Sex Advice From Pot Growers

Q: Would you date someone who didn't smoke? A: Yeah. It doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!

By Libby Rumelt

Ray, 33

How does being a pot professional make you better in bed?
It makes you more relaxed. Smoking weed in general makes you more relaxed, so smoking weed and sex go hand in hand. Like music and candles.

Would you date someone who didn't smoke at all?
Yeah, I do now. Doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!

My girlfriend likes to get high before we have sex. At first, it was just at parties, but it's becoming apparent that she's dependent on weed for her orgasms. Is that a problem? I'd like her to quit, but don't know how to ask.
There’s no nice way to ask her that. He shouldn’t be asking her to do that! If that’s what it takes for you to get off, then what’s the problem? I don’t see an issue with it. He’s trying to infringe on your right to bust a nut. That’s un-American.

I'm constantly tempted to cheat on my boyfriend. It's not just attraction — I seriously want to fuck other guys. Should I open the relationship up or just be discreet about the extra-relational dick I'm getting?
I’d say be discreet, but at the same time that can be tricky, because if you get found out then you’re opening a whole can of worms. If you’ve got faith in your ability to keep it a secret, then keep it a secret. But if there’s a chance it might be exposed, then you have to be upfront.

My roommate tends to be loud in bed. How can I ask her to keep it down in a polite way?
Once again, I think that’s infringing. Don’t ask her to keep it down. How often is she having sex? Is that something she’s doing every day? If it’s not an everyday thing, then you can sleep on the nights she’s not doing it. And on the nights that she is, you can’t ask her to stop. You can’t infringe on the noises someone else makes. Just don’t do it.

I would like to make a sex tape with my longtime girlfriend. How can I convince her this is a good idea?
Don’t convince her it’s a good idea. Set up a secret nanny cam or some shit on the low and go that route. Otherwise, she’s not going to agree to that shit. If you’re asking advice on how to get your girl to make a sex tape, your girl is not going to want to make a sex tape.

I just started dating an older guy, and I like him a lot, but he's moving the relationship along more quickly than I'm comfortable with. Is this because he's older, or is it him? Are all older guys like this?
Of course it’s because he’s older. Depending on how old he is, he might not have long to live! I don’t know what the age range is, but older men like to move faster because they know more things than young guys do. They know what they want, and they see what they want. They’re like the old lions on top of the hill.

My girlfriend refuses to take responsibility for any of the problems in our troubled relationship. Every fight we have dissolves into a laundry list of all the things I'm doing wrong, but if I try to point out any of her flaws she starts crying and I feel bad, so we make up. How can I end this vicious cycle?
Dump her. What the fuck? How hard is it to dump her? Do you live together? Do you have joint bank accounts? If you’re not joined at the hip, then move on with your life.  Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t make you happy.

How can I convince my straight boyfriend to have a threesome with a guy? We've already done a threesome with another girl, and he promised he would do one with a guy, but now he's having second thoughts. How can I get him to follow through?
Oh, that’s not going to happen. Of course he agreed to whatever you asked him to do in order to get you to have the good threesome. To do the bad threesome, it’s not going to happen. I respect your boyfriend; I like his game.

Commentarium (58 Comments)

Apr 19 11 - 1:07am
lolwut

Ray was way off base with his advice on the threesome thing. Just throwing that out there. Dude in question never should've agreed to an MMF if he wasn't prepared to follow through, that's just bad manners.

Apr 19 11 - 8:22am
jaycee

Ray was generally off base on his advice. Wonderfully, hilariously off base.

Apr 19 11 - 12:02pm
aa

ray was my favourite advice. not the best advice but definitely funny and real.

Apr 19 11 - 2:17pm
nope

I like that you pointed that out, but not how incredibly shady it would be to set up a hidden camera to catch you and your partner having sex without one person knowing.

That said, Ray was hilarious.

Apr 19 11 - 5:08pm
l..

I don't know, Ray's advice on the girlfriend who refuses to take responsibility is kind of refreshing, and reminds me of that Louis CK bit about single people (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guf0kNV7D1w)

Apr 19 11 - 7:16pm
src

Whatever you do, don't infringe.

Apr 19 11 - 3:09am
kb

I want to be frolicking naked with Eric in that picture right now, instead of sitting behind a desk

Apr 19 11 - 3:37am
FuckYou

I gotta say say, these people and there responses make me not want to see weed legalized even more.

Apr 20 11 - 12:34am
DickStroker

I agree man

Apr 20 11 - 8:02pm
Me

See, I assumed that the reason you didn't know the difference between "there" and "their" was because you were high. My mistake.

Apr 19 11 - 3:39am
FuckYou

Although I must say, I too hate white people with dreadlocks. The white man was not meant to rock that look.

Apr 22 11 - 12:25pm
Bux

When I read "dreadlocks and pitbulls" I laughed out loud alone in my living room. That's 1/4 of my neighborhood. But we got good weed here!

Apr 23 11 - 4:01am
**

hey now, i get a lot of compliments on my dreadlocks. espec from black ladies in the bar. (im a white chick.) haha

Apr 19 11 - 6:44am
lezley

you will probably make less of a mess of your life following Ray's advice than some prostitute from Montreal's. just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there, kids.

