Advice

Sex Advice From Pot Growers

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Q: Would you date someone who didn't smoke? A: Yeah. It doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!

Ray, 33

How does being a pot professional make you better in bed?
It makes you more relaxed. Smoking weed in general makes you more relaxed, so smoking weed and sex go hand in hand. Like music and candles.

Would you date someone who didn't smoke at all?
Yeah, I do now. Doesn’t bother me. There’s more weed for me!

My girlfriend likes to get high before we have sex. At first, it was just at parties, but it's becoming apparent that she's dependent on weed for her orgasms. Is that a problem? I'd like her to quit, but don't know how to ask.
There’s no nice way to ask her that. He shouldn’t be asking her to do that! If that’s what it takes for you to get off, then what’s the problem? I don’t see an issue with it. He’s trying to infringe on your right to bust a nut. That’s un-American.

I'm constantly tempted to cheat on my boyfriend. It's not just attraction — I seriously want to fuck other guys. Should I open the relationship up or just be discreet about the extra-relational dick I'm getting?
I’d say be discreet, but at the same time that can be tricky, because if you get found out then you’re opening a whole can of worms. If you’ve got faith in your ability to keep it a secret, then keep it a secret. But if there’s a chance it might be exposed, then you have to be upfront.

My roommate tends to be loud in bed. How can I ask her to keep it down in a polite way?
Once again, I think that’s infringing. Don’t ask her to keep it down. How often is she having sex? Is that something she’s doing every day? If it’s not an everyday thing, then you can sleep on the nights she’s not doing it. And on the nights that she is, you can’t ask her to stop. You can’t infringe on the noises someone else makes. Just don’t do it.

I would like to make a sex tape with my longtime girlfriend. How can I convince her this is a good idea?
Don’t convince her it’s a good idea. Set up a secret nanny cam or some shit on the low and go that route. Otherwise, she’s not going to agree to that shit. If you’re asking advice on how to get your girl to make a sex tape, your girl is not going to want to make a sex tape.

I just started dating an older guy, and I like him a lot, but he's moving the relationship along more quickly than I'm comfortable with. Is this because he's older, or is it him? Are all older guys like this?
Of course it’s because he’s older. Depending on how old he is, he might not have long to live! I don’t know what the age range is, but older men like to move faster because they know more things than young guys do. They know what they want, and they see what they want. They’re like the old lions on top of the hill.

My girlfriend refuses to take responsibility for any of the problems in our troubled relationship. Every fight we have dissolves into a laundry list of all the things I'm doing wrong, but if I try to point out any of her flaws she starts crying and I feel bad, so we make up. How can I end this vicious cycle?
Dump her. What the fuck? How hard is it to dump her? Do you live together? Do you have joint bank accounts? If you’re not joined at the hip, then move on with your life.  Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t make you happy.

How can I convince my straight boyfriend to have a threesome with a guy? We've already done a threesome with another girl, and he promised he would do one with a guy, but now he's having second thoughts. How can I get him to follow through?
Oh, that’s not going to happen. Of course he agreed to whatever you asked him to do in order to get you to have the good threesome. To do the bad threesome, it’s not going to happen. I respect your boyfriend; I like his game.

MK, 23

How does being a pot professional make you better in bed?
There is something a little bit thrilling and, well, magical about working with weed. When I was on the farm I did things I never thought I would be doing. I also did men I never thought I would be doing. I had some of the most exciting sex of my life.

Would you date someone who didn't smoke at all?
I actually prefer dating non-smokers now. I don't have a problem seeing men who smoke weed if it does them the right way. I actually quit smoking weed when I was working on the farm for many reasons, but mostly because it stopped doing me the right way; what we were growing was quite potent compared to the East Coast schwag I was used to. It made me crazy. I still have a passion for it though, and it really does help a lot of people out. But it’s not for everyone.

Do you think 4/20 is for amateurs or a real holiday that should be celebrated accordingly?
I think 4/20 means different things for different people. A lot of people see it as a day to smoke a lot of weed and neglect responsibilities. That’s cool. Others are using it to fight for the emancipation of marijuana, for therapeutic reasons and because it's a versatile resource. I think if one is passionate about it, then celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.

Do you consider pot a prerequisite for great sex, or an obstacle?
I've enjoyed sex after a light up. But there is something very real and intimate about completely sober sex, and that's what I'm about. It depends on what you are looking for when you're doing it. It's that raw connection and vulnerability that can make sex really exciting. When I'm high, it sort of guards that vulnerability and sex becomes a little more selfish. When sex is just about physical feelings, the act is less thrilling for me. 

