"I have this vision of two people sitting on each other's laps, face to face."
So, how long have you been doing this?
To be honest, I’ve always had the gift of intuition — it’s part of the family. Both of my grandmothers had the gift and I think that’s why it’s so strong in me and my sister. Friends of mine kept saying, “Why don’t you advertise?” and I was like “Should I? I don’t know.” It’s been overwhelming; I’ve been so wonderfully surprised.
Do you think your gift helps you in relationships at all?
It can. It will let me know if it’s right or not. I have a good idea whether this is right, or if it’s going to work or not.
That’s interesting! Have you ever been on a first date and automatically you think —
“No, this isn’t going to work?” Oh yeah. I think it’s as soon as I meet you, I’m going to know. If people come to see me and I feel something's not right, I won't allow them into my house.
Have you ever been hit on by someone who came in for a reading?
Well, I’ve had some. Yeah, you get these eyes and you get that feeling. But I always try to keep it at a professional level [laughs].
Well, if someone does want to pick up a psychic, do you have any tips?
I don’t know — because I would always keep that separate. I think it might get complicated.
The other night, I was having sex with my girlfriend and I called out the wrong name in bed. I tried to tell her that it didn’t mean anything but now she won’t talk to me. She’s convinced I’m cheating. What do I do to ease the tension?
You know what? You’ve been out in the world that whole day and had all these names in your head. So, I would always say, firstly — I know the person that’s hearing it would be a bit freaked out by it — but I don't think they should come to a judgment immediately. To me, a name is a word. It’s not an emotion. I would look in the emotion more than the word. As a psychic, I'd be more interested in the energy and emotion of the word than the word itself.
I'm interested in exploring a pretty weird fetish with my partner. How do I broach that subject for the first time?
I'd start with a light variation of the fetish, and then, from there, if the person starts to feel it and enjoy it, say “Let’s go to the next thing” and so forth. A lot of people are afraid to try things because it feels "taboo" or "wrong." Try it! If you don’t like it, fair enough, go ahead, but you can’t judge it until you’ve tried it.
During sex, if I begin to touch myself, my boyfriend gets noticeably huffy. For some reason, he takes the fact that my hand is down there really personally. The same with my vibrators — he's constantly trying to get me to throw them out, acting jealous and telling me that he should be enough. How can I get him to relax?
Generally with women, a lot of times, penetration isn't enough. If he's feeling threatened — which is understandable — she should explain that to him. If he doesn't believe it or he thinks it's because he isn't enough for her, he needs to do some research. Then, she should teach him how to stimulate her while they're having sex.
Bring in the toys?
Exactly. Use your hands! Don’t just use your penis!
That's great advice in any context.
How long have you been working as an astrologer professionally?
I really only started putting myself out there professionally when I got to New York. Four years ago, I’d say. I started actually doing charts when I was thirteen. I’ve been doing this for thirty years or so — I started learning when I was seven, from my mom, who is an astrologer in L.A.
I imagine that readings get really personal — have you ever been hit on by a customer?
No, I haven’t, unless I’m already dating them. Then, yes.
Would you ever date a client, who, somewhere along the line, fell for you and told you, “Hey, Astrobabe… you really are a babe?”
It depends. I actually have had that happen before — you kind of get the feeling that someone likes you and then that they know that you know. If I really think that someone is cool and a nice person and I sort of know them already, I might. But I don’t know if that would happen now, because I now do my readings over the phone.
If “The Astrologer” were a sex position, what do you think that would be?
Okay, well, you would have to be on your back because you would be looking at the stars. I’m assuming that you’d want to see everything.
I had sex with my girlfriend in her mother’s house and I am certain that her mother heard us. Things have been tense ever since and she won’t even look me in the eye. Should I apologize? Should I get my girlfriend to do it? Or should we all just ignore it until it blows over?
Don't fool around at the house anymore, because it's obviously making Mom feel really uncomfortable and it's her house. I think you should just go out of your way to be extra-nice to the mom. Let her know that you're a mature, nice person.
Any last words?
Be kind to each other.
How long have you been working as a psychic?
I think it’s normal for sixteen-year-old girls or eighteen-year-old girls to buy a tarot deck or a rune deck or something and just start playing with it. So, when I was sixteen, I bought a tarot deck, and I found it really fascinating — it spoke to me.
Would you say that your psychic abilities have helped you in relationships?
Me personally? Once — I’ve been married a long time — once my husband came home and I just looked at him and I said, “Did you get a speeding ticket?” and he said, “How did you know?” I looked at him and I laughed and said, “You could never have an affair.” He said, “Yeah!”
Have you ever been hit on by a customer?
Sure! Why not? Male and female.
What do you do in those situations?
You know, these conversations are really intimate, so people kind of feel that they know me. But if they ask me to go out for a drink, I tell them my family is expecting me.
Would you be surprised if there was some sort of psychic fetish?
[Laughs] I’m not surprised. There are many fetishes in this world — that's just not one that speaks to me.
If “The Tarot Card” were a sex position, what would it look like?
Ooh. I have this vision of people sitting on each other’s laps, face to face.
I recently discovered my boyfriend’s porn stash and found out that he has a fetish. It’s actually something I would be interested in doing with him. How do I broach the subject with him? Should I admit to coming across his treasure trove?
Okay — there’s nothing wrong with having a porn stash. So you found it! Big deal. That’s like saying, "I found your Rolling Stone. But you read a magazine I actually like, honey! And I’d like to read it with you."
Do you think that people need to be more open with sex?
Your life is so much simpler and easier and fun when you're open about sex! Let’s say you’ve got a shoe fetish — I’m just picking that out of the air — and it’s an issue for you. You feel shame, you feel embarrassed, you feel like you’re holding energy. Instead of hiding it, just admit it to someone: “By the way, shoes just do it for me.” What’s the big deal? If she says, “Oh, that’s disgusting,” you say, “I don’t have a future sexual relationship with this person.”
I’m a lesbian and the other night I ended up drunkenly fooling around with my best female friend. The problem is that she's straight. I think I may be in love with her. How do I try to convince her that what we did was more than just drunken experimenting without losing my best friend?
You're in a hard place. Cultural norms push you very strongly in one direction or another. So I’m pretty sure that your best friend could be bisexual and could have enjoyable sexual experiences with women. But if she feels a lot of cultural pressure to be straight, sleeping with women may not be a source of joy for her.
Is it worth pursuing, or is that just going to make her feel more comfortable?
I’m sure it’s going to make her uncomfortable. The thing is, I don’t mind sitting in the uncomfortable space for awhile — but I’m a trained therapist and she may run away. That’s why I say you're in a difficult space. The other thing is, if it doesn’t happen, is she ever allowed to complain about her boyfriend to you? If you try to make that happen and it doesn’t work, it will hurt the friendship.
Any final advice?
We tie ourselves up in knots so easily about the stuff that really doesn’t matter. Be kind to each other. Laugh. Take a small, manageable risk. Be safe! Just let yourself enjoy what comes to you and there’s no walk of shame — if other people don’t want to do it, that’s absolutely okay, but if you want to do it and you’re with consenting adults and you’re safe with each other, whatever you want to do is fine!