Matt, 25

What makes steampunks better in bed?
We're creative; we're imaginative; we're adventurous; we're not afraid to bring a little science and technology into the bedroom. And we have brass balls.

I'm really into steampunk, but my girlfriend isn't. I spend a lot of my time doing related stuff — and so far, it's working, but I'm worried. Do opposites really attract, or should I find someone more similar to me?
Well, of course steampunks tend to like other steampunks because we really put a lot of ourselves into the lifestyle. However, I don't think it's necessary that both parties be steampunks for there to be compatibility. I do think, though, that if one of them just doesn't get it and sees steampunk as just childish dressing up or immature "make believe" then I don't think it will work.

My girlfriend has recently been exploring her interest in sex toys. At first I was happy to explore, but she obviously wants to go a lot farther than I do. Should I suck it up for her sake, or find a way to let her know that it's a little too much for me?
Well, I think it all depends on what "a lot farther" is and the comfort of both parties. If the girl wants to, say, shove an egg beater into herself and that makes you uncomfortable, I would say you should let her know that that isn't kosher for you. If it's simply a matter of trying new toys and things you haven't tried yet and you're simply not used to the idea of toys, suck it up and try it. It never hurts to expand your boundaries in bed a bit and try new things.

My boyfriend hasn't come out to his parents yet. It's becoming increasingly hard to take the next step in our relationship because of it. I understand what he's going through, but I'm getting impatient. What do I do?
Keep being patient. It can be a very, very difficult thing coming out to parents, especially if his family is religious or conservative. With all the stories of people being beaten to death or being disowned for coming out, it's very understandable that he's nervous. All you can do is support him, tell him you're there, and make sure he knows that you'll help him whenever he's ready to come out. I know some people who have never come out to their parents due to fear, even into middle age. 

My friend and I are constantly attracted to the same women. I really like them and he only wants to fuck. They always choose him. Is there something wrong with me or am I looking for the wrong type of girl?
That's kind of a tough one. I can promise you that there is (most likely) nothing wrong with you. Maybe the girls you like just go for the more adventurous type who they can fuck. A lot of women feel more "secure" with the quick-fuck kind of guy because there isn't nearly as much fear of rejection, attachment, commitment, and emotional pain. You can do a number of things here. Firstly, you can keep pushing on in hopes you'll find the type of girl you like who does just want a simple, old-fashioned relationship. Secondly, you can think about opening up and being a bit more forward with these types of girls you like. Thirdly, maybe talk to your friend and ask if he can back down occasionally with a couple of them and instead be a wing-man for you and help you get the girl. A real friend would gladly help you do that. Lastly, there is always the possibility that there is something wrong with you.

I just moved in with my boyfriend, and after years of awesome sex, we've become a cliche. We actually don't have sex more than once a week. Sometimes, that's because one of us is out, but other times, we get in bed at the same time and just go to sleep. How can we get the spark back?
That's actually extremely common, but the spark is easy to get back. Try something new and spice things up a bit. Maybe plan a super-romantic evening that leads to a romp in bed. You can also try something new in the sack, too. Add in some simple BDSM elements like handcuffs and blindfolds, go to a sex shop and get the newest and best sex toy and try it out. Another thing that tends to work is to be a little adventurous. Add a bit of danger to your sexings. Maybe try fucking outdoors somewhere or against an open window. If you two are already really adventurous and are also very secure in your relationship, bring in a third party.

If "The Steampunk" were a sexual position, what would it be?
Probably something to do with exhibitionism, due to steampunks' adventurous nature. Personally, when I think of steampunk as a sexual position, I think of the girl bent over against a wall with her skirt hiked up in the back with the guy fucking her from behind, but that's just me.

Commentarium (37 Comments)

Mar 14 11 - 1:55am

Tommy is quite the charmer. I'd take his calling card any day of the week.

Mar 14 11 - 2:37am

Um, Lady Clankington doesn't look like a real human being. She resembles an old west, mutated mannequin. Yikes.

