Sex Advice From Sexy Sax Players

"Playing saxophone is all about precision, timing, and finesse with your fingers, mouth, and tongue..."

By Carly Pifer

James, 28

of 6Figures, Tim Blane

What's the best way to hit on a sax player?
The best way to hit on any musician is not to be the one who's like "OhmygodIwishIcouldbewithyouallthetime! Sign my titties!" I get that a lot. Treat a musician like a real person. Treat them like someone you know. Because supergroupies get treated like supergroupies. Most musicians don't want to get with the groupies who seem like they're crazy.

But crazy girls are better in bed.
Yes, but they also turn out to be stalkers. And that usually causes a problem. I'm not a huge fan of stalkers — I've had a couple.

If the saxophone was a sex position, what would it look like?
A dude standing up, and a girl down, hands on the ground, but with her head up and tilted back.

Are you pulling her hair to keep her head up?
Yeah.

What music would you put on if you invited a girl into your bedroom?
You could always play some Emily King, just because it feels that good. If you're trying to get into that space, you can't really go wrong with D'Angelo. And Maxwell.

How often do your sexy sax skills result in you having sexy sex?
This is going to sound really interesting: I've tried my best not to be someone who has a whole lot of one-night-stands. I'm not a huge fan of them. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Doesn't mean it won't happen again. I just try to be cognizant.

Why hate on the one-night-stand?
It's not that I'm a hater. It's just that, there's a whole lot of shit out there. Diseases, craziness.

Okay, you have a history with crazy girls.
I have a history with some craziness. Enough history that I can spot them from afar.

Can you elaborate on the warning signs of crazy from afar?
Extremely irrational thinking, and they usually have this look in their eye. Hyper-aggressive meets paranoid.

Do I have it?
You don't have that look. You do have a look. But not quite that one. You have a twinge of it.

That's good news for my future. Okay: I'm a young, fun, pretty New York City girl. Wait, no. I live in Brooklyn, I'm kind of a homebody, and I really dislike the idea of meeting people in bars. But I do want to meet someone. How do I find suitable men?
Depends on the type of guys you're looking for. If you're looking for someone just to get it with, you can always come down to Rockwood and see somebody play and just give them the eye.

It's that easy?
It is kind of that easy, as long as you don't have those crazy-ass eyes.

I used to hook up with girls all the time, randomly — one-night stands, friends of friends, you name it. Now I'm more settled, but recently I realized I haven't been with anyone in an entire year. Have I matured? Or have I lost my sex drive?
You're probably ready to settle down with someone and not just be out there with whoever. No one really loses interest in sex. It's a bit too innate for us to be like, "Ahh, I forgot what to do. Things just don't work anymore."

Actually, at some point, James, your penis will not work anymore.
That's not true. There are technologies and medical science. No, no.

I just wanted to point it out.
Stop that. Stop that.