I'm constantly tempted to cheat on my boyfriend. It's not just attraction — I seriously want to fuck other guys. Should I open the relationship up or just be discreet about the extra-relational dick I'm getting?
I'm going to start off by saying, “No!” You should not sneak in dick behind your boyfriend's back. Instead, ask yourself what is it that you are not getting from him that makes you want to get it elsewhere. This is a conversation you need to have with him. It’s going to get real, and it will probably get really awkward. Cheating is only going to compromise your relationship. Maybe you just need to change up the sex you are having with him — do it in different places, positions, talk about what you like and what you want. You might be surprised with the dirty things he wants to do with you. Or, perhaps you just need to be single. If you two do agree upon being in an open relationship, just consider that gives him the freedom to roam for pussy as well and be extra cautious of all the foreign genitals in play here.

I would like to make a sex tape with my longtime girlfriend. How can I convince her this is a good idea?
It's completely a matter of trust. She needs to be able to know that you're not going to misuse the material in anyway she is uncomfortable with if you break up. How will it be used? Who will have copies? When will it be watched? What happens if you have a bad fight? A lot of things need to be discussed. Then it's just a matter of convincing her how sexy it will be to be able to capture and re-watch your special time.

I just started dating an older guy, and I like him a lot, but he's moving the relationship along more quickly than I'm comfortable with. Is this because he's older, or is it him? Are all older guys like this?
It could be because he is older, but all men are different. I dated someone sixteen-years older than me and he had the maturity of a sixteen-year old. So no, not all older guys are like this. Perhaps this guy is more confident in what he wants out of a relationship. Give him reminders of where you are at with everything.

How can I convince my straight boyfriend to have a threesome with a guy? We've already done a threesome with another girl, and he promised he would do one with a guy but now he's having second thoughts. How can I get him to follow through?
The last thing you want is an uncomfortable threesome. Believe me, I know. Ask him if he could choose any boy he would be comfortable with seeing naked and potentially inside his girlfriend and/or himself, what type of man it would be, and go from there. Sometimes threesomes are a lot sexier in theory (and in porn) than in real life. There are a lot of emotions and jealousy that can potentially come into play, and it takes a really secure man to be in bed with another dude. He needs to be completely comfortable with the idea before it goes down, and even still, things can get tricky.

Eric, 25

How does being a pot professional make you better in bed?
I can’t say that I have noticed a correlation, although there is a certain stigma that goes along with the outlaw life that chicks totally dig! Girls hate being on pot farms though.

Would you date someone who didn't smoke at all?
No. I also would not date someone who burned all the time. Stoners are annoying

Do you think 4/20 is for amateurs or a real holiday that should be celebrated accordingly?
Burners will find any excuse to get lit. The ones who celebrate 4/20 are the kinds of stoners that piss me off. You know, white people with dreadlocks and pit bulls. I hate white people with dreadlocks.

Do you consider pot a prerequisite for great sex, or an obstacle?
It’s an obstacle generally. I tend to get pretty self-aware when I get lit up. Self-awareness is awkward when you’re trying to act sexy. Sucking nipples and dry humping are funny when you look at them objectively.

My girlfriend likes to get high before we have sex. At first, it was just at parties, but it's becoming apparent that she's dependent on weed for her orgasms. Is that a problem? I'd like her to quit, but don't know how to ask.
It’s all good. Just suggest she smokes a sativa strain like chemdawg before you bone so she doesn't fall asleep. Some people have to use Viagra or penis pumps before they have sex; there’s no big difference here. It seems like there is some sort of deeper problem here that might be too hard to diagnose if your girlfriend is a stoner. Stoners are lazy by nature.

My roommate tends to be loud in bed. How can I ask her to keep it down in a polite way?
I always find that passive aggressiveness is the easiest way to avoid an awkward situation. I would try leaving post-it notes on her stuff. They would say, "Oh no, I don’t care about my roommates enough to not have sex all the time, loud sex just to let everyone know how much sex I have because I’m the prettiest and everyone talks to me at the bar and my roommates never get any play."  Or just send her an e-mail and try to avoid her for a few days.

I just started dating an older guy, and I like him a lot, but he's moving the relationship along more quickly than I'm comfortable with. Is this because he's older, or is it him? Are all older guys like this?
It sounds like your silver fox's biological clock is ticking. Old dudes love young girls. You have the upper hand here, so slow it down. He's no spring chicken; he will wait.