Advice

Sex Advice From Single Mothers

Pin it

bigiconwide7

Chloë, 27

How and when is it best to let suitors know you have children?
If there was ever a conversation not to have on a first date, it’s that one. If he didn’t know before he asked you out, I think it’s best to ease it in over the first few dates. If he seems open to the idea, try going out for a picnic, or a day at the zoo with the kids. See how comfortable he is with the situation. Every guy is different — some are family types, some aren’t.

In the last few months, my girlfriend has put on a bit of weight. How can I tell her that she should hit the gym, without it blowing up in my face?
You can’t. What you can do is say that you want her to work out with you — something you can do as a couple. This will probably lead to her asking, “Do you think I need to workout?” And while you might want to scream, “YES!” you won’t. Instead you’ll tell her, “No. You always look beautiful.” She probably won’t believe you and will insist on joining you at the gym — and you didn’t even have to call her fat.

My boyfriend keeps shaving his pubic hair because he thinks it makes his penis look bigger, except now he has razor bumps everywhere, which I find a little disgusting. Any grooming tips I can pass along?
Maybe he could just manscape — you know,  prune the hedges but leave the front yard intact? If that doesn’t work, tell him to pick up some Bikini Zone.

chloeHave your kids ever walked in on you during sex?
My daughter’s a little too young for that kind of “hide and seek.” Besides, mommy has a sitter when she wants to spend quality time with uncle Whomever.

If you were stranded on a desert island, but allowed to bring one sex toy with you, what would you bring?
That depends…who’s going to supply the batteries? I’m going to stick with the Rabbit — Mr. Reliable.

Is there any place in particular where you’d go to meet single dads?
I don’t think there are single dads my age, deadbeat dads aside. I could tell you where you’ll find tons of single moms desperately searching for single dads — the park, PTA meetings and events, supermarkets, day care… Now if someone could just pass this info along to some eligible men?

Sex with an ex: mistake or nostalgic?
I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to figure that one out— that’s how I got pregnant!

Janeen , 46
http://ninaturns40.blogs.com & twitter.com/ninaturns40

I live at home with my parents and whenever my boyfriend comes by, he constantly mentions how hot my mother is. Should I be worried?
No, you should just dump your boyfriend.

My girlfriend’s very in touch with her body. At first, all of the pointers she’d give me during sex were helpful, if not hot. But, now they’re starting to affect my confidence and I’m worrying I’m bad in bed. What should I do?
Quit worrying about whether you are good or bad. She’s there with you, so she wants you. Be thankful she’s telling you what she likes and needs. If you can keep your ego out of it, you will learn a ton and she will be grateful and appreciative. Plus, if you should ever find yourself single again, you’ll have all sorts of mad skills — listening being primary among them — that women dig.

How and when is it best to let suitors know you have children?
It depends on the relationship. If you’re only fucking him, then you never have to tell him, since I’m dearly hoping you don’t involve the kids in that. But if you’re dating, then the sooner, the better.

janeenIf you were stranded on a desert island and allowed to bring one sex toy with you, what would you bring?
A pocket rocket. Preferably solar-powered.

I’ve been dating this perfect guy for five months. I just introduced him to my kids and they don’t approve. What should I do?
There could be a million reasons why the kids don’t approve. Figure out if it’s just normal jealousy and getting used to someone new in their lives, or if it’s something deeper. Kids are usually pretty intuitive, and they can sense if someone has some nasty secrets or isn’t being straight up with them, so maybe this guy isn’t so perfect after all. Pretty much by definition, if he can’t get along with your offspring, he’s not perfect.

My boyfriend keeps shaving his pubic hair because he thinks it makes his penis look bigger, except now he has razor bumps everywhere, which I find a little disgusting. Any grooming tips I can pass along?
Tell him that you already know how big his penis is and to knock it off. You could also mention that, if he stopped shaving, it would exponentially increase the amount of blow jobs he receives. Blow jobs trump the appearance of a bigger penis every time.

In the last few months, my girlfriend has put on a bit of weight. How can I tell her that she should hit the gym, without it blowing up in my face?
There is no non-douchey way to tell someone to go to the gym. Realize that if a woman is gaining weight it’s likely because she’s feeling down, or stressed, or something’s going on with her that’s keeping her from being active. Help her deal with that. If she’s feeling better, she’ll take better care of herself and you won’t come off looking like an asshole.

Issa, 36
www.yoursingleparenting.com and http://nycmamasan.blogspot.com

Sex with an ex: mistake or nostalgic?
Both. At least for me it was. I decided to make an ex a “friends with benefits,” and mostly it worked really well. But every now and then there was too much history for it to be simple, which is what I was looking for to begin with — simplicity.  You should gauge your history before you take that step, and then if you’re sure that you have no residual feelings of reconciliation at all, go for it!

I live at home with my parents and whenever my boyfriend comes by, he constantly mentions how hot my mother is. Should I be worried?
Probably. If he doesn’t have the proper filter to keep himself from saying inappropriate things to you about your own mother, he might not have the proper filter to keep him from doing whatever it is you think you should be worried about.

I really want to ensure my son has a male influence in his life, but my boyfriend isn’t ready to play Dad. Any advice?
Don’t look to boyfriends to be the male influence in your son’s life — what will happen to your son’s relationship with him if you break up one day?  Look to your dad, brothers, uncles and cousins, or your son’s teachers, coaches, or music tutors to provide positive male role models in his life. Male role models should be men who will be there for him, regardless of their relationship to you.

issaMy boyfriend keeps shaving his pubic hair because he thinks it makes his penis look bigger. Now he has razor bumps everywhere, which I find a little disgusting. Any grooming tips I can pass along?
Tell him to cut the hair down but not shave it off completely. If he mows it down with clippers almost to the skin, it can still give him the look he’s going for, but without the nasty razor bumps.

My roommate and my girlfriend are really close. I’m worried that he’s going to tell her that I’ve been talking to my ex a lot lately. What should I do?
First, you have to ask yourself why you’ve been talking to your ex so much recently — do you harbor hopes of reconciling with her? Do you value her opinion more than your current girlfriend’s?  Then, either stop talking to your ex, or tell your girlfriend about it and deal with whatever she has to say. Nothing cures worrying about getting caught like not having anything to get caught for!

A friend of mine told me that my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is cheating on him. Should I tell him? 
No! Despite how much fun you might have in being the one to tell him he’s getting cheated on (depending on the circumstances of your break-up, that is), you don’t want to a) break the confidentiality of the friend who told you, and b) get into your ex’s business. You will very likely not be the hero if you tell him. The messenger gets killed all the time in matters like these.

How and when is it best to let suitors know you have children?
My fellow single mamas may have different takes on this, but I think it’s best to get that sort of thing out in the open right from the beginning. You don’t want to get to know a guy and really start liking him, only to find out later that you being a single mother is a dealbreaker for him. Plus, being a mom is nothing to keep hidden — celebrate your MILFishness!