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Sex Advice From The French

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Sex Advice from the French - Amelie

Amelie, 22

What’s the best reason to date a French person?
We’re sensual and open-minded. And we’re the best lovers in the world.

Are the French really better in bed?
The women are…

Is it wrong to date someone French just because her accent is a turn-on?
No. We roll our R’s. Just imagine what we can do in bed.

Last night, my girlfriend of five years suggested that we stop using condoms because it “feels better.” I agreed, but I'm totally freaked that she might get pregnant.  I'm also worried that she secretly wants to get pregnant. What should I do? 
There are so many options for women, so figure those out. I’d also be bothered that she wasn’t being responsible for her sexual health.



I just found out that the girl I’ve been dating for the past six months is a stripper. She said she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to upset me. It does! Am I an asshole if I break up with her?
Clearly. Why don’t you make an effort to learn more about what she does? If it bothers you that much, maybe you should have been upfront about your insecurities right away.

After dating this girl for over a year, I finally met her parents. Her mother is a raging alcoholic and about a hundred pounds overweight. They say girls grow up to be their mothers. Should I be worried?
That’s a little ridiculous. If she maintains a healthy lifestyle, then I don’t really see what the issue is. The person you’re dating is obviously the person she is. She’s not going to change overnight.

I’m French. My girlfriend is American. Eventually, I want to move back to my home country, but she has no interest in even visiting. Should I break things off now?
Kind of, yes. Break up with her ass.

My boyfriend bought me a Hitachi vibrator to spice up our lovemaking — it gives me the most intense orgasms of my life. But now I can’t come when I have sex with him. How can I keep the amazing orgasms without making him feel inadequate? 
Wean yourself off it. Use lower and lower settings. Or, keep it. It won’t talk back to you, and it’s tucked away and only comes out when you need it. You won’t come home to a messy house or to it drunk and watching football. And you have an orgasm every time. Hitachi really is the best boyfriend.

Sex Advice from the French - Nick

Nick, 29

What’s the best reason to date a French person?
Me. 

Why do they call it a “French Kiss”?
The French kiss was first known as maraichinage, a term to describe the prolonged, deep, tongue kiss practiced by the Maraichins, inhabitants of the French region of Brittany. 

I have a crush on this guy who doesn't speak English. How do I tell him he rocks my socks?
"Tu rock mes chaussettes."

Is it wrong to date someone French just because her/his accent is a turn on?
Only if he's a psychopath.

Last night, my girlfriend of five years suggested that we stop using condoms because it “feels better.” I agreed, but I'm totally freaked that she might get pregnant.  I'm also worried that she secretly wants to get pregnant. What should I do?
There's nothing fun about living in fear.  Try Trojan Ultra Thin or Kimono Micro Thin condoms.

I think beards are sexy. But every time I kiss a lumberjack guy, it irritates the skin on my face. Is there a way to avoid this?
You can't have your baguette and eat it too.

I’m French. My girlfriend is American. Eventually, I want to move back to my home country but she has no interest in even visiting. Should I break things off now?
Try to entice her with some Shakespeare: "Kate, when France is mine and I am yours, then yours is France and you are mine."  

My boyfriend bought me a Hitachi vibrator to spice up our lovemaking — it gives me the most intense orgasms of my life. But now I can’t come when I have sex with him. How can I keep the amazing orgasms without making him feel inadequate?
You shouldn't have to. You're the one who should feel bad if your boyfriend doesn't want to do whatever it takes to get you off.

Sex Advice from the French - Diane

Diane, 32 

What’s the best reason to date a French person?
I think the French don't have hang-ups about "dating" the way Americans do. Things are more fluid and less ritualized. There's no, "on date number one, you should talk about this; on date number two, you can kiss; if you make it to date five, you can start talking about marriage," etc.

Why do they call it a “French Kiss”?
I honestly don't know. But let me know if you find out. They don't call it French kissing in France. 

If someone says “I love you” in a different language, does it have the same weight as “I love you” in English?
If an American Francophone told me "Je t'aime" very seriously and looked deep into my eyes, I might accept it as true. But in general, I think those words need to be spoken in the language that one is most comfortable with in order to be taken seriously.

I just found out that the girl I’ve been dating for the past six months is a stripper. She said she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to upset me. It does! Am I an asshole if I break up with her?
No. I mean, who wants to date a stripper? Oh right, everyone. That’s big news; if she lied about that, then what else is she holding back? Big news needs to be disclosed close to the beginning of a relationship. 

The guy I'm crushing on is bi, and totally upfront about it. Is it crazy that that bothers me?
If he claims to be bi, then he's probably gay, and therefore it's not crazy that it bothers you. 

After dating this girl for over a year, I finally met her parents. Her mother is a raging alcoholic and about a hundred pounds overweight. They say girls grow up to be their mothers. Should I be worried?
Run for the hills. Seriously. Unless the girl takes after her father, which is always a possibility. 

My boyfriend bought me a Hitachi vibrator to spice up our lovemaking, and it gives me the most intense orgasms of my life. But now I can’t come when I have sex with him. How can I keep the amazing orgasms without making him feel inadequate? 
Fake it 'til you make it? He shouldn't feel bad really, especially if in the grand scheme of things, everyone ends happy. Just tell him that it's very enjoyable foreplay, and exaggerate the sounds a little. 

I think beards are sexy. But every time I kiss a lumberjack guy, it irritates the skin on my face. Is there a way to avoid this? 
I don't know of a miracle cream for this problem. Have "no facial hair month" every six months? The downside is that you might be less attracted to him; the upside is that your face will remain intact. Decisions, decisions. Love is a trade-off.