Advice

Sex Advice from Sex Shop Employees

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Sex Advice from Sex Shop Employees - Coyote

Coyote, 36

What’s the best reason to date someone who works in a sex store?
The discount! Ha, just kidding. There are a ton of reasons: sex education and information, a chest full of sex toys, a discount on lube, and a ton of resources at their fingertips. Also, since we talk about sex and sexuality on a daily basis there's a good chance we'll be more open to talking about it.

Is it wrong to date someone who works in a sex store for the discounts?
Depends on how good their discount is! Okay, yes, it is wrong. A casual one or two dates, maybe, any kind of real romance solely for the discount? Stop being a cheap bastard.

I was drunk last weekend and had sex with another guy. The guilt is killing me, but I don’t want my boyfriend to break up with me; I still love him. What should I do?
So (and this sucks) you should tell him. If you want there to be any chance of a future you have to be honest. He might break up with you and you'll just have to deal with it. But if he can find a way to forgive you and move on, your relationship will be stronger for it.

The girl I’ve been dating for three years got a large, ugly tattoo across her back without talking to me first. She made me feel like an asshole when I got upset, saying I had no say about what she does with her body. Who’s in the wrong?
Bottom line: it’s her body and tattoos are personal. That said, it would have been great if she'd shared her thoughts with you, so you could have at least weighed in. There's really no right or wrong in this one, just your feelings and her feelings. That big ol' tattoo is still going to be there any time doggie is your position of choice.

Sometimes when I orgasm, I black out for a few seconds. Is this normal?
When you say black out, do you mean a euphoric orgasmic-induced disco nap or a "where am I" moment? The body is complex but I haven't heard of orgasm blackouts. But who's to say what's normal? I'd recommend seeing the local sex-positive doctor to check in.

I went to dinner with this guy I met last week at the bar. We had an amazing discussion. When the bill came, we both reached for the check. I did it to be polite, expecting he’d grab it away. Instead, he suggested we split it. Is it stupid that this still bothers me?
It's not stupid, per se. It was your expectation that disappointed you, not him. He probably didn't even know you were hoping for the chivalry of yore. If you’re into him, you have to figure out if going Dutch is a dealbreaker.

Is it weird that I’m not turned on unless a girl’s vagina is completely bald?
Nope. What's weird is if you aren't willing to help her pay for the costly waxing or laser hair removal it takes to achieve bare beaver. Oh, and PS: the vagina’s the inside part, and therefore already bare. The vulva’s is the external part commonly called "the pussy" and usually is not naturally bare. Now you know – and knowing is half the battle.

Sex Advice from Sex Shop Employees - MarkMark, 29

What’s the best reason to date someone who works in a sex store?
You'll be dating someone who’s very open-minded. When people come into the store, it’s important that they know they won’t be judged for their questions, lifestyle and preferences. Granted, not everything is for everyone, but at least your sex-shop partner will be open to the conversation. Of course, having a plethora of sexual knowledge at your disposal doesn’t hurt either.

Is it wrong to date someone who works in a sex store for the discounts?
Any dating situation where one person is dating another, primarily, for superficial or monetary gain, is a tad unhealthy. I wouldn’t date a farmer to get a better deal on steaks; I’d date them for the rolls in the hay.

I masturbate with a vibrator at least twice a day. Can a woman lose all the sensation in her clitoris from excessive masturbation?
The dreaded myth of "desensitization!" I am glad to announce that continual stimulation to your clitoris, from a vibrator, will not desensitize you. What is common is people getting used to a certain level of vibration. If you masturbate with a very strong toy, like a back massager, it’s harder to orgasm with a weaker vibrator. I recommend continually switching things up. Orgasm with your hand one night, and maybe with a weaker toy, the next.

Is two months too early to fall in love with someone?
People have been talking about "love at first sight" since before pen touched paper. As long as you try to stay clear-headed and objective, I don’t see any harm in it.  I personally don’t think two months is enough time to really know someone, but I can’t really talk. I’ve confessed my love for someone twenty minutes after meeting them. They were wearing a Spider-Man t-shirt; I was justified!

My boyfriend loves when I swallow. I hate it! I know there are foods to sweeten it up, but he doesn’t taste bad. It’s a texture thing. Is there a way to make oral sex more pleasurable for me?
One of my rules, when it comes to sex, is that nobody should have to do something they don’t want to do. I appreciate your willingness to forego your enjoyment for your partner, but it’s really not fair to you. We have all been with people who enjoy things we don’t. There’s really nothing you can do to change the texture of semen. No one should have to dread having sex. It’s sex, not a trip to the dentist. Unless your boyfriend is a dentist, in which case, forget what I said.

