids to gain mass and strength. Because of this, her testosterone level may cause a variety of side effects: mood swings, back hair, enlarged clitoris and deepened voice. But, hey, if you’re into that, go for it, buddy.

Any sexy exercise videos to get me in shape and in the mood?
All exercise videos pretty much feature women bent over in tight clothes, sweating. I’d only stay away from Richard Simmons, unless you like older men with bad haircuts.

Any workout gear that could double as bedroom paraphernalia?
I would avoid heavy metal objects such as barbells. But the stability ball has some great possibilities.

Jim, 32

How do you tell a significant other:
– Their body needs some serious toning?
If this is a man telling a woman, handle it like the “Do I look fat in these jeans?” question. A guy should not tell his lady that her body needs some “toning." Being this blunt is asking for trouble. The best thing to do is include her in your workouts. If it’s a woman telling a man, she can just say, “Get in shape, or I will not have sex with your untoned ass."

– Their oral sex technique needs improving?
Guys have to understand that the super-speed-tongue-across-the-pussy, as seen in porn, does not work in the real world. Slow and steady works best. Lick around the pussy, kiss and lick the inner thighs, lick the crease of the leg. Be prepared to stay down there awhile. Good oral sex should take about twenty to twenty-five minutes.

Is it ever okay to hook up with a client?
The rule would be no. However, like all things in life, there are shades of grey. It really depends on how much you value them as a client or as a love interest. And the bottom line is: how much is this person paying you?

Any sexy exercise videos to get me in shape and in the mood?
For the ladies, the Tae-Bo stuff with Billy Blanks. Guys, just watch women’s volleyball on ESPN.

What are some tips for giving a good handjob?
Stand directly behind your man — in front of a mirror is very hot — or lie right beside him in the bed. Grab his cock. Start pumping it up and down, slowly at first, then a little faster. If he places his hand over yours and follows your motion, let him assist. You can be a little rough with it; hell knows we are.

What are some good ways of turning someone down after you’ve had sex with them once, and once was enough?
Plain and simple. Just say, “I don’t feel we are sexually compatible.” If they ask why, then give them the laundry list of what they did wrong. But don’t be surprised if they key your car the next day.


Sarah, 29, trainer and yoga specialist

Website: www.pureblissyoga.com

What are the best exercises to do to improve strength and endurance in the bedroom?
Yoga is excellent for the bedroom. It enhances strength, flexibility and stamina. And the breath/body awareness can help draw you deeper into the sensations of your body and make you more aware of those of your partner.

Specifics?
There are bondas, or locks, which are performed in different areas of the body. The anal lock, in which you tighten and hold the muscles of the perineum, is especially good for helping men control their erections. And deep pelvic floor exercises are super-great for women to gain extra control over their vaginal muscles and keep them toned and tight.

Tips for having anal sex for the first time?
Anyone who wants to perform anal sex on someone else should get some lube and a correspondingly sized dildo — or a carrot if you don’t have one — and try it on yourself. This will give you a good idea of what works and what doesn’t, so you’ll be more sensitive when performing on your partner.

When my boyfriend and I have sex, he goes at it like a rabbit. How can I tell him to slow down without making him think I don’t enjoy being with him?
Positive suggestions work well. Say, "I like it slow and deep" or just growl ecstatically, "slower". A lot of men love taking orders, because they really do want to please you. Try tilting your pelvis back and forth as he moves in and out. This will vary the depth and tightness of each stroke and will feel good to both of you — you especially. Also, tightening and releasing your vaginal muscles while he’s inside you feels amazing to him and may distract him enough to slow down. Or you could always just tie him down and do it your way.

What are some good pick-up lines to use at the gym?

"Did you see that 60 Minutes piece on Ricky Williams?" or "What do you think of macrobiotic diets?" Show you have a brain and expect them to have one too. "Do you work around here?" is also a good one. It’s safer than asking where they live, but then you can easily talk about the neighborhood — an instant connection.

What are some tips for giving a good handjob?

Remember that genetically, before we are born, male and female genitalia is the same. The head of the penis equals the clit. Treat it as such, and vice versa. Also, there is a thick long vein running up the underside of the penis which is very sensitive. Try keeping pressure on it while you move your hand up. Also try stroking it sideways.