Mar 14 11 - 5:31am

Just a question, does she have breast implants? I can't tell if its the corset doing that or if they are just fake.

Mar 14 11 - 8:34am

Pretty sure it's just the corset. If you waist-train you can get down pretty small, and the general shape of her body isn't that of a girl with a small frame and breast implants.

Mar 14 11 - 2:18pm

That outfit should be against the law. I'm scared for her internal organs.

Mar 14 11 - 11:55pm

It's photoshopped. Yes, she is wearing a tight corset and has a tiny waist, but you can see the marks from sloppy clone-stamp around her waist.

Mar 14 11 - 11:58pm

You can see from this candid pic she has a n0rmal slender build....

Mar 23 11 - 1:53pm

I was at the shoot. she models for loads of places. I know for a fact there was no photoshop. How do I know? I made the corset.

Mar 14 11 - 8:33am

Funny, gorgeous and dishing out good advice? Tommy wins this round.

Mar 14 11 - 10:35am

I'll second that. Tommy FTW!

Mar 14 11 - 12:11pm

Disagree... I thought his advice was pretty terrible actually!

Mar 14 11 - 11:18pm

Well Ryan, while I disagree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it

Mar 14 11 - 11:55pm

His advice is terrible, but he is a qt

Mar 14 11 - 9:07am

"steampunk" isn't a noun, it's an adjective

Mar 14 11 - 9:59am

How about a verb?

Mar 14 11 - 10:14am

Down, Nazi! It may be correctly used as both an adjective and a noun.

Mar 15 11 - 12:50am

And a verb. It is quite common "to steampunk" an object

Mar 23 11 - 1:59pm

not a noun?

Steampunk: noun
[mass noun]
a genre of science fiction that typically features steam-powered machinery rather than advanced technology.

Mar 14 11 - 10:50am

Matt actually had pretty good advice. Well done, sir.

Mar 14 11 - 1:09pm

I want to smack all of them.

Mar 14 11 - 11:13pm

Sounds like fun ;)

Mar 22 11 - 8:24pm

Why are we being smacked?

Mar 14 11 - 3:16pm

Lady Clankington looks suspiciously like a Real Doll to me. Not because of the tiny waist, but because her face and skin look synthetic.

Mar 14 11 - 10:03pm

I second that. Let that be a lesson to ya, Photoshoppers!

Mar 23 11 - 1:54pm

Actually, her skin really is that good.

Mar 14 11 - 11:25pm

Even if I don't like steampunk, I still wanted to hear what that Tommy had to say. Ow! Ow!

Mar 15 11 - 1:02pm
Oh my

Tommy IS something, isn't he? I would certainly take more than his calling card...

Mar 18 11 - 8:52pm

Can Tommy be real? So cute and charming, and with a sense of humor! I don't think I'd need to fake a swoon. <3

Mar 19 11 - 9:20pm

A well made corset would do exactly what her corset does for her without pain or any internal damage. I see no photo shop evidence. It just a good corset worn tight.

Mar 19 11 - 10:37pm

Matt is pretty awesome imo and gives great advice :)

Mar 19 11 - 10:51pm
thee gartisan

@fee garden: I've met Lady Clankington & hung out with at a couple events. Her skin is very nice!

Mar 20 11 - 12:50am

Not going to lie - I kind of want one of Lady Clankington's little death rays:

Mar 20 11 - 12:51am

I'd do the steampunk with Tommy any time...

Mar 21 11 - 12:59am

Thank you all for the kind words! If you're interested in Steampunk at all, you should check out my group: VSteam -

Mar 22 11 - 8:09pm

It saddens me to see all of the comments about Miss Clankington as she really is that beautiful in real life and her body is an average womans body with curves and hips, she just does corset training.

But anywho, for those who liked the advice of Matt, which would be myself, you can always go check out my hand-crafted steampunk jewelery on facebook:

Mar 26 11 - 12:56am

Good bunch! And props for the criminal code!