Paula, 48

of Melvin Van Peebles Wid Laxative, Burnt Sugar, Rev. Vince Anderson & The Love Choir

What's the best way to hit on a sax player? You, in particular.
I think flattery is a good place to start. Flattery and gifts. A lot of people offer to buy me a drink, but I don't really drink, so that's always a bad way to hit on me. But if someone wants to offer me a hit on a joint, that's progress. Cab fare, that's a good one too.

If the saxophone were a sex position, what would it look like?
I guess it would have to be related to fellatio in some way. Maybe the position would be a man being fellated. Let's put him in a yogic, chakra-asana, full-wheel position, being fellated and yelling out with joy. Not that I've ever had sex with a yogi.

Why are sax players better in bed?
We use our mouths and our fingers, practicing for hours and hours and develop special, unique muscles for playing the saxophone. We must have some advantages over non-saxophone players..

What music would you turn on if you invited a man into your bedroom?
I've been listening to a lot of psychedelic, groovy music. I recently rediscovered this band called The Necks, from Australia. I like instrumental music a lot. That's the kind I like listening to when I have sex.

I live in Brooklyn. I'm kind of a homebody, and I really dislike the idea of meeting people in bars. But I do want to meet someone. Where do I go or how do I find suitable men?
Go to a live music show, because people are often dancing. I'm sure that's what's happening under my nose as I'm playing music, trying to create art. I feel like half the time these people are just trying to get laid. You get to hear some music, but there are a whole lot of young sexy people. Sometimes it seems as if an orgy is about to break out in the room!

Are you a relationship person?
For a long time I wasn't in a steady relationship and I pitied people who were, because it seemed they were always enduring some tribulation or worrying that they were about to break up. I'm happy in a relationship now, though. There are pros and cons to both.

I'm sleeping with a guy who always begs me to let him come on my chest. I'm totally not into it. How can we compromise?
I predict that your gentleman friend is under the age of forty, and I think that this practice of wanting to come outside of a woman's vagina and on some part of her body is a result of the money shot from porn. Because I'm forty-eight, I've had sex with a lot of older guys and a lot of younger guys, so I can really note a lot of different styles. You could try checking out some vintage porn, where it doesn't include that money shot so much. Or you could trade him in and get an older lover, because they don't really go for that.

Fascinating. This question will also relate to trends in pornography: what's your stance on pubic hair?
I rock it and it works out for me these days. I once had a lover whom I asked, "Do you prefer a shaved pussy or a hairy pussy?" And he said, "Open."