Sex Advice from Swing Dancers

Q: “Are dancers better in bed?” A: “Strong core muscles, knowledge of how to move their hips, plenty of endurance. Hell, yes.”

By Samuel Axon

Braden, 23

I've heard swing dancers travel to "dance exchanges" in far-away cities. Do you ever hook up at these exchanges?
I never have, though there’s no reason I couldn't have. I mean, you spend a weekend getting all sweaty and close with people, not to mention drinking copiously. I think the big thing though is to remember that the primary objective of most dancers is to dance. If they think you're more interested in getting in their pants than dancing, you just come off as a creeper.

Are dancers really better in bed?
Hell yes. I mean, come on now — strong core muscles, intimate knowledge of how to move their hips, not to mention plenty of endurance.

What is a "swing out," and what can it teach me about sex and dating?
A swing out is one of the single hardest moves of any partner dance in existence. It contains elements of trust, self-control, communication, feeling good and having fun.

My boyfriend wants to finish on my face when we're having sex, but I think it's degrading to women, and to me. He's been trying to convince me that it's just a new level of intimacy. We're kind of at an impasse here. What should we do?
Intimacy? Really? No. It's a new level of porn star. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the hot porn-star action, but if it's not something you're comfortable with, don't do it. And if he's going to be a prick about it, you could always rub it in his face and see how he likes it.

I know this is petty, but I hate my boyfriend’s Facebook picture. I'm almost embarrassed to be seen "in a relationship" with him. Do I get a say?
I think it's important to be attracted to the one you’re with, but let's assume for the moment that you are, and it's just the picture you have an issue with. If that's the case, and this is that big of an issue to you, then it's clear that you care more about how he makes you look, as opposed to the man himself. So ask yourself: is he a trophy, or is he someone you're actually interested in?

What should I do if I'm on a date with a guy and he starts getting all into dominant/submissive talk and activities? I'm not interested in that kind of play, but he seems like a great guy otherwise.
Tell him, duh. Seriously, talk this shit out early — as soon as subjects like this start to come up. Maybe it's a vital part of him getting his rocks off, and thus it's a dealbreaker for him if you're not into it. If that's the case, then you can part ways amicably and not have to go through a bunch of pointless drama.

I'm a proud lesbian, and I've just started dating an amazing woman. As a person she knocks my socks off — she's so caring, and she's amazing in bed, but she hates all the music, art, and movies I love, and I'm not a big fan of her tastes either. If I'd seen her online-dating profile, I'd have moved on right away. Can we work it out anyway?
If you're a very independent person, and so is she, then it may not matter so much, since you'll both spend a lot of time doing your own thing anyway. If one or the other really likes sharing those pastimes, then maybe it's time to move on. There are plenty of hot sexy lesbians in the sea.

I was a virgin before I started seeing my boyfriend. After a couple of months of going out, we finally had sex, and it was great, but then he revealed to me that he'd been lying when he told me he wasn't a virgin, too. It turns out he was, but he was afraid I wouldn't sleep with him if I knew. I feel totally betrayed. What should I do?
Take a nap. No, seriously, take a nap. Then call him up, and talk to him. Was it wrong for him to lie? Hells yes. Is it really a betrayal? Hells no. He's just insecure. So talk to him. Also decide if the insecurity is a dealbreaker or not.

Commentarium (11 Comments)

Feb 08 11 - 11:06am
WithAnInotanE

Just cause youre on top, don't lie there! Good line and good general attitude!

Feb 08 11 - 1:41pm
nn

Erm... I've been a swing dancer, but honestly, swing dancers are generally huge geeks by nature. Since when are we looking to gamers, geeks, nerds, etc. on how to get laid?

Feb 09 11 - 7:23pm
Pulp

You are hanging out with the wrong dancers. And by the same token, isn't everyone a geek about something once you get to know them?

Feb 10 11 - 10:34am
ana

Finding compatible geeks *is* how geeks get laid! Gaming, swing dance, BDSM . . . this is how we meet our kind!

Feb 08 11 - 3:51pm
jewlgurl

It's all about sensuality and enjoying your sexuality - dancing helps get the moves down, but it's not a requirement to have a great time in bed!

Feb 08 11 - 4:47pm
girlJ

I was completely on board with Jame until her last answer. I wouldn't go so far as to call what this girl's boyfriend did a "betrayal" - it would seem like more of a betrayal if the circumstances were reversed and he claimed that he was a virgin when he was not, because he probably used his status as an excuse to avoid safe sex. However, it is an issue that deserves something more than a "talk so you can build up trust!" brush-off. Great answers otherwise!

Feb 08 11 - 7:18pm
dinosaurs

I took a swing dancing class for a couple of months. My dancing did not improve. Nor did my sexual prowess. 2 birds with 1 stone, but the opposite way.

Feb 08 11 - 10:03pm
Blood Pressure Formula

I do know this was a very interesting post thanks for writing it!

Feb 10 11 - 12:08am
JCF

Some of the ads the ad server chose based on the content of this article are funny!

Feb 10 11 - 6:14pm
SS

Are we back in time? Is this 1998? Who the fuck swing dances anymore?

Feb 11 11 - 2:29pm
MJN

I do! And a ton of people in my area. It's great fun.