Sex Advice From Twins

Q: What would you do if you and your twin are attracted to the same person? A: Deny everything. At least that's what we did in high school.

By Andrew Kim

Laura and Gale, 25

What makes a twin a better lover?
Laura: Apparently twins in the womb, crammed as it is, massage, punch, and kiss each other. So we've had more practice. Depends on what you're into, though.
Gale: A twin is either trying to find a relationship that matches the connection with his or her twin, or has written the person off as someone who could never be that close. I think both situations could make for good sex. The former intense and intimate (genuine or not), the latter uninhibited and selfish.

What would you do if you and your twin are attracted to the same person?
Laura: Well, my sister and I frequently got crushes on the same people growing up, but we never had to address it — no one asked us out and we didn't tell each other about our mutual crushes until years later. Nowadays, we continue to avoid that by living on opposite sides of the country.
Gale: Deny everything. Or at least that's what we did in high school.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time, but this is his first relationship while I have been in several — a bit of a touchy subject. How do I bring up what I enjoy in the bedroom without bringing up all the people who used to do it for me?
Laura: If you want your boyfriend to, for example, take your underwear off with his teeth, there's no reason to whip out your sexual resume and have him call one of your references. Tell him you were reading a Cosmo or the Kama Sutra or an erotic novel and that you got really turned on thinking about doing that with him. Just don't refer him back to this column. 

I had to move back in with my parents after college. I have a long-term girlfriend and we're used to having sex quite often. I'm not sure how to continue having sex at my parents' house without making things awkward at home. Any tips for sneaking around while I'm living at home?
Laura: Yup, do what I had my boyfriend do. Put your girlfriend in the guest room, and after your parents have gone to bed, close your bedroom door, enter her room, and close that door, too. No one's the wiser! Make a game out of who can come quietest. Your parents are doing the same thing.
Gale: How thin are the walls? Is she living with you too? If she's not, just have sex at her place if you can't get hard around your stuffed animals.

Someone who used to date my roommate just asked me out. They only dated for a few months, and I would like to give it a try, but I'm worried my roommate might freak out. Is this a recipe for disaster?
Laura: If you're worried that your roommate might freak out, then it's already a disaster.
Gale: I think that it's a bad idea any way you look at it. There's a reason they stopped dating and I doubt she would want him hanging around the living room/kitchen/bedroom.  If you're still interested after you move out, then give him a try. That way you can date him for a while, and if it does work out, his ex-girlfriend doesn't have to catch him in his boxers on the way to the bathroom.

My boyfriend hates using condoms — he says he can't get off while wearing one. We're both STD free, so I don't mind, but I don't really want to spend money on birth control. Is it fair for me to make him pay for my birth control because he's the one with the preference?
Laura: Yep, it's fair. It's free at Planned Parenthood though, even if you don't have insurance!
Gale: This is one of my pet peeves! I think the guy definitely should contribute — I somehow doubt if the tables were turned a man would jump at the chance to ingest extra mystery hormones. Unless they made his penis larger.

I love my boyfriend, but he's a bit slovenly. His beard's shaggy and he doesn't shower as frequently as I'd like. What is the most polite way to give him hygiene suggestions without making him too self-conscious?
Laura: I guess the key word is "too," because you do want him to be more self-conscious. Take Jerry Seinfeld's advice on this one and bring him to hang out with your Kramer-friend — the one who always speaks without thinking it through. Your truth-bomb acquaintance/friend/sister/mailman will let the smelly cat out of the bag.  
Gale: I think if you loved him, those things wouldn't bother you.