Advice

Sex Advice from Rowers

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Tim, 25

Is it possible to get so muscular that I turn the corner on attractiveness and begin to get uglier, and how can I identify that point?
Once you start measuring your man-boobs in cup sizes it should be pretty obvious. As for the ladies, see Chyna from professional wrestling fame or just about any female American Gladiator.

At the club where I row, we have coed locker rooms. How can I hit on someone in here without seeming like a creep? Keeping your towel on is a good start. Avoid cheesy innuendo like, "I noticed you have a great stroke out there."

Which is better: sex at dawn or late at night? Definitely at the break of dawn. You know that great feeling you get from actually waking up for an early-morning workout? That satisfying sense of accomplishment? It’s like that, except you’ve just had sex and you have all day to think about how great it was.

I slept with my friend’s sister on New Year’s. It was a drunken thing, but now I’m kind of into her. Should I tell my friend? Should a pursue her or just let it slide?
Unless she often hangs out with you and this friend in similar social settings, that would be a tough thing to casually pursue without pissing off your friend.

My girlfriend and I frequently have threesomes with other girls. The other day, we met another couple and they want to swing. I’m not too happy about the idea of my girl with another man, but I recognize that it’s not fair for me to keep having all the fun with other women. What should I do?
Fair is fair, but there’s no reason you can’t put certain restrictions on a menage-a-trois. Tell your girlfriend that you’re into the idea, but would like to keep certain acts in the bedroom just between the two of you so you’re able to maintain that special connection while the other dude is around.

I went on a date with a guy I met through an online personal ad. When he showed up, it was obvious the pictures from his ad were at least six or seven years old. What should I have done?
If you felt misled you should have called him on it, but in a playful way, like, "The internet sheds a few years, huh?" No sense in dropping the bitch card before you even get the date started. It’s always worth giving him the benefit of the doubt since you found his ad interesting enough to meet him for a date.

Sarah, 19

What’s the best way to pick up a rower?
It is a fine balance between being aggressive, but not too aggressive. We’re tough and aggressive people, so we like it when things are straight-forward.

I’m a short guy who has trouble dating because a lot of women don’t seem to want to date a guy they’re taller than. Any advice?
A lot of girls are self-conscious about their height or weight, and when they’re with a guy who’s shorter than them it just magnifies that feeling. Make the girl feel beautiful and show that her height doesn’t make you uncomfortable, and it’ll be less of an issue.

I went on a date with a guy I met through an online personal ad. When he showed up, it was obvious the pictures from his ad were at least six or seven years old. What should I have done?
The pictures are false advertising. How were you supposed to know he wasn’t one of those lucky people who age well? You should have just talked with him and been friendly, and just seen how things went. If he was still attractive to you, despite the pictures, go for it. Otherwise just tell him it was nice to meet him, but you just aren’t feeling it.

Is it possible to get so muscular that I turn the corner on attractiveness and begin to get uglier?
Only if you’re an intense body-builder and your veins are popping out everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, I love muscular guys, but when you look like one of the guys out of Muscle & Fitness who are probably on steroids it’s a huge turn-off.

Which is better: sex at dawn or late at night?
Depends on what the relationship is between you and the person you’re having sex with. If it’s just a hookup, late-at-night sex is always the winner — it allows you to take advantage of all that cardio training. The morning is usually good for more romantic, usually sober sex.

I slept with my friend’s sister on New Year’s. It was a drunken thing, but now I’m kind of into her. Should I tell my friend? Should a pursue her or just let it slide?
If you’re into her, go for it, as long as your intentions are good. And by good, I mean you want it to go somewhere, not just for more booty calls.

I’m a straight guy who wants to receive anal sex, but I’m afraid my girlfriend might think I’m weird. How can I broach the subject?
This is a tough one. Experiment on your own before you ask her to join in. Girls are touchy about that subject. Just give her the option not to be open to the idea.

Shay, 24

What time of day is the best time to have sex?
I had a girlfriend who wasn’t a rower, and if I woke her up before practice at five a.m. she wouldn’t have appreciated it. By the time I got back from class I’d be pretty tired. So sex right after practice was usually the best choice for me.

I’m a short guy who has trouble dating because a lot of women don’t seem to want to date a guy they’re taller than. Any advice?
Most of my friends who don’t row are shorter than me, but I don’t notice it. They’re all pretty outgoing and not timid about being out or around new people. What you don’t have in height you can make up for in attitude. Don’t let a girl eye you and decide you’re too short. Approach her and talk to her so she bases her decision on what you have to say.

I slept with my friend’s sister on New Year’s. It was a drunken thing, but now I’m kind of into her. Should I tell my friend? Should a pursue her or just let it slide?
As long as the sister is at least a year through college, you can pursue it. But tell your friend — dating a sister is fine, lying about it is not.

I went on a date with a guy I met through an online personal ad. When he showed up, it was obvious the pictures from his ad were at least six or seven years old. What should I have done?
If you find yourself not attracted to a set-up date, be civil, have what might be an interesting conversation and then decline a second date. One night out of your life isn’t the end of the world, and you never know when you might connect with someone even if they’re a little older.

I think my girlfriend drinks excessively. How can I deal with this without making her defensive?
Lead by example. She may be trying to pace you, and if you have a few fewer drinks during the night she’ll probably follow suit.

Evan, 27

What’s the best way to pick up a rower?
Start rowing yourself. The only relationships that happen are usually sort of incestuous between the men’s and women’s team because they’re forced to spend way too much time together.

Is it possible to get so muscular that I turn the corner on attractiveness and begin to get uglier, and how can I identify that point?
Stay away from drugs and generally you’ll be all right. There aren’t enough hours in the day to become Arnold Schwarzenegger without some help from the pharmacy.

Which is better: sex at dawn or late at night?
I love the sex in the morning. You’ve been rolling around all night with wood that came from some sideways dream you half-remember, and in the morning before consciousness fully takes hold, she wakes up and immediately becomes aroused by your current state. She christens the new day by riding you out of your dream right into another. You know right there that’s going to be a good day.

At the club where I row, we have coed locker rooms. How can I hit on someone in here without seeming like a creep?
You’re an idiot. Make the move when everyone’s got their clothes on someplace else. People are fundamentally uncomfortable without their pants on. Once you get positive feedback with your clothes on, then move into foreplay in the locker room.

I slept with my friend’s sister on New Year’s. It was a drunken thing, but now I’m kind of into her. Should I tell my friend? Should a pursue her or just let it slide?
"But now I’m kind of into her." Does this mean that before you banged her with a stupid hat and too much champagne you had no interest? And now that you know you can catch some tail from her, you want to double dip? If you value your friendship, get your hand out of the freaking cookie jar.

I can only orgasm when on top. Any tips for coming while on the bottom?
A lot of people when they’re on the bottom play the part of a dead fish — sort of flopping around at first, and then nothing. Assert yourself, keep it moving. Just because you’re on the bottom doesn’t mean you’re out of control. Show her what you want.

I’m a bigger guy and I have trouble getting girls. Once I start talking to them, they like me, but they won’t give me a chance. How can I get that first thirty seconds?
Focusing on women at the bar is like squeezing blood from a stone. I know some pretty hefty guys who hook up with good-looking girls because they’re just comfortable with who they are, probably even more so than the good-looking chicks. Use your friends to animate you. The agenda at the bar should be have a good time with friends. If things precipitate well, you can work in a tangent hookup — it’s the pearl in the oyster: when it’s there you couldn’t be happier, but if it’s not at least you still have an oyster to eat.