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Sex Advice from . . . Pillow Fighters

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The Pillow Fight League is an ongoing competition featuring brawling, beautiful female combatants from all over North America. Nerve caught up with four of them at a recent Brooklyn throwdown. Visit www.gopfl.com.

Sailor Jerry, 22

What are the best ways to incorporate a pillow into sex?
Lifting up your butt by putting a pillow underneath, or take off the pillow case and tie your partner to the bed with it.

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I’m in love with a person who just got out of a long-term relationship. They say they need more time to get over their ex before getting emotionally involved with me. It’s been four months. How much longer should I wait?
I’d just leave it as a booty call because sometimes people have issues that you just don’t want to take on. If they’re not ready to move on, give them space and they’ll get back to you when they are. It’s not worth having some guy cry after you do it or get back together with his girlfriend.

Recently, I was fighting over the phone with my boyfriend and I realized I was turned on and touching myself. What do you think that means?
It means you’re a bottom. You like getting yelled at and humiliated.

I’m notorious for my wandering eye, but I really love the guy I’m with and want to give monogamy a try. Any advice on keeping my urges in check?
I’ve never been monogamous in one single relationship. I’m a fucking cheater. My advice is to masturbate a lot to pictures of other people. Or close your eyes and imagine you’re having sex with someone else — a cock feels like a cock.

I’m on anti-depressants that deflate my sex drive, but I still want to date. What should I do?
I had a nervous breakdown about two years ago and was on every kind of sedative there is, and I totally lost my sex drive. I dated guys that weren’t just interested in fucking. I just needed a friend to cuddle, watch movies with, kiss and take a shower with. But if you don’t want to fuck and they really want to, then that’s not the person for you. You should find someone who’s more of a companion than a lover.

I’m a homebody, but my girlfriend is really social. She gets antsy whenever we’re hanging out at home one-on-one. This bothers me. What should we do?
I think there are two kinds of people: there are people that are homebodies, and there are people into the bar scene and having a million friends. You have to have an even balance — stay in a couple of nights and go out the other nights. If she doesn’t ever want to stay home and watch a movie, you’re kind of fucked.

Ursula Anvil, 22

Tell me about your pillow-fighter persona and how you use it in bed.
My pillow-fighter persona is a bad girl. When I lose a pillow fight, I totally lose it and get really mad and throw things around and ruin things. Same thing when I’m not being pleased in bed — I get angry then too. And that gets me what I want.

What’s your advice to someone who’s interested in playing rough in bed but doesn’t want to cross the line?
In my experience, it’s good to start with something a little more tame. Spank them on the bum, and if you keep stepping it up a bit and your partner isn’t saying stop, then take it further.

What can you tell about your opponent’s sexual proclivities from their pillow-fighting style?
The aggressive fighters are going to be more aggressive in bed, but the ones who are more about the show are the ones who’ll do over-the-top screaming orgasms.

How can I incorporate a pillow into sex?
I often find myself using the pillow as a safety device when my head is being banged against the headboard.

I want to fuck the guy I’m dating with a strap-on, but he freaks out if I bring it up. How can I talk him into it?
I used to work at a studio where we made adult toys, and you can get little bum dildos to start. Because if you go balls out the first time and stuff a fourteen-inch cock in his ass, it’s not going to feel nice at all.

I’m in love with someone who just got out of a long-term relationship. They say they need more time before getting emotionally involved with me. It’s been four months. How much longer should I wait?
If they’re telling you, “I’m not emotionally available,” that’s a big red flag. It’s not worth wasting your time. But everyone knows this is true: when you break up with somebody and you meet someone cuter, you get over your ex.

How do you keep sex hot in a long-term relationship?
By doing little things like sending them dirty emails at work so they’re thinking about it all day long, and leaving your panties on the door knob so when he gets home he immediately starts thinking about doing it.


Eiffel Power, 25

What are the three best uses of a pillow during sex?
Asphyxiation, pillow fighting and humping. Like, hump the pillow. The solo hump.

Can you tell me about your pillow-fighting persona and how you use it in bed?
In real life, I’m quieter, so my pillow-fighting persona is a little angrier and more forward. However, it translates into my real-life sexuality because I’m already pretty much a top in the bedroom. I definitely do it to you.

What can you tell about your opponent by the way she pillow fights?
You can tell who’s sexually repressed because they take it out on you in the fight.

I drink and do drugs, but the person I’m dating doesn’t and wants me to stop. I don’t want to. Are we doomed?
If you don’t want to stop doing drugs, don’t date that person. It’s a lifestyle — you’re going to disagree, and it’s going to cause anger.

I want to fuck the guy I’m dating with a strap-on, but he gets freaked out if I even bring it up. How can I talk him into it?
I can only speak to being done in the butt myself. At first I was resistant, but when you’re doing it and somebody just brings it on, you go for it. They start with their fingers, and you’re ready to go. You should definitely work up to the pony-tail butt plug because that is amazing.

I’m on anti-depressants that deflate my sex drive, but I still want to date. What should I do?
I would think that if you could warm me up a bit, then we could do it. If you go down on me, that’d be rad. Maybe try different anti-depressants because they’re all different. It could just be your body’s reaction to that specific chemical.

I’m a bisexual woman. Sometimes the women I date are jittery about my sexual history with men. How do I reassure them?
Actions speak louder than words. If you’re showing that you care for her and are being consistent in your actions, she’ll get over it with time.

Recently, I was fighting over the phone with my boyfriend and realized I was turned on and touching myself. What do you think that means?
I think it’s a distraction. When I’m on the phone, I fiddle with things a lot, and sometimes I totally do that [grabs tits]. You’re like, “Wow, this is boring,” and you just end up doing weird shit.

Vic Payback, 32

Can you tell me about your pillow-fighting persona and how you use it in bed?
My character is me, but blown up billboard-size. I’ve always been a slut, I’ve always fucked around and I love to sleep with anyone and everyone. If I’m being Vic Payback, well, I’d be snortin’ coke off his dick, sniffin’ poppers, fucking ow wow ow, downing cheap champagne and spankin’.

Snorting coke off his dick?
It’s hard, and you have to not mind wasting some.

I drink and do drugs, and the person I’m dating doesn’t and wants me to stop. I don’t want to. Are we doomed?
Yeah. If you’re a Satanist, you’re not going to date a Christian.

I’m a bisexual woman. Sometimes the women I date are jittery about my sexual history with men. How do I reassure them?
She’s got nothing to worry about. She’s not competing against dick. She’s got fingers. We’ve all got fingers. Just trim your nails baby, and start playing with that clit.

How do you keep sex hot in a long-term relationship?
I’ll put a porno on. I don’t even care if it’s Ron Jameson [sic], don’t care if it’s the grossest porn ever. Two minutes of it, and I’m ready to go.

I want to fuck the guy I’m dating with a strap-on, but he gets freaked out if I even bring it up. How can I talk him into it?
A dildo in your ass hurts. You’ve got to educate yourself and educate him. I’ve done the strap-on in the guy’s ass and it’s fucking fun. They lose their shit — but not in the bad way.  

Interviews by Elizabeth Cline and Catrinel Bartolomeu. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.


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©2007 Elizabeth Cline and Catrinel Bartolomeu & Nerve.com, Inc.