Advice

Sex Advice From The Big Lebowski Fest

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Q: What has The Dude taught you about sex? A: That long-haired, average-looking men can still have a good time and get laid.

Andrew, 42

Why should we listen to The Dude's advice when it comes to sex?
The Dude is all about self-pleasure and enjoyment. And that works out nicely. 

What's the best reason to date a Big Lebowski fan?
We know how to roll. We know how to knock 'em down and set 'em back up again. 

My girlfriend and I just moved into a new apartment building with thin walls. When we have sex, she can be very vocal. I'm worried that our neighbors are beginning to hate us and will complain. Is there something I can say to her so she'll quiet down, or should I just roll with it?
Take a tape recorder into a bowling alley and the sounds of knocking down all the pins will cover all the sex noises. 

What has The Dude taught you about sex?
The Dude has taught me that long-haired average-looking men can still have a good time and get laid. 

And all your hair is real? I've seen guys around with fake beards.
Yeah, it's all real. I've been growing it out for a year for Lebowski Fest. I don't know why, but I did. 

My boyfriend loves The Eagles. Should I dump him?
Yes. It's fucking nonsense.  Except for "Seven Bridges Road." I like that tune.

I recently went on a first date and when the girl was in the other room, I peeked at her DVD collection. It was full of pretty awful stuff. I had a great time on the date, but I'm worried about her taste. Should this be a dealbreaker?
No. It's called Netflix. Tell her to get HBO and Netflix and you're back in business. 

Jesus, 21

What's the best reason to date a Big Lebowski fan?
They're easy. 

Even though you're dressed like Jesus from the film, what can The Dude teach us about sex?
Not to underachieve. 

What's the best way to approach someone in a bowling alley?
Walk up to them and offer to show them some of your techniques. Also, hope they aren't a better a bowler than you. Otherwise it won't work. 

My boyfriend loves The Eagles. Should I dump him?
Yes. 

I'm my boyfriend's first lover. He's one of the biggest, uh, men I've ever seen, but I don't think he knows it. Should I tell him, or will he get a big head about it?
I'm sure he knows. If you really think he doesn't — if he doesn't already walk around like he has a big dick — then don't tell him. Ever. 

I recently met someone, but any possible romance was cut short when she moved. Should I try to make a long-distance thing work or give up and be content with being friends?
Give up. Long distance never or rarely works. That’s why you don't hear too many people talking about how much they love their long-distance relationship.  

I'm recently separated and been having a tough time getting back out into the dating world. What's the best thing I can do to ease myself back out there?
See what else is out there, man. Go to a bar and try to get laid. Don't try and rush back into being in a committed relationship.

I recently went on a first date and when the girl was in the other room, I peeked at her DVD collection. It was full of pretty awful stuff. I had a great time on the date, but I'm worried about her taste. Should this be a dealbreaker?
No. Every girl is going to have something you're not going like, unless you're really, really into movies. So just play to her tastes every once and a while.  

The Dude, ageless

Why should you listen to The Dude when it comes to sex advice?
The Dude abides, man. 

What's the best reason to date a Big Lebowski fan?
We know how to have fun.

What's the best way to approach someone in a bowling alley?
Walk up to her in your Dude costume. 

My boyfriend loves The Eagles. Should I dump him?
Nah. It really doesn't matter.

I recently met someone, but any possible romance was cut short when she moved. Should I try to make a long distance thing work or give up and be content with being friends?
Hard to say. You gotta follow your heart on that.

What would The Dude do?
What he's always done, man. Give and take. Some of them come, some of them go. Sometimes you just gotta learn the hard way to let 'em pass by.

I'm recently separated and been having a tough time getting back out into the dating world. What's the best thing I can do to ease myself back out there?
The first thing you have to do is find out what makes you happy and work out from there. 

What has The Dude taught you about sex?
She's not my special lady. She's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man.