Sex Advice From Second Life Players

Q: What’s the best thing about sex in Second Life? A: Everything. It’s the ultimate fantasy, not inhibited by reality.

By Danielle Gibson

John, 21

Can you have a serious relationship on Second Life?
I think you can. I've been in at least two relationships on Second Life. They're very emotional, physical. I've learned a lot about the other person. And I've felt emotionally, it's like a real relationship. Maybe even more so.

What’s better about Second Life sex? What’s better about real life sex?
You're a little less insecure. So many relationships, it's just one person thinking "Does this person find me attractive? Am I doing well?" In Second Life, you're just interacting together, being honest and true in a way you don't really get in real life. Plus sex is all a fantasy, really. You can really create the fantasy you want to believe in Second Life. Instead of dealing with the reality like, "This person might fart soon, this person hasn't shaved, this person smells bad but I'm still going try to have an orgasm." You can have the perfect fantasy in Second Life. Whereas in real life you're just trying to make things okay. In Second Life it's all your dream, all the time.

What is the sexiest thing about a Second Life player?
Gosh, you know, all the things you can't control in real life, you can put together in Second Life. If you have a Carmen Sandiego fetish, maybe in real life it takes you years trying to subtly hint to girls, "Hey, you should wear this red leather jacket, and a hat." On Second Life, it's okay to try things that other people might find weird.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years, and have fallen into the rut of boring date nights — dinner and a movie. How can we spice it up?
Just take yourself out of your own context. Open up a magazine and say, "Hey, Smackdown is coming to the local arena, let's go see Smackdown." Edge is retired unfortunately, but there are plenty of other sexy wrestlers. Cena does it for some people.

The guy I'm dating has an unusually large sexual appetite. I know I should be glad, but it's exhausting and sometimes I just don't feel like it. How can I get him to cool it so that we can do other things together, not just constant humping?
Pretend to be sick, or on your period. I guess if he has an insane appetite he might like that, though. Honestly, if that's the problem, you probably haven't learned enough about each other. You're probably at one step in the relationship and you should explore that more. Like "Hey, you're a cowboy. But what do you know about horses?"

My boyfriend is a good bit younger than me. We work very well together when we're alone, but sometimes it's tough when we go out — he's usually broke, and his friends are still reliving college. Should I be dating someone my own age? Or is it okay that we have separate social lives?
You should be dating someone your own age. Younger people are terrible. They don't have money. They're dumb. They probably have very limited experience. They probably still talk to their moms a lot. You're probably denying something if you're with some young loser.

Lately I've wanted to hook up with other girls. Is there a classy way to bring them to my place?
Just accept that it's a bad idea. You should move out.

I feel like my internet identity — on Facebook, Gchat, Twitter, etc. — is very charming, witty, and fun. But when I actually meet up with my online acquaintances, I'm shy and introverted and it always feels likes my dates are disappointed. How can I transfer my internet poise to real life?
That's a classic thing. I think we all scrutinize our own appearances so much, and no one else really cares because they're so concerned about themselves. You learn to not care what other people think about you when you realize how rarely they do. Even if you're on a first date and the person is semi-attractive, they think about it for twenty seconds, and for the rest of the date is "Does this person like me? How do I look?" If you're out together, in public, they probably like you. Accept who you are.