Sex Advice From . . . Stunt Performers

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Dan, 36

My boyfriend is a cheap tipper. What can I do about this?
Tell him your mom’s a waitress.

What’s the best way to deal with on-set romances?
When I used to do live-action stunt shows, I dated one of the stunt girls. At that point, there were two Dans: work Dan and home Dan. When you’re at work, it doesn’t look professional if you’re hugging on each other. So when you get home and you’re having fun away from work, you have to be sure to show your feelings in a strong way.


How do I score someone who seems unattainable?
I see some of the cutest girls with the ugliest guys and I just can’t figure it out. It must be about having a great personality. Know when to walk away.

What’s a risky first date?
Go rappelling. Take them out to do a little rock climbing and teach them how to rappel off the side of a cliff. That’s a good way to break the ice.

Any tips for picking up movie stars?
Don’t act star-struck or say, “I love your work.”

My boyfriend and I recently met a couple of swingers. He’s really into the idea of trying it. Can we do it once and then go back to monogamy?
No. It will destroy the relationship. If you’re in love with the person, don’t even go there.

I’m self-conscious about my body. How can I get over this?
If the girl is self-conscious, the guy needs to be willing to do whatever is comfortable for her. If she wants the lights off, shut them off. If she wants to sit there and talk, then talk.

Rich, 29

How can I pick up a movie star?
A lot of people I work with in the industry like to talk about themselves a lot. So for them, the less you say, the more interesting you are.

I can only hook up with girls when I’m drunk. How can I boost my confidence?
Start slow. Say hi to complete strangers. Work your way up to the point where you can feel comfortable about walking up to someone and starting a conversation. A lot of times people won’t do that unless they’re drunk, and then they just start going off about something and end up sounding dumb.

What’s the best way to deal with on-set or professional romances?
Don’t dip your pen in the company ink. That’s why celebrity romances don’t work out. What do you have to talk about at the end of the day? You need someone who’s your completely opposite so you can have interesting conversations. And a lot of the problems have to do with jealousy. If I’m dating another stunt girl and she’s getting a lot of work and I’m not, I’m going to be jealous. If you go out for the same role, that’s just as frustrating.

How do I score someone who’s unattainable?
I’m still trying to figure that one out. I think a lot of it has to do with confidence and being confident, but not cocky. Do you what you do best, and if they don’t notice you for that, then they’re not worth it. Probably the reason they’re unattainable is because they’re an ass.

Luci, 24Christian

How can I pick up a movie star?
Become an extra. Don’t over-flatter them. If you really respect their work, you can tell them so, but don’t go on and on about it. They put on their pants one leg at a time just like everyone else. Be aware of their space and their time. You can tell if someone is into talking or if they just want you to go away.

My boyfriend wants to film us having sex, but I’m self-conscious about my body. Does the camera really add ten pounds?
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea. The camera does add a little bit of weight — I wouldn’t say ten pounds, but different people carry their weight differently on camera. It’s definitely a good way to spice it up as long as it’s done in the privacy of your own home and you’re careful about it. You could potentially pick up some tips.

What’s the best way to tease a man in the bedroom?
Make him feel comfortable. Go slow. At the same time, see if you can push his limits. See what he’s willing to try. If he doesn’t feel comfortable then hold back until he’s ready. And be positive. Don’t be like, “You suck at this.”

How can I get a date with someone who seems unattainable?
If it’s worth it to you to risk complete rejection, feel out the situation. They’re either going to like you for you or it wasn’t meant to be.

I think my girlfriend has been reading my email. Do I confront her?
I would, but don’t get angry right away. Obviously if she cares enough to check it, that’s a good thing in some way.

Jason, 26

I can only hook up with girls when I’m drunk. How can I date while sober?
Talk to other people who are more successful with girls, and talk to girls that you’re scoring with when you aren’t drunk to find out how to fix your sober social life. You’re probably just too high-strung when you’re sober and need to calm down.
What sort of stunts can my girlfriend and I try in bed?
Hell, if your girlfriend is a contortionist there are a lot of things you can do. It depends on how kinky you are. You can rig something up or try things outside of the bed.

What could we rig up?
Something to help you get into better positions, like a swing. Something so you’re not propping yourself up the whole time will makes things easier for both of you.

How can I snag a movie star?
Movie stars get hit on multiple times a day and hear the same things over and over again. Try to be unique and fun so they remember you physically. Just understand that there is a lot of media going on in their life, and they have a lot of people who don’t always have the best intentions, so they have their guard up all the time. Make them keep you in their mind.

My boyfriend wants to film us having sex. Bad idea?
As long as you’re keeping track of the original tape and who’s taping, it can be a good thing. It’s only bad if there’s a harsh break up and you lose track of the tape, because you don’t want that on the Internet all over the place. But be aware: when performers are watching themselves, they’re much more critical of themselves than they are of other people.  

Interviews by Nichole Marks. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to

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