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Sex Advice from . . . Rock Climbers

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David, 31
www.newclimber.com

How can becoming a rock climber make me better in bed?
Climbers can manage their stress levels and arousal states with deep-breathing techniques. When you’re forty feet off the ground and questioning your next move on a rock face, it becomes a critical skill. If there’s one thing that’s key to good sex — and prolonged orgasms — it’s knowing how to control your arousal states.

My girlfriend gets really loud while we’re having sex and the neighbors complain. Sometimes I think she’s just showing off. How do I let her know that it’s embarrassing me?
The next time she broadcasts, tell her how much it turns you on to know that she’s enjoying your love-making. Then,

promotion

gently, tell her that because you think other people can hear how much fun she’s having, it makes you anxious. Your anxiousness translates into a distracted, less-focused performance.

My recently found out that my boyfriend likes porn featuring small blonde girls. I’m tall and brunette. Should I be worried?
Is his porn collection made up exclusively of small blonde girls? Or do brunettes occasionally make cameos? That might be telling. For fun, you may consider investing in a blond wig.

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. Could learning to climb together be helpful?
It’s a great idea to learn to climb together. One of the awesome things about climbing is that it distills life to its most basic elements. When you’re climbing, all that matters is that you move up toward the top of the climbing problem, and that you don’t die in the process. You won’t have the energy or mental capacity to really think about your last fight. Holding your lives in each other’s hands will help you realize if it’s all worth it.

What tips do you have for tending to a guy’s balls?
a) Be gentle, b) lots of tongue, c) be gentle.

Last weekend I got drunk and made out with a girl at a bar. Do I need to tell my boyfriend, or does it not count since it was with another girl?
You have to tell him. Include as many details as possible. He’ll probably ask you to do it again.

What’s the best climbing-related sexual experience you’ve had?
Sadly, I haven’t had any climbing-related sexual experiences. I do have lots of fantasies involving harnesses, bivy sacks, ropes and tight outfits, though.


Nina, 25


What is the best way to pick up someone at a climbing gym?
Ask them for help figuring out a difficult move. This is a nice one since they don’t have to be skilled to have an opinion, and you won’t be seen as a cocky bastard who’s afraid to ask for help.

How can becoming a rock climber make me better in bed?
Forearms are one thing. But the nicest perk of climbing is developing a strong core, which means hard abs and good back muscles for doggy style. Then there’s always the added flexibility. And we can tolerate scrapes and bruises.

My girlfriend gets really loud while we’re having sex and the neighbors complain. Sometimes I think she’s just showing off. How do I let her know that it’s embarrassing me?
Showing off for whom? Get with the program and start yowling along with her.

I recently found out that my boyfriend likes porn featuring small blonde girls. I’m tall and brunette. Should I be worried?
No. Get him a Skipper doll and get over it.

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. Could learning to climb together be helpful?
Depends. I think climbing is an inherently intimate activity. It requires trust, and with a good partner, you learn to push yourself and your partner over huge physical and mental barriers — all great things for bonding. Then again, I don’t recommend fighting while climbing unless you’re ready to take a spill when he drops the rope.

My boyfriend wants me to pull a Britney Spears and shave everything. I think it’s unattractive (and most likely uncomfortable). What should I do?
Ditch him. I’m a no-shaving-nowhere, no-way kind of woman. If you’re eager to please, tell him it sounds like a great bonding experience and hit the wax together.


Annie, 27
www.anniecohenaudio.com

I’m really attracted to my climbing partner. Is it a bad idea to have sex with her, even if I don’t want to date her because I just got out of a relationship?
I tend to err on the conservative side of this argument. Sex always changes a relationship, and you yourself state that you don’t want it to change. Furthermore, you just got out of a relationship. You need a random, drama-free rebound, not a potentially explosive situation.

I recently found out that my boyfriend likes porn featuring small blonde girls. I’m tall and brunette. Should I be worried?
Nope. Porn is all about the fantasy. Just because someone gets off on watching kinky shit doesn’t mean they would necessarily do the kinky shit in real life. So your boyfriend digs on blonde porn — doesn’t mean he doesn’t also dig on doing it with his tall, brunette girlfriend.

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. Could learning to climb together be helpful?
Yes! It’s a great trust-building exercise. Rock climbing is one of the most frustrating sports, it takes lots of encouragement from the people on the ground, and hearing that support and encouragement from each other might be the thing that builds your bond back up.

I want sex more frequently than the guy I just started dating, but I’m embarrassed to ask for it because it makes me feel needy and unattractive. What should I do?
Last time I checked with my guy friends, there was nothing needy or unattractive about a girl wanting more sex. Just put the moves on him and see how he reacts. But don’t be offended if he’s not interested on a daily basis. People have different sex drives. It doesn’t mean that he’s not attracted to you if he doesn’t want to have sex every time you do, it just means you have different needs. That’s why God invented masturbation.

My boyfriend wants me to pull a Britney Spears and shave everything. I think it’s unattractive (and most likely uncomfortable). What should I do?
My motto is, try everything once. Your boyfriend got the balls up to ask you to do something for him that really turns him on, the least you can do is entertain the notion of fulfilling his request. It’s weird what men find attractive versus what us girls think is hot. I agree that a full shave is not the greatest looking thing I’ve ever seen, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And from my experience, it’s really not that uncomfortable.

Jill, 25

What is the best way to pick up someone at a climbing gym?
Climb on routes nearby him or her throughout the night so there’s an excuse to exchange idle comments while you’re climbing.

What are some special skills that rock climbers have that make them especially good in bed?
We can stand comfortably on small ledges and edges (bathtub rim), counterbalance (poles, bedposts) and stem and chimney (hallways).

My girlfriend gets really loud while we’re having sex and the neighbors complain. Sometimes I think she’s just showing off. How do I let her know that it’s embarrassing me?
Maybe the problem is you — you haven’t really let yourself let loose. Maybe her letting herself be loud is the way she’s found to really get off. But it’s not cool to be the loud-sex neighbors all the time. Try changing your venue to somewhere where you won’t disturb others, or change the time of day you have sex.

I want sex much more frequently than the guy I just started dating, but I’m embarrassed to ask for it because it makes me feel needy and unattractive. What should I do?
I think it’s important to be mostly on the same sexual page as your mate. If you’re too incompatible with your sexual desires, that frustration will bleed into the rest of the relationship and that’s hard to repair.

What tips do you have for tending to a guy’s balls?
Tell him not to buy an Alpine Bod harness. A fall in one of those always crushes the poor guys downstairs.

What’s the best climbing-related sexual experience you’ve had?
Any climbing trip when my climbing partner is also my lover is the best. Tugging my man into the tent with me at the end of a long day of climbing is my definition of a perfect day.  

Interviews by Kristin Gangwer. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.


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