Advice

Sex Advice From . . . Psychics

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 REGULARS

Tina, 53

Can you tell that sex is going to be bad before it happens?
Always.

If someone asks you about their sex life and you see a miserable, sexless future, do you tell them?
Oh, I would tell them even if they had cancer. It’s my job.

Is it helpful or hurtful for people to know the future of their sex lives?
I think it’s helpful. They’ve made these great pills that really do great wonders.

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What’s the most difficult but rewarding position?
I like being on top, always.

And that’s difficult but rewarding?
Yeah. Because most men like being on top, you know?

What’s the sexiest way to tell a guy that I want to be dominated in bed?
Put napkins all over the floor, then put on high heels and walk around, bending down and picking things up. I find that works.

I’m in the middle of a sexual nuclear winter, but I’m desperate for some loving. What should I do?
You’ll have to masturbate sooner or later.

But I want sex.
You’ve gotta go out and find what you want! I mean, he isn’t just going to knock on your door and come on in. You’ve gotta go out. And I don’t just mean nightclubs, I mean libraries, supermarkets, exercise clubs; you’ll find better people, less scary. That’s my advice to both men and women.

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or is there potential for reform?
No, once a cheater, always a cheater. They can’t help it. Those are men that feel very insecure. Even if they don’t love this other person, they find it very hard to stay with one person. They have to go for other women. They will not eat pork chops forever. They have to have steak, pork fried rice, egg foo yong, whatever turns their thing on. The wife is always the steak. They will always come back to their wife. It’s like the mob. It’s just a thing men do. But lately it’s becoming a girl thing too. I agree with it. What’s good for the gander is good for the goose.

Destiny, 35

Can you tell sex is going to be bad before it happens?
You can’t really tell until you’re there. I recommend that people get to know each other as people first before getting into the hot passion stuff.

If you’re having bad sex, how can you turn it around mid-session?

If anything hurts, say to your partner, “Please stop, that hurts.” Sex is not supposed to be painful. If you like what your partner is doing, but maybe you need it a little softer or harder or faster, you can say, “Ooh, I really like what you’re doing, but if you could do it a little softer I think it could take me to the next level.” Always give praise if they’re doing something right and then help them along a little bit. One thing you don’t want to do is "right, left, forward." Don’t order the person around. Then it’s not fun anymore. Just be gentle and positive when giving constructive criticism.

Is it helpful for people to know the future of their sex lives?
I don’t believe in finalities when we’re in relationships. I believe a relationship is like clay — we mold it and work on it. If it’s not going so well, that means further work needs to be done in the relationship. If there’s no chemistry there in the first place, there’s a little bit of a problem. But if you turn each other on, you can learn techniques, just as you can learn the tango and the foxtrot.

Which, if any, article of clothing should be left on during sex?
The French always leave something on. I would say black thigh-high stockings and high heels. That’s really sexy.

I’m in the midst of a sexual nuclear winter and I’m desperate for some loving. What should I do?
Sounds like it’s more of an emotional issue than a sexual issue. Something inside this woman is holding her back from finding a partner. I say to get a vibrator and take care of herself, please herself, get to know her body, dress sexy for herself. Go out there and enjoy flirting and slowly get back in the game. I think sometimes sexual dry spells are good because we can go inside ourselves and re-evaluate what worked for us before, what didn’t work, and what we want now.

I’ve met a hot guy who doesn’t speak my language. How do I invite him home?
Draw a little picture of your house with your name and his name and a little heart and he’ll get the picture, all right. [laughs]

Can you have a working romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t speak your language?
Well, I don’t see why not. You’ll teach him a few words of English and he’ll teach you a few words of whatever. Chemistry is chemistry. Language can be learned. I would say go for it. Explore! You won’t be talking that much anyway. [laughs]

You can visit Destiny’s website at www.destiny-psychic.com

Noni Rose, 40

When is it okay to break up with someone over the phone?
Only if they’ve been violent or threatening.

Can you tell sex is going to be bad before it happens?
Yes, though I have been surprised. What are some of the warning signs? Lack of magnetic pull to the person, lack of imaginative abandon.

If you’re having bad sex, how can you turn it around mid-session?
Start singing or do something else a bit offbeat and surprising. Try moaning as though it was actually good sex.

My girlfriend has been acting weird lately. I think she knows I’m cheating on her. What should I do?
Go to a psychic and ask if she knows you’re cheating on her.

How can you tell when a relationship is at its end?
Are you happy when you’re with that person? Do you feel that you’re your best self with that person? Does that person know you? Do you feel estranged? Do you feel not valued and not known?

I’m in the midst of a sexual desert. How can I tell when my dry spell will end and I’ll get some action?
Go to a psychic and ask that question.

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or is there potential for reform?

There’s potential for reform. Maybe slim potential, but potential.

So if you’re about to get into a relationship with someone who you know is a cheater, do you address it beforehand?

I think you should. Cards on the table.

I met a hot guy who doesn’t speak my language. How do I invite him home?

I did that once many years ago. I spoke to him in English, and he understood.

Body language?
Well, he understood, “If you need a place to stay, call me. Here’s my phone number.”

For an appointment, email nonirose@earthlink.net.

Carmen Harra, Ph.D., 49

Can you tell that sex is going to be bad before it happens?
My specialty is karma, and my first book was about karmic relationships. Those involve signals of the brain in terms of two people meeting at the first sight. It’s not a 100 percent guarantee, but the first instinct tells you if this gonna be good physically or not.

So trust your instincts?
The instinct is very powerful. You immediately feel the attraction, or you don’t! If you don’t, you don’t. That’s what people don’t understand. Sometimes they get trapped into believing, “If I wait and wait, probably that will improve.” It most cases, it won’t.

So if you’re having bad sex, you just have to try and figure out exactly what’s going on —
Yeah, go and analyze yourself. It’s a natural act, but don’t just go in there without knowing what you’re doing. Be in control and aware that this is a process that’s more complex than you think.

Otherwise, it can feel empty, huh?
Like, “Ohmygod, what have I done?” Sex should make you fly. It should make you feel so fulfilled and so excited. It’s almost like giving birth to you. It goes to the deeper core of you — it should pull all of you together. It is designed not only for procreation. We have sex because it completes the circle of life, like you’re half of a sphere and you meet the other part that complements you perfectly. And you create that perfect circle of life that moves life. To feel the completion, you have to have the great sex.

This question is from a guy. My girlfriend has been acting weird lately. I think that she knows I am cheating on her because she’s been acting upset. When I ask her what’s wrong, she says she’s okay and nothing is wrong. What should I do?
Well, she’s repressing feelings. That is very damaging. It’s blocking the sex from being good. This man must ask if anybody ever cheated on her before. He has to say, “Hey, have you ever been betrayed before? Have you ever seen that in your family? Was your mother betrayed by your father?”


Which is more important — the g-spot or the clitoris?

[long silence; sigh] I can’t tell. [more long silence]

You can’t tell?
No.

Why not?
It doesn’t come to me. I don’t know why.

I orgasm more quickly than my boyfriend. How can we can finish together?
Put the mind to work. Think that you want to prolong the pleasure. Escape from the physical in that moment and think of something else, the daily routine of going to work. If you shift the mind one second, you’re not relaxing to create the orgasm, and you can delay the process. It’s like you fall asleep and all of a sudden, your mind says, “No, I left my water boiling somewhere,” and then you wake up.

You can visit Carmen’s website at www.carmenharra.com.

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