Sometimes when I orgasm, I black out for a few seconds. Is this normal?
It’s an overload to the "pleasure center" of your brain. Not to compare sex with drug use, but it’s also common when taking certain recreational drugs. Your brain is overwhelmed and temporarily shuts down. You shouldn’t be too concerned about this. But, I feel it’s important to say that I don’t recommend having an orgasm while driving a car or operating heavy machinery.

Is it true that women should pee after sex to prevent UTIs and other similar types of infections? Should men?
I always recommend peeing before and right after sex. This will help push out any bacteria that has wandered inside of you before and after your sexy time. This will also help prevent bacteria from traveling up your urinary tract and setting up residence in your bladder. Nobody wants a bladder infection. They’re a kick in the pants.

In order to come, my boyfriend “needs” to watch porn while we have sex. Am I doing something wrong in the bedroom?
Do you listen to music when you commute in the morning?  I do.  Ever try not listening to music? It’s weird and feels wrong. The human brain likes patterns. It loves making a solid connection between two things. Despite how it may seem, the brain remembers more then you think it does. If every time your boyfriend orgasms, he is watching porn, then it’s going to be really hard for him to orgasm without it. I don’t believe you’re doing anything wrong, it’s just that his brain has made a connection between these two things and he’s unable to disconnect them.

Is it weird that I’m not turned on unless a girl’s vagina is completely bald?
Is it weird that I am only attracted to redheads or people with tattoos? There is nothing wrong with having preferences or being attracted to certain things.

Sex Advice from Sex Shop Employees - Andy

Andy, 25

What’s the best reason to date someone who works in a sex store?
Freebies! Vendors want you to have experience with their toys. Every once in a while a vendor will come by and give the staff free lube or free vibes. It helps in giving the staff a real “hands on” idea as to how the toy works.


Are people who work in sex stores better in bed?
I get this question a lot actually; I think there’s an extra level of pressure on us. But just because someone has all the right tools, it doesn’t mean they have all the right moves. 

Is it wrong to date someone who works in a sex store for the discounts?
When I first started here, I got lots of friends asking for my discount. My reply was, “If you’re not using it with me, you’re not getting my discount.” I’m kind of a lot to deal with, and I don’t know if any discount really is enough for someone to want to put up with me.

I masturbate (via vibrator) at least twice a day. Can a woman lose all the sensation in her clitoris from excessive masturbation?
Gosh, I’m jealous of the amount of free time you have. The short answer is no. The body actually develops and grows new nerve endings to respond to vibration, one of the ways it responds is to help you reach orgasm faster. You might wish to diversify your sensation or masturbation style if you find a toy that was once effective is no longer doing the trick. This, however, is not from being desensitized by the toy but from getting used to it.

Is two months too early to fall in love with someone?
Depends. There are many different types of love, just like there are many different types of relationships. Does falling in love mean finding the one you plan to be with forever? Or does it mean finding someone unique and beautiful, even if just for a little while? I think you should fall in love whenever you can, and enjoy every type of it.


My boyfriend loves when I swallow. I hate it! I know there are foods to sweeten it up, but he doesn’t taste bad. It’s a texture thing. Is there a way to make oral sex more pleasurable for me?
There are a few different things you can do. First, you can see how he feels about coming on other places of your body – chest, face etc. If it’s particularly a mouth thing, you can always suck him off in a condom. That way he still gets the feeling of sucking during ejaculation but you don’t get any in your mouth. One recommendation: put a little lube inside the condom to make everything extra smooth and wet.

In order to come, my boyfriend “needs” to watch porn while we have sex. Am I doing something wrong in the bedroom?
Not necessarily. Some people just respond to different things. For example, he might be specifically turned on by watching people fuck while fucking. I doubt it’s that you’re not enough to please him. Why don’t you make him a sexy video of yourself for him to watch while you guys hook up? 


This guy I’m seeing is great. But he has a smaller penis – like, four inches erect. I heard that a penis pump could make it larger. Is this true? If so, how do I politely suggest he use one?
Penis pumps are toys to stimulate the penis. While they do increase the size of your penis while using, the penis doesn’t stay that size when removed. It’s very uncommon that when two people get together, their equipment is perfectly matched. They may have too wide of a penis, not curved enough, fingers too short, fists too big, etc. That’s why your best tool in the bedroom is your creativity. Maybe he can finger you, or fuck you with a longer dildo before or after. Also, there are different positions you can use to help smaller penises feel deeper. Try them out on him!


Is it weird that I’m not turned on unless a girl’s vagina is completely bald?
Not at all. Some people really love hairless genitals. In the same respect, some people really love the look and feel of natural pubic hair as well. For me, it’s what’s inside that counts.

All participants are employees at Good Vibrations.