Apr 19 11 - 7:53am
Kahloe

I think the problem with the girl needing weed to orgasm is that long term use does serious damage to the body.lets say she has fairly active sex-life(like idk 3/4 times a week)then she's using that many times in order to orgasm, her dependence will increase . If you do the math it's not a pretty answer.

Apr 19 11 - 9:58am
neal

Doing the math is great and all but let's talk about science. Can you show me any evidence at all that regular marijuana use causes any damage or dependence? I;ll save you the time: there is none. Please do some research before you spread totally false information around as fact.

Apr 19 11 - 11:04am
Stupid

I wouldn't bother, Kahloe. Addicts need to hit rock bottom to see the truth.

Apr 19 11 - 8:16pm
Everyone knows

at least one pot user that is as dull as a doorknob. Science may the eventual key to legalization/ decriminalization/whatever federally, however, the mass population of real life bakeheads are more than sufficient in keeping most people off it.

Apr 20 11 - 8:05pm
Me

Yes, I know dumb stoners - but I knew them before they were stoners and they were just as dumb. I know lawyers and doctors that burn (weekends!) and a lot of very normal and successful people that you would never think were smokers.

Neal is right. There is no evidence that regular marijuana use causes damage or dependence. Do your research.

Apr 25 11 - 11:48am
Flex

So true, Kahloe. Add to that the people who need a glass of wine to relax before sex. That alcohol shit is known to be addictive. Not to mention how it messes up your liver, causes car accidents, birth defects, etc. Girl wants a drink before sex, run!

Apr 19 11 - 9:50am
cc

i like ray. he keeps it real. i think he's the only one being really honest here. mk is sweetly naive.

Apr 19 11 - 10:47am
......

Ray has the most realistic answers I've heard on this website....Mk is crazy hot, with alright advice....eric is a cool dude

Apr 19 11 - 5:22pm
yep

MK *IS* crazy hot. discuss:

Apr 19 11 - 11:03am
Stupid

To think these people will likely reproduce makes me sad.

Apr 19 11 - 8:18pm
These fucktards

scare me to the core. Horrific. I'm gonna snap if I hear one more asshole advocate for legalization. Are you kidding me?

Apr 23 11 - 3:59am
**

wtf man. im gonna snap if i hear one more straight-laced, capitalist douchebag teach his kids that affection i only shown through money. pot is WAY less harmful to society than alcohol, so chill the eff out, take a rip, and spread the love.

Apr 19 11 - 1:52pm
sylvia

MK had the best advice about high sex. what she said was totally right.

Apr 19 11 - 2:12pm
Jennifer

MK looks like my long lost twin. I'm a little unnerved. Though, I guess big sunglasses can be misleading...

Apr 19 11 - 3:16pm
hkc

I mean...Ray is a low life, right? I'm not imagining that. He thinks it would be cool to secretly record one's long term girlfriend having sex, and he "respects" the dude who's now refusing to have a threesome (with a strong homophobe tone, no less.) Ray is a fucking sociopath.

Apr 19 11 - 4:18pm
.....

welcome to the mainstream hkc...nice for you to finally show up

Apr 19 11 - 4:06pm
Edward SF

If a boyfriend promises a MMF 3-way if she does a MFF 3-way and then he renegs, well, that's grounds for dumping his ass on the spot. It's also a good reminder to all women: make sure you do the MMF 3-way first!

Apr 22 11 - 12:29pm
Bux

I think the real solution is to not use bartering in your sex life. People in a relationship--monogamous or not--should do what they feel comfortable doing sexually. Not perform acts for reciprocity. If you're both into it, fine. But if one of you isn't into it, why barter and push someone into being uncomfortable sexually? That's the real red flag.

Apr 19 11 - 6:09pm
lessthan

There are a lot of comments on Eric's looks, but the picture is blurry for me. Did the pic get edited?

Apr 19 11 - 8:19pm
These

are pot growers, honey.

Apr 19 11 - 9:26pm
lessthan

So? i was under the impression that it is legal to grow pot in Cali?

Apr 19 11 - 7:17pm
src

"Sucking nipples and dry humping are funny when you look at them objectively." +10!

May 10 11 - 11:17am
@

hahahah
i loe reay

Apr 20 11 - 12:51pm
CM

Your advice on the sex tape was fucked up, Ray. Taking a tape like that of a girl secretly is wrong on so many fucking levels, and a total violation of her body, her trust, and her respect.

Apr 20 11 - 1:53pm
Squelch

I think his point was that if you have to ask, then the answer is no--the camera scenario was a joke, akin to "when pigs fly." Ray was hilarious.

Apr 20 11 - 4:09pm
Annie

I dunno about other states, but in my state it's also illegal to make a recording of someone without their knowledge. Way fucked up.

Apr 20 11 - 8:07pm
Me

Totally illegal and totally fucked up.

Apr 22 11 - 9:12pm
Kevin

Apr 19 11 at 3:39 am
FuckYou

Although I must say, I too hate white people with dreadlocks. The white man was not meant to rock that look. As opposed to the white man? They look stupid on both.

Apr 24 11 - 12:13am
Shayna

MK is so sexy.

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