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Sex Advice from . . . Taggers

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Dies One, 27

What can tagging teach us about sex?
You need to scope out your spot first to see if people can see you, and don’t get caught.

I’m shy and prefer staying in. My boyfriend goes out with his friends almost every night. I miss him! How can we get past this?
Go tagging with him and be a decoy. If the cops come, you can make out and that’ll be his cover.

promotion

I want to start a threesome, but I don’t trust the Internet. Where should I look?
I don’t want to say a bar — maybe the library, a coffee shop. Start rubbing one guy’s crotch, and then another guy’s crotch, look them both in the eyes and then take them to your house.

I’m in a committed relationship. My buddy’s bachelor party is next week, and I know there’ll be strippers and lap dances. Do I have to tell her I’m going?
Don’t be a pussy about it. Tell her, “I’m going to a bachelor party and seeing strippers.” It’s not like you’re having sex with them. Tell her, “I was thinking of you the whole time, baby.”

I like to get stoned before sex, but sometimes it makes it difficult to get off. Any advice?
Practice during the day by yourself. Get some masturbation in, drink lots of water, take some multivitamins and weed won’t affect you too much.

How do I get a tagger into bed?
Say, “I got mad cans in my house, and some weed.” Erotic Pictionary works too. That got me once.

Ribin, 31

Can becoming a tagger make me better in bed?
They’re both about the release of inhibitions. If you’re uninhibited enough to take the risk and go out tagging, you’ll probably be uninhibited in bed as well.

I want to have a threesome. What do I need to know?
You’re asking for drama. I know because when I was younger, I was pretty uninhibited. Think back to elementary school: You have two best friends, and one gets jealous when you’re playing with the other one. People get jealous, people get hurt. You have to think twice before you do this.

My ex says she’s cool with just being friends, but she texts me three times a day. I don’t want to hurt her, but my new girl is uncomfortable. What should I do?
Limits definitely need to be set. She might still have feelings for you. Her stalking you isn’t letting you move forward with your new relationship. Let your ex know that. If that doesn’t work, change your number.

I’m in a committed relationship. My buddy’s bachelor party is next week, and I know there’ll be strippers and lap dances. Do I have to tell my girlfriend I’m going?
In my opinion, that’s entertainment. Those girls get paid to do what they do. They tend to have limits. If my man was going to a bachelor party with a stripper, I wouldn’t mind.

I’m in a relationship, but I occasionally pay a dominatrix to spank me. Is that cheating?
Yes. If you’re doing anything that gets you off behind your partner’s back, that’s cheating. If your girlfriend wants to spank you, that’s fine.

I spent all my cash on flowpens, spraypaint and bail. Now it’s my girl’s birthday. What should I do?
A lot of taggers are thieves too, so you could shoplift something nice for her.


Eryn, 26
www.myspace.com/skeinandable

My ex says she’s cool with just being friends, but she texts me three times a day. I don’t want to hurt her, but my new girl is uncomfortable. What should I do?
Tell your ex to chill the fuck out, and show your new girl the text to prove that you tried to get the ex off your back.

I’m shy and prefer staying in. My boyfriend goes out with his friends almost every night. I miss him! How can we get past this?
You’re just going to need to drink heavily once in a while and get over it. Go out on the town with him, or he’s just going to find someone who isn’t a hermit to spend his time with.

My girlfriend is addicted to her vibrator. Now it takes hours to get her off. What should I do?
Get her some desensitizing cream, or ask her to take it easy with the rubber boyfriend. If she keeps this up, she’s going to lose all feeling — and all real-human sex.

Is hiring a dominatrix to spank me cheating?
Depends. Have you asked your partner to do it and he or she won’t? I don’t think it’s cheating, but I do think it’s being secretive and shady, and that’s not okay. If you need to get spanked, you should find someone to be with who’s into that too. The best way to know when you’ve found your one true love is when all the kinks match up.

I’m in a committed relationship. My buddy’s bachelor party is next week, and I know there’ll be strippers and lap dances. Do I have to tell my girlfriend I’m going?
How rational is your woman? The most mature thing to do would be to tell her there’s a bachelor party and see what limits she sets for your behavior. Maybe you can both have a get-out-of-jail-free card for one night, and tell each other the juicy details when you get home and use all that sexy adrenaline on each other till morning.


Chief, 31
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaqgKMrmTbE

I met my fiancĂ© doing street art. Now she’s designing album covers and I’m still tagging bus windows. I’m starting to resent her success. How do I deal with this?
Step up your own game. See how she did it. See what you can do with what she knows. Don’t be macho about it — ask for her advice, get her opinions.

My ex says she’s cool with just being friends, but she texts me three times a day. I don’t want to hurt her, but my new girl is uncomfortable. What should I do?
Break it off! Break it off! Don’t even be friends. You can’t be friends with that ex. You can’t. It affects the next person you’re with, and it’s just a lot of hanging on to the past.

What can tagging teach us about sex?
It’s good day or night, but during the day, you’ve got to be real slick about it.

Is hiring a dominatrix to spank me cheating?
In a way, yes, because you’re probably spending good money on a dominatrix to slap you up that you could’ve spent taking your girl out to dinner or buying her flowers.

How do I get a graffiti writer into bed?
Spray paint a trail to your room for him to follow.
 

Interviews by Katie Wudel. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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