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Sex Advice From Slutever
The sex blogger and VICE columnist on dealbreakers, skinny nerdy guys, and how her mom got into BDSM.
by Alisa MacKay
Karley "Slutever" Sciortino blogs vividly about sex and stars in VICE's Slutever video series. The second season is running now. She recently played a sexy stewardess in this video by Brooklyn electro band Sensual Harassment. Enjoy that after you enjoy our highly informative conversation.
Your public persona is very sexual and, well, slutty. What are your personal rules for dating and fucking? What won't you do? Who won't you fuck? What are your "dealbreakers?"
I have no idea! I used to only want to have sex with guys who were skinny, a little nerdy, had big noses...
Those guys get so much ass in this town.
Now I guess I don't even care. I have girl rules — don't sleep with your friend's ex-boyfriend, or whatever. I think I just don't have that many "rules." The other day, my friend was asking if I thought it was bad if she slept with a married man. I told her, "As long as you realize that you can't date that person, and you're aware of yourself, I think that's his problem, not yours." I mean, if he's not fucking his wife, and he's not fucking you, he's going to be fucking somebody else.
So skinny nerdy guys are still your type?
I think I've broadened a little. I find older guys hot. I think I've always been attracted to people who are ambitious or successful. Not like, "Oh, I can only date successful people." But I used to like those grungy guys in bands. Now I'm like, "Ew. Take a shower and stop being in a band. Because you're, like, twenty-seven."
Fifty Shades of Grey is ubiquitous and it's making conversations about BDSM very mainstream. What do you think is the next kink that people will be reading about on the subway?
I'm not sure, but it's really weird how that book suddenly made BDSM okay. My mom, for instance, is a pretty strict Catholic. She's not a horrible, weird, Republican maniac, but she's conservative. When I was younger, she was always telling me to wait until I was married to have sex. She would watch the Christian channel all the time, and she would tape segments about chastity and waiting to have sex, and she would make me watch them. So, she read Fifty Shades of Grey, and the other day, she was talking to me about S&M, as though it was just... casual. She asked me if I knew what "pussy whipping" was. And I was like, you know, when your boyfriend is "whipped." But she meant, like, whipping a vagina. With an actual whip. But I think that book has really spiced up my parents' sex life! Just last night, I went home, and my mom was in such a good mood.
I'm glad that book is doing some good in the world.
Well, it's still about a submissive girl and a dominant guy. That power dynamic is not being challenged. I think a lot of guys are still unwilling to admit it if they're the ones who want to be dominated.
How does having such a public sex life affect your private sex life?
I have a boyfriend, but he's so outside of this world, that I don't think he even knows or cares. I don't think he reads my blog. He's kind of a nerdy science person. He's not really into weird sex stuff. But my ex, whom I was with for four years, we broke up over my blog. He couldn't deal with it.
In the opening credits of your TV show on Vice, you parody the opening of Sex and the City. That show was a milestone for women talking about sex in the mainstream, even if it got a lot of things wrong.
I know, right?
I'm thinking of this one episode where Carrie keeps sort of tentatively trying to reach for Aidan's balls, as though she's never touched his balls before. Haven't they had sex? Regularly? Like, for years?
Yeah! Totally. So weird.
What shows do you think fulfill the SATC role today?
Well, the answer is Girls, but that's too obvious. I interviewed Lena Dunham before that show came out, and everyone kept saying it was the mumblecore Sex and the City. And she talked about how as much as that show got wrong, she still loved it. And I agree. It was really important. With Girls, I expected it to be racier, but I do like it.
What's the best way for a fan to hit on you?
Anyone telling you they like what you do is a compliment, right? I mean, everyone likes that, right? But the worst is when people try to weirdly backwards-compliment you. People do this to me on Facebook all the time, but it feels so fake. They're trying so hard to not compliment you. "I guess you're kind of hot." "You're hot, but in a really weird way."
It's so transparent when people do that. Being genuine is better.
What's the sweetest interaction you've had with a fan?
I interviewed an adult baby who lives in Thailand. He moved there to start this thing called the Adult Baby Nursery, which is literally a nursery where everything is adult sized. It's like an all-inclusive resort-nursery. There's a nanny who takes care of you. Anyway, I interviewed him and got this email from this twenty-year-old girl who's also an adult baby, which is not something you usually see. She told me that my blog had made her feel a lot less bad about being weird.