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Sex Advice from . . . The Central Park Makeout Party

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One week ago, a mass makeout party was hosted in Central Park by an anonymous MySpace member to "promote shameless kissing in public." Nerve asked four of the attendees for their tips on vouyeurism and sex in public.

Chelsea, 23

I think a lot of people came alone to this event thinking they’d make out with somebody. What’s the etiquette on making out with strangers?
Ask permission first, of course. And be respectful of what everybody’s signals are, whether they be verbal, non-verbal or whatnot. You have to be good communicator.

Have you had sex in a public place?
Yes.

What’s a good place to do it?
Bars are pretty easy. On the dance floor. Not a lot of people are looking there.

promotion


How would you suggest having sex in a public place to a potential partner?
It depends on how well you know them. If it’s someone you’ve been with for a long time, it’s easier to bring these kinds of things up. But you can always take note of something happening in a movie you’re watching or whatever and use it as a segue, like, "Hey, that seems hot."

What do you do if you get caught?
Smile, apologize and zip up your pants.

My boyfriend is always the submissive in bed and I’m always dominant. Now I want to try being submissive. How can I reverse our usual roles without explicitly asking?
Again, I think that if you’re watching movies or reading erotica or something like that, you can always kind of mention what you like and discuss it out of the bedroom setting. I used to work at a store where we talked about asking one’s sex date to make a "Yes," "No," and "Maybe" list. You can do things you’re both definitely interested in, things you’re maybe interested in and skip things you’re definitely not interested in.

ChelseaMy boyfriend and I have been together for three years and the sex has become routine. Is this a sign that our relationship is dwindling? Should I jump ship? If not, what should I do?
It depends on whether you’re still attracted to that person or not. There are always things you can do to bring back the passion. Plan dates. Take time to really devote to one another instead of just seeing each other at the end of the day when you’re both tired from work. There’s workshops you can go to, sex-toy stores, there’s events you can attend, movies you can watch, erotica you can read, old places you can visit that you both used to go — it can all be new and exciting again.

My boyfriend and I just had a threesome with a stranger and it was awkward. Any advice for keeping the three-person dynamic comfortable for all?
Figure out what everybody’s interested in beforehand — what you all want to do, what you don’t want to do. Hopefully everyone will be respectful and talk about what your hopes and dream and desires are. Don’t just rush into it.


MikeMike, 34

Is this your first time attending a makeout party?
Yes.

Have you ever attended an orgy?
Yeah. It was the best night of my life.

Any recommendations for good public places to have sex?
The band shell in Prospect Park.

How would you suggest having sex in a public place to a potential partner?
I don’t suggest it. I take her by the hand and I drag her to a certain place, give her a suggestive look, and then pretend I’m looking around to make sure no one’s watching us. Then I go for it.

My partner wants to have sex in the woods. Should I accept?
Sex outside is overrated. Nature is very uncomfortable. It’s like sex with food — it’s never comfortable. It’s one of those things that’s supposed to be erotic, but you wind up with bug bites and grass in your crack.

Are there any ground rules when it comes to exhibitionism?
It’s helpful to be drunk, and it’s good to have the appearance of being clothed even if you’re actually having sex with somebody. So, if you get caught, you can snap to quickly.

Keep your shoes on?
Yeah, it’s best to keep your shoes on.

My boyfriend is always the submissive in bed and I’m always dominant. I want to try being the submissive. How can I reverse our roles without just asking?
Grab him by the wrists, lie on your back and say, "No, please, don’t take me!"

My boyfriend and I are at a rocky point in out relationship. He suggested we take a two-week trip together in an attempt to rekindle our feelings. Good idea or bad idea?
Bad idea. That’s only going to magnify everything that’s wrong with the relationship.

AnneyAnney, 30

Is this your first time attending a makeout party?
Yes it is.

Have you ever attended an orgy?
I tried to go to an orgy once, but it didn’t happen. But I was on board to go to an orgy. My friend’s birthday party the previous year was an orgy, so I was like, oh, I have to go this year. I was hoping that there would be an orgy again, but there was no orgy.

I want to kiss a total stranger. What’s the etiquette?
Binaca, or a selection of breath mints. Offer a selection of gum, candy, condoms, popcorn, etc.

