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Sex Advice From Pot Growers
Q: Would you date someone who didn't smoke? A: Yeah. It doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!
By Libby Rumelt
How does being a pot professional make you better in bed?
It makes you more relaxed. Smoking weed in general makes you more relaxed, so smoking weed and sex go hand in hand. Like music and candles.
Would you date someone who didn't smoke at all?
Yeah, I do now. Doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!
My girlfriend likes to get high before we have sex. At first, it was just at parties, but it's becoming apparent that she's dependent on weed for her orgasms. Is that a problem? I'd like her to quit, but don't know how to ask.
There’s no nice way to ask her that. He shouldn’t be asking her to do that! If that’s what it takes for you to get off, then what’s the problem? I don’t see an issue with it. He’s trying to infringe on your right to bust a nut. That’s un-American.
I'm constantly tempted to cheat on my boyfriend. It's not just attraction — I seriously want to fuck other guys. Should I open the relationship up or just be discreet about the extra-relational dick I'm getting?
I’d say be discreet, but at the same time that can be tricky, because if you get found out then you’re opening a whole can of worms. If you’ve got faith in your ability to keep it a secret, then keep it a secret. But if there’s a chance it might be exposed, then you have to be upfront.
My roommate tends to be loud in bed. How can I ask her to keep it down in a polite way?
Once again, I think that’s infringing. Don’t ask her to keep it down. How often is she having sex? Is that something she’s doing every day? If it’s not an everyday thing, then you can sleep on the nights she’s not doing it. And on the nights that she is, you can’t ask her to stop. You can’t infringe on the noises someone else makes. Just don’t do it.
I would like to make a sex tape with my longtime girlfriend. How can I convince her this is a good idea?
Don’t convince her it’s a good idea. Set up a secret nanny cam or some shit on the low and go that route. Otherwise, she’s not going to agree to that shit. If you’re asking advice on how to get your girl to make a sex tape, your girl is not going to want to make a sex tape.
I just started dating an older guy, and I like him a lot, but he's moving the relationship along more quickly than I'm comfortable with. Is this because he's older, or is it him? Are all older guys like this?
Of course it’s because he’s older. Depending on how old he is, he might not have long to live! I don’t know what the age range is, but older men like to move faster because they know more things than young guys do. They know what they want, and they see what they want. They’re like the old lions on top of the hill.
My girlfriend refuses to take responsibility for any of the problems in our troubled relationship. Every fight we have dissolves into a laundry list of all the things I'm doing wrong, but if I try to point out any of her flaws she starts crying and I feel bad, so we make up. How can I end this vicious cycle?
Dump her. What the fuck? How hard is it to dump her? Do you live together? Do you have joint bank accounts? If you’re not joined at the hip, then move on with your life. Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t make you happy.
How can I convince my straight boyfriend to have a threesome with a guy? We've already done a threesome with another girl, and he promised he would do one with a guy, but now he's having second thoughts. How can I get him to follow through?
Oh, that’s not going to happen. Of course he agreed to whatever you asked him to do in order to get you to have the good threesome. To do the bad threesome, it’s not going to happen. I respect your boyfriend; I like his game.