Jason, 26

How many trivia nights have you attended?
Maybe ten.

Would you take someone you were dating to trivia night?
Depends on the trivia night. This one, certainly.

Because of the free pizza?
Of course!

So you would take out a first date somewhere where they gave you free food? 
You didn’t say first date — you said someone you were dating! Dating implies we’ve been on multiple dates. And they might have met my friends, which means this sort of scenario is more acceptable.

This is a good way to introduce your friends to a significant other. But would you date someone who sucked at trivia?
Certainly. I suck at trivia. That’s why I’m out here.

Best way to hit on people at trivia night?
Know all the answers.

So there’s something to be said for people who know what they’re doing at trivia night. And you’re admittedly not one of those people. So how do you fare at trivia night?
Terribly.

You never get girls?
Never.

Do your friends get girls?
No.

Have you ever flirted with someone for the answers? A few people have accused me of that when I was just trying to interview them.
I’m not surprised anyone accused you of flirting for answers.

Whenever I go out, guys ask for my number. I’m never interested in them, but I don’t know how to say no, and I'm either screening my calls or engaging in stupid texts for the next two weeks. How do I politely decline when a nice person asks for my number?
Say, “Sorry,” and shrug.

That’s it? Don’t you feel bad after that?
“Sorry” is better than getting her number and hopefully texting and then never hearing anything, right? At least you know right off the bat, and you can go home and be like I was wasted, she wasn’t into me because I was drunk, and make an excuse to make yourself feel better.

My boyfriend has some issues with premature ejaculation —
Sorry!

Yeah, me too. But how do I go about making that less awkward and awful for me?
Training. And up-frontness. “You are premature and we’re going to train.” Get him to the point of ejaculation and stop. Either that or have him wear three condoms.

I’ve been on five dates with a guy and we haven’t made it past second base. What’s wrong with him? What’s wrong with me?
He’s a prude. Assuming you want to make it past second base, you’re not forward enough.

But I’m an old-fashioned lady!
Well, then he’s nervous and scared, and you’re not forward.

Because I’m such a lady? Do you think he’s afraid to offend me?
Yes. Either that or he’s completely nervous because he ejaculates prematurely.

Not the same guy! Next question: I got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend with her friend. Is it okay not to tell her if we both regret it and don’t want anything to happen again?
Okay, hold on, I’m absorbing… No. You shouldn’t have slept with her friend. Technically, you should definitely tell her. But, uh, whether you do it or not is up to you.

Any other sex advice for us?
Be good at it. And practice. Practice makes perfect.