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Sex Advice from . . . Sudoku Champions

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Last week, Nerve attended the World Sudoku Championships in Prague to solicit advice about puzzles in the bedroom, adult virginity and how not to come off like a nerd on a first date.

Thomas, 27
Team America
Final rank: 1st
www.motris.livejournal.com


I’m the kind of girl who likes to stay home on weekends and do Sudoku puzzles, but my boyfriend would rather go out all the time. How can we reconcile our differences?
I face this all the time. It’s hard to find a middle ground. But dating someone who’s more outgoing

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can help you work out your social anxieties. There’s some truth to the saying that opposites can work in a relationship.

Men think my love for Sudoku must mean I’m boring. How can I get them to look past that?
I get that all the time. There are always people that will see you for the one thing they first learn about you. Your problem might be that you’re using Sudoku as your icebreaker. Pick something else to lead off with.

Is faking an orgasm dishonest?
I think it’s a horrible thing to do. More communication is the better way to go. I think most people could be successful lovemakers if they could talk about what works and what doesn’t.

I’m a virgin, and this seems to freak guys out. They seem to think I’ll latch onto them forever if they pop my cherry. Should I lie about it to potential partners?
I think there are a whole lot of guys out there, and I’m one of them, that would see this as a good thing. I think some people would see it as meaning you’re someone who has given the sexual act some weight. Of course, there’s a whole other group that would see it as a matter of a conquest.

My boyfriend doesn’t want to tell me how many people he’s slept with. Do you think it’s better to keep this number secret, or is honesty really the best policy?
This is the one question that’s going to have the most lies. There’s the multiply by three, divide by three rule — men will make their number higher, women will make theirs lower. It’s the elephant in the room. I don’t know if there’s ever any good end to that conversation.

I have a crush on a puzzle-solving champion. Any tips for seducing them?
Write him a love note in Sudoku form.

Wei-Hwa, 31
Team America
Final rank: 34th
www.onigame.livejournal.com

I recently started dating this very hot, very nice guy — he’s just not that bright. Should I stay with him anyway ?
How important is intelligence to you in a relationship? I like my girlfriend very much, and part of the reason I find her invaluable is because she’s very intelligent. But if I only restricted myself to girls that come to Sudoku championships, I’d be pretty limited. I like my current girlfriend for both her attractiveness and intelligence. I know I’m no hunk either.

What’s the best way to bring Sudoku into the bedroom?
For our one-month anniversary, my girlfriend created a puzzle hunt for me that included Sudoku. I worked on it while we were cuddling.

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Should I confront him or snoop around for evidence first?
This is a judgment call. It depends on your boyfriend’s personality. If there’s no evidence, will he try to weasel his way out, or own up? That’s something you’ll have to observe and decide on your own.

I’m the kind of girl that likes to stay home on weekends and do puzzles, but my boyfriend would rather go out all the time. How can we reconcile our differences?
It all depends on what you’re expecting from your partner. If I’m with a partner that expects me to give up my hobbies, I’m going to find someone else unless they’re really good in bed.

Is it okay to fake an orgasm?
Why would a girl want to fake? She thinks a guy wants her to because he won’t be satisfied if she doesn’t, but orgasms aren’t everything. I love my girlfriend and she loves me, and orgasms have nothing to do with it.


Ariane, 26
Captain, Team Great Britain
Editor, www.puzzler.com

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few years, and he never wants to have sex anymore. Is it okay to ask if I can seek sex outside the relationship?
Definitely ask if that’s what you want. There’s no point in remaining unhappy.

My boyfriend doesn’t want to tell me how many people he’s slept with. Do you think it’s better to keep this number secret, or is honesty really the best policy?
It’s nice to be honest, but you can’t force him to tell you. And the further into a relationship you go, the more honesty seeps out of the woodwork naturally, so to speak. The number will eventually emerge.

I have a crush on a puzzle-solving champion. Any tips for seducing them?
Always have a puzzle at hand. A difficult one. These people love puzzles. If you’re doing one, they’re going to be looking over your shoulder to see how difficult it is. You want to impress them.

I’m the kind of girl that likes to stay home on weekends and do Sudoku puzzles, but my boyfriend would rather go out all the time. How can we reconcile our differences?
It depends what kind of relationship you’re looking for. If you don’t mind being alone while your boyfriend goes out, then it’s okay. But if you want the type of boyfriend where you’re sharing lots of things, I don’t think it can work.

Faking an orgasm: okay or not?
Sure. She might still be enjoying herself, just not feeling the moment. It’s more about two people being close and intimate.

What’s the best way to bring Sudoku into the bedroom?
Write puzzles on each others’ backs with marker.


Rob, 30
Team Ireland
Final rank: 131st place


I recently started dating this very hot, very nice guy — he’s just not that bright. Should I stay with him anyway?
How nice is he, and how much do you like him? What are your conversations like? If they’re dull, it’s not going to last.

I have a crush on a puzzle-solving champion. Any tips for seducing them?
I’ve never been anywhere near a Sudoku champ. I think the Irish team placed dead last. We really came here just for the beer.

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Should I confront him or snoop around for evidence first?
Can’t say I’m an advocate of snooping. It’s better to just say something.

Is it okay to fake an orgasm?
Not okay. There’s always some way you can try to do better. If you’re not satisfying someone, there’s not much point, is there?

I’m a virgin, and this seems to freak guys out. They think I’ll latch onto them forever if they pop my cherry. Should I just lie about it to potential partners?
Where are you telling the guy? In the pub before you go home, or are you telling him in the bedroom? I don’t think going around a pub telling guys you’re a virgin is a good idea. You’re probably going to pick up a guy that’s really into that sort of thing.

My boyfriend is still good friends with his ex, and it makes me wildly jealous. Is it fair for me to ask him to stop hanging out with her?
You have to let him know you’re uncomfortable with the closeness. You can’t tell him he can’t be in contact with her, but you’d better remind him that you’re his girlfriend.
 

Interviews by Hilda Hoy. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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