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Sex Advice From . . . Skateboarders

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Roberto

Name a specific move that enhances oral sex.
I call it the three-point plan. While using the mouth, you have to use two other parts of the body at the same time.

Describe your personal X Games: a sex trick with an especially high degree of difficulty.
Well, I can do the Hercules One Arm Bed-to-Bed Transfer. That’s where you’re having sex, you grab her underneath with one arm, pick her up without breaking the flow and take her to another room, and maybe hit the wall first.

What are the most common sex-related injuries?
Blue balls, and a stiff neck and tongue.

Do you have a good remedy?
For blue balls, you either spank it, or put on a Jacques Cousteau hat. One time, I had blue balls and my friend took a sock and rolled it up, kind of like a donut, and said, “Put this on.” And I put this little Jacques Cousteau hat on, and that helped it.

What’s one rule of sexual etiquette that should never be broken?
Never talk about what you did with a girl in front of her. They don’t want to feel like a slut, even if they are one.

What are some specific ways to keep a long-term sexual relationship fresh?
Batteries. Take her different places, not always in the bed. Don’t show her everything you’ve got in the beginning. Always reserve one little trick.

Are there any words that should never be used to refer to genitalia?
“Dangling participle,” for a guy. And obviously not “cunt.” You better be a black-belt if you’re gonna use that one.

What do you say?
I say “special place,” “down under.” Oh, I know what you never call it. Can I back up?

Of course.
Never call it “carne asada." You won’t be getting any if you do.

Shannon

Describe your ideal personal X Games.
I like a man to be physical. I dated an underwear model once; one time he stood up with my legs wrapped around him and fucked me that way. It was hot! The funnest thing I’ve done was with two guys at once, so I could suck one guy while I was done from behind, doggy-style.

And how many times have you done that?
Twice. I’ve had sex with two girls before, but that’s not as much fun.

Any tips for making condom use more enjoyable?
My boyfriend just tried a large condom and he was like, “Oh my God, I’m a large-condom wearer!” Basically, regular condoms were too tight on him and it was killing his sensation. So, guys, if the condom isn’t comfortable, try a large one. If it doesn’t slip off, it feels great.

When you’re in a relationship, do both partners have to come every time?
No. Because it takes me anywhere from fifteen minutes to thirty minutes to come, and if I just want to get my groove on, I don’t want the guy that I’m with — especially if he knows me and knows how long it takes — to feel like it’s a chore. If it’s just a one-off, I still get pleasure from sex without having to orgasm.

Could you find a guy attractive because he hasn’t had much experience?
Yeah. I de-virginized a guy because he told me he was a virgin. I wasn’t even attracted to him.

I bet he says that to all the girls.
Well, if he does, he’s smart!

My partner hates receiving oral sex. Psychological problem or just personal preference?
Totally psychological. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t enjoy it. You have to be able to let go. You can’t enjoy things if you’re thinking about them.

What are some specific ways to keep a long-term sexual relationship fresh?
Remain mysterious. Do not divulge too much information. For me, mystery is key. I don’t want to know everything about you, and I don’t want you to know everything about me. When you know everything about a person, it gets boring.

Is there a way to incorporate porn into sex in a way that doesn’t seem cheesy and can be exciting for both partners?
Porn’s hot. That’s something I did recently with this guy I’m dating. We watched porn together and had really great sex. Hollywood movies like 9 1/2 Weeks just don’t turn me on. Specific titles: The Voyeur 22 by John Leslie and Cherry Hawk. Those are the only two I own.

Ryan, 24

Is reading a partner’s email account ever okay?
Dude, that’s so bad. I want to say, “No, I’ve never done that,” but I’m a pretty jealous guy. I would say, don’t do it. But do as I say, not as I do.

What’s the sexiest album you’ve listened to lately?
The Postal Service.

What’s a no-fail buzzkill that should be avoided at all costs?
Don’t say the wrong person’s name. That’s first and foremost. I’ve also found lately there are nights when I kind of want to have sex but she really wants to have sex. And that usually ends up in a fight because feelings get hurt. And then I feel inadequate because I think, “What’s wrong with me? I got this great girl and I don’t want to do it.”

What’s the ideal ratio for group sex and why?
I would think a threesome would be awkward because someone would get left out. I think you need a foursome.

A male in his late twenties hasn’t had much sexual experience. He’s nervous about it. Should he tell his new partner up front?
Yeah! He could parlay that into some crazy sex if he plays his cards right. If she’s into that, maybe she wants to be the teacher. But you should be honest anyway, because you can’t lie about how much experience you’ve had. She’s gonna know. “Whoops, wrong hole!”

Are there any words that should never be used to refer to genitalia?

I think “prick” has to go.

What’s a pickup line that’s actually worked for you?
“Your place or mine?”

That worked?
There was a lot of rum involved.

Quynn, 33

What skate move is guaranteed to get me laid? Is there anything so impressive people won’t be able to help themselves?
Oh, “No Comply.” It’s an old-school move that involves, well, spreading your legs.

What’s the best way to pick someone up at a skate park?
Say, “Wow, you make it look so easy.” And just kind of stand there in awe.

What’s the best way to ask someone for their phone number when you’re on a date with someone else?
I’d say, “Oh, this person runs a skating company, they want me to try their product. So I’m gonna get their number.”

How can you ask someone to be your fuck buddy?
Say, “This isn’t really working out, but can I still come over on Tuesdays and Fridays?” I think that would be awesome. I actually was just thinking of saying that like two weeks ago, because I was seeing someone and it wasn’t working out.

How can I spice up a run-of-the-mill handjob?
Don’t just concentrate on the object, concentrate on the person. Kiss them all over while you’re doing it and talk to them. Get erotic, the whole ten yards.

I just consummated a longtime mutual crush with a friend. The sex was horrible, I think because we were both so nervous. How can we make sure our second try lives up to our previous expectations?
Just talk about how you go about having sex — if you experiment, what their fantasies are. Use your past sexual history.

What’s the best way to get a skater to go home with you?
Lie on top of them and start humping them.

Well, that’s direct.
[Laughs] Just say, “Hey, let’s go skating together.” And then they’ll want to hang out with you forever.  

Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Do you have sex-advice questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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