Any workout gear (medicine balls, dumbbells) that could double as bedroom paraphernalia?
Well, those flexible therabands one uses for stretching are great to tie people up with and yoga blocks are great for raising different parts of the anatomy to desired positions. I suppose the smallest dumbbells could be inserted all sorts of places.

Chris, 30, personal trainer/male dancer

What are the best exercises to improve strength and endurance in the bedroom?
Male Kegel exercises. The easiest way to explain that is you contract the muscles you use to take a pee. Start around 200 a day and increase to 500.

Five hundred? My God.
Yep. But you gotta do it.

Are there any exercises I can get my boyfriend to do to improve his libido?
Squats, push-ups, lifts. Anything that challenges your body’s movement will increase testosterone and, in turn, your libido. Squats especially do a lot.

What’s the most easily avoidable mistake people make in bed?
Too much self-analysis. Just relax, have fun and let go.

What do the following fitness routines say about a person’s sexual characteristics:
– A woman who only takes yoga and pilates?

Probably the more laid-back type, probably not one of the wild ones.

– A guy who goes on long runs alone?
A fact about very long runs: they bring your testosterone down about thirty percent and decrease muscle mass. He’s probably a thinker, maybe a Pisces type. Could be really good in bed, or a total dud, but is probably either one or the other.

– A female bodybuilder?
They have a rep for being sex freaks — very high sex drive.

– The regulars at cardio striptease class?
Very open minded — anything goes.

My boyfriend is very close with an ex-girlfriend. He claims they’re just friends, but I can’t help being jealous. What should I do about it?
Once you’ve had sex with someone once, it’s much easier to do it again.
Find out what you’re jealous about, then tell him. It’s not that you don’t trust him, but that it’s probably you don’t trust her.

I like watching porn, especially right before sex. The girl I’m dating considers it cheating — how can I get her into it?
Explain to her that it’s watching the act that gets you turned on, not watching the other women, hence it’s not cheating.

Noyah, 32


Tips for having anal sex for the first time and getting it right?
Work on your glutes for a few weeks prior, so your vanity might win over the tension.

What are the best exercises to do to improve strength and endurance in the bedroom?
The sex itself will take care of the strength and endurance; it’s the aftereffects you need to worry about, like a tight back and a sore neck. So while your partner is making coffee, make sure you do a cross stretch (left knee bends to the right and vice versa), a hamstring stretch and hug your knees to your chest. That would definitely be on my post-coital DVD.

What’s a good way to turn someone down after you’ve had sex with them once, and once was enough?
Reverse psychology. Call them back, tell them you’re available anytime. Offer to let them move in. You’ll never hear from them again.

Are there any exercises my boyfriend can do to improve his libido?
I have two words for you: bench presses. It works like magic. The act of pushing weight up and down just gets guys going.

I’m a woman who’s only attracted to gay men. They’re put together, take care of themselves and understand me. But I miss sex. What should I do?
That’s a tough one; I’m a former fag hag myself. Unfortunately, you need to move to another continent. European men do not wear khakis or college sweatshirts. South American men love to talk. I don’t know much about the guys in Australia, but they all have great bleach-blond hair.

How do you tell your lover the following:
Their body needs some serious toning?
Their oral sex technique needs improving?
They’ve never given you an orgasm?
You can hit all three issues in one speech, minimizing damage: “Honey, I can’t orgasm when you go down on me because I lose my concentration when I think I see cellulite on your butt.”

Is it ever okay to hook up with a client?
As a general rule, it’s best not to hook up with people who pay your rent. It’s just not a great premise, unless you’re really into roleplay. Resisting come-ons is tricky, but playing dumb and talking about ligament inflammation usually does the trick.

Any workout gear that could double as bedroom paraphernalia?
I’ve always thought that inner-thigh chair could be put to better use.

My lover is self-conscious about his/her body in the bedroom. How do I make him/her feel more comfortable?
Have sex in the kitchen. 

Interviews by Liza Gennatiempo.

Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Do you have sex-advice questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.


Previous Sex Advice

 


©2005 Nerve.com, Inc.