Sex Advice From Psychics

"I have this vision of two people sitting on each other's laps, face to face."

 By Colette McIntyre

Paul, 39

Paul's Yelp Page

So, how long have you been doing this?
To be honest, I’ve always had the gift of intuition — it’s part of the family. Both of my grandmothers had the gift and I think that’s why it’s so strong in me and my sister. Friends of mine kept saying, “Why don’t you advertise?” and I was like “Should I? I don’t know.” It’s been overwhelming; I’ve been so wonderfully surprised. 

Do you think your gift helps you in relationships at all?
It can. It will let me know if it’s right or not. I have a good idea whether this is right, or if it’s going to work or not.

That’s interesting! Have you ever been on a first date and automatically you think —
“No, this isn’t going to work?” Oh yeah. I think it’s as soon as I meet you, I’m going to know. If people come to see me and I feel something's not right, I won't allow them into my house.

Have you ever been hit on by someone who came in for a reading?
Well, I’ve had some. Yeah, you get these eyes and you get that feeling. But I always try to keep it at a professional level [laughs].

Well, if someone does want to pick up a psychic, do you have any tips?
I don’t know — because I would always keep that separate. I think it might get complicated.

The other night, I was having sex with my girlfriend and I called out the wrong name in bed. I tried to tell her that it didn’t mean anything but now she won’t talk to me. She’s convinced I’m cheating. What do I do to ease the tension?
You know what? You’ve been out in the world that whole day and had all these names in your head.  So, I would always say, firstly — I know the person that’s hearing it would be a bit freaked out by it — but I don't think they should come to a judgment immediately. To me, a name is a word. It’s not an emotion. I would look in the emotion more than the word. As a psychic, I'd be more interested in the energy and emotion of the word than the word itself.

I'm interested in exploring a pretty weird fetish with my partner. How do I broach that subject for the first time?
I'd start with a light variation of the fetish, and then, from there, if the person starts to feel it and enjoy it, say “Let’s go to the next thing” and so forth. A lot of people are afraid to try things because it feels "taboo" or "wrong." Try it! If you don’t like it, fair enough, go ahead, but you can’t judge it until you’ve tried it.

During sex, if I begin to touch myself, my boyfriend gets noticeably huffy. For some reason, he takes the fact that my hand is down there really personally. The same with my vibrators — he's constantly trying to get me to throw them out, acting jealous and telling me that he should be enough. How can I get him to relax?
Generally with women, a lot of times, penetration isn't enough. If he's feeling threatened — which is understandable — she should explain that to him. If he doesn't believe it or he thinks it's because he isn't enough for her, he needs to do some research. Then, she should teach him how to stimulate her while they're having sex.

Bring in the toys?
Exactly. Use your hands! Don’t just use your penis!

That's great advice in any context.

Commentarium (30 Comments)

Oct 26 11 - 1:51am
Penn

More like sex advice from opportunistic scumbag lying charlatans who prey on the weak.

Oct 26 11 - 2:39am
Teller

(emphatically nods)

Oct 26 11 - 10:57am
Randi

Couldn't have said it better.

Oct 26 11 - 2:00pm
LD

Wow. Someone's angry.

Oct 26 11 - 2:11pm
Wow

Do you go home and kick the dog too?

Oct 26 11 - 3:39pm
Shep

Penn has a point, yet weak people will always be preyed upon by OSLC's. The advertising industry would not exist without weak people. I mean, who really believes that buying a particular car/smartphone/jacket will make them cool? The weak - that's who. I'm digressing a little, but psychics are selling something everyone wants and few know how to find - reassurance in an uncertain world.

Oct 27 11 - 2:00pm
eva

Is it a combo car/smartphone / jacket? Cause that sounds awesome.

Oct 27 11 - 2:45pm
Kel

I don't know who I feel sorrier for, the people who listen to and pay "psychics" or the handful of these frauds who genuinely believe that they have paranormal powers.

Oct 28 11 - 12:06am
huh

I feel more sorry for the people stupid enough to believe that there is nothing else in our world besides what we see.

Oct 26 11 - 9:03am
moops

I went to a psychic once who told me that I would move to Arizona and marry a Chinese woman. I ended up doing the opposite: I moved to Massachusetts and married and Irish man (Irish is the opposite of Chinese, right?)

Oct 27 11 - 12:01am
Sade

No, I believe the opposite of Chinese would be Nigerian.

Oct 26 11 - 1:12pm
miscreant

he looks a bit like Butthead

Oct 26 11 - 1:20pm
moops

I want to see sex advice from phrenologists. "My boyfriend has a slight bump on the right side of his head, what does that mean?" "It means he is a no-good cheater of base character."

Oct 26 11 - 2:46pm
faulknersaysrelax

Sex Advice From Alchemists.

Oct 26 11 - 5:48pm
dave1976

Sex advise from water diviners.

Oct 26 11 - 5:49pm
dave1976

advice. woops.

Oct 26 11 - 8:18pm
nope

Sex Advice From Ouiji Boards.

Oct 26 11 - 7:58pm
danus

Loved the astrologer position comeback. Stars are sexy.

Oct 26 11 - 8:19pm
J

What difference does it make whether the advice giver is indoctrinated in astrology, mysticism, Buddhism, Lacanianism, etc. if the advice receiver believes she or he benefits? Merely having a well disposed person listen and respond may be worth a fee to many. The advice that people should be kind to each other and to themselves is pretty universal, but many people benefit from hearing it again and again. If an astrologer or a Joel Osteen brings a sense of hope and purpose to people who are feeling beaten up, I'm fine with it. I know that what I'm writing right now is insipid, but sometimes originality and cleverness are not what people need.

Oct 26 11 - 10:11pm
HH

Because "psychics" take advantage of grieving people and take their money in exchange for the lie that it will allow them to talk to their dead loved ones. That doesn't give hope, it prevents people from moving on with their lives and cripples them financially in the process.

Oct 27 11 - 3:13am
Hrmmm

Yes, some bad ones do, HH. Some bad doctors also kill people. There are also the ones who just try to help people. Imagine that. Positive forces out there in the world somewhere. Oh, the shock and horror.

Oct 27 11 - 7:10am
moops

Psychics can in no way be compared to doctors.

Oct 27 11 - 2:48pm
Kel

First time I've ever seen someone try to validate an argument by using Joel Osteen as an example.

Oct 27 11 - 4:14am
l

Misread as physicists. Disappointed.

Oct 27 11 - 5:01pm
o

me too...on both accounts

Oct 29 11 - 2:18pm
beth

exactly

Oct 27 11 - 7:28am
Katie

I think she's awesome and beautiful (=

Oct 27 11 - 8:55pm
BusterKeaton

Shouldn't they have been able to give the answers before the questions were even asked? Didn't they know I was going to ask that??

Nov 01 11 - 5:46pm
Jinna

Touche!

Nov 09 11 - 11:04pm
Positivelife

These comments really test my faith in mankind.Stop being so narrow minded. As all doctors are not the same nor are psychic.Give them the benefit of the doubt.Stop all this paranoia that exists in the world today. It is a article, not life or death. I have had wonderful experiences with real psychic's.
No matter how wonderful life is there are always the Debbie downers as we have experienced in the comments above. Get a life, downers!!!