You’ve obviously made out in public before. I just watched you make out. Have you had sex in a public place?
Nope, not yet.

Are there any ground rules when it comes to exhibitionism?
Don’t do it around the children. Don’t do it around the police precinct. Take a bath. Comb your hair, for Christ sake.

The woman in the apartment across the street is often walking around her apartment naked. Recently, when she saw me watching her, she winked and smiled. How can I get with her in a tactful, yet equally erotic way?
Do shadow-puppet shows. Erotic shadow puppet shows in the window. Turn the lights down and get a flashlight. Do a little make-out performance with paper cutouts.

My boyfriend and I are at a rocky point in out relationship. Should we take a trip together to try to work things out?
If he’s paying, then go. There’s nothing like hotel sex, and that could be just the thing. If it doesn’t work, you can dump him right after you get back.

How can I make my boyfriend submissive in bed?
A six-pack and a bullwhip, and dress him up in your clothes.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and the formerly wild sex is now routine. Should I jump ship?
Yeah, you should just dump him. If it’s not on, it’s not on.

How can I teach myself to deep-throat?
Practice on oversize Polish pickles.

RichardRichard, 24

I want to spontaneously kiss a total stranger. Any advice?
I would start with the lips — just shoving your tongue down their throat is a good way to get a weird look.

Have you had sex in a public place?
Oh, yeah.

If I wanted to try it, where would you recommend?
The park’s always good, especially at nighttime. Rooftops are very good. By the water somewhere is always nice. I like beaches. In Mexico the beaches were always good. A trapeze net! Ahh . . . I did it in a trapeze net.

Were you at the circus?
No, I used to work at Club Med in Mexico. If you’re on the beach, you want to make sure you’re in a beach chair, because if you do it on the actual beach, you get sand everywhere.

Sand in the vagina is a bummer.
Sand in the penis, in the ass, in the mouth, whatever. Even if you take a shower afterward, it gets in your bed. Sand in the bed is worse than sand in the vagina because you can always do a little cleaning in there, but in the bed, you never really know where it is.

What do you do if you get caught?
Try to say something along the lines of, "You’ve never done this before, either?" And if they say no, you should say, "Try it some time. You’ll love it." You’ve got to level with cops. You can’t be an asshole. You’ve got to be a nice guy. "We’re just having fun. You know, we’re just two young kids here. We’re in love." I’m not making out with anyone. This fucking blows.

I’m sorry. I’m taking up all your time.
No, trust me, you’re not taking up any of my good time. There are so many prudes around. A lot of people at make out parties need drugs, but I don’t think you do. It’s all about lowering inhibitions, and a lot of people have difficulty lowering inhibitions. I say fuck inhibitions. The government’s trying to keep us down.

They’re not going to keep us down at this makeout party.
We’re going to make out without drugs! Sober. I’ll make out with my hand if I have to, I don’t give a fuck. I’m making out with something.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and our sex life has become routine. Is that a sign that our relationship is dwindling? Should I jump ship? If not, what should I do?
Do some crazy shit, like just surprise him here and there. Stick your finger up his ass. That might fucking wake him up. You can do a little pain. I don’t do this, but it’s an idea. I’ve seen it done. A little candle wax, a little stabbing with a fork. You could buy him a book, but he’ll probably hate you for that. Or you could just insult him. Just say, "This sex sucks. Do you want me to move on to someone else, or are you going to improve?" Say, "I love you." Or whatever. S&M class maybe. A tantra class.

I want to learn how to deep throat. How can I teach myself?
To be honest, I’ve been a little disappointed in the blowjobs I’ve received. I’ve had some pretty decent sex. Sex is so mental. It’s not just a physical thing. And people treat who it as just a physical thing are going to be disappointed. You’ve got to love the person. I think that’s very important. I know the Naked Cowgirl, and her advice to me was, "You’ve got to love the penis. You’ve got to have a relationship with the penis. And then you’ll love it." If you really love it, the deep-throating will come.
 

Interviews by Tanya Ritchie. Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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©2006 Tanya Ritchie & Nerve.com, Inc.
photo courtesy S.A. Crary