John and George, 23

What's the best way to pick up twins?
John: Hm, that's a tough one. But I can safely say that it's not by asking them to have a threesome with you. I do not want to have sex with my sibling. Do you want to have sex with yours?
George: Just ignore his brother totally, and the fact that they are twins. Or, compare me directly to my brother and highlight all the ways I'm better than him. Seriously, I'm not sure. Growing up as a twin, I never got the whole twin-fetish thing.

What makes a twin a better lover?
John: Well, my brother and I are very open with each other, and when he tells me his shortcomings, I take them and make them my strengths.
George: Twins are always in competition with each other. They always need to know who's the fastest one or the strongest one. Being the better lover, that might actually be the ultimate win.

I'm dating a twin, but lately I think I'm more emotionally attracted to her sister. What do I do?
John: You're a bitch, and you're really not in touch with your own sexuality or feelings. All you want is something different. You just can't be satisfied by someone who loves you and cares for you. When you say something like that, it makes me wonder if you were ever interested in the first place. What do you think is going to happen? You think you're going start dating her sister and everything is going to be suddenly great? It makes for an awkward Christmas somewhere down the line.
George: Nothing, you are fucked. There's no way to make that switch.

What would you do if you and your twin are attracted to the same person?
John: We have pretty different taste in women, and thankfully I've never run into that situation with my brother. Were he and I ever interested in the same girl, it would be no competition. She would choose me.
George: I'd try to get her to like me over my brother, but I would play fair because, at the end of the day, I don't want to fuck my brother over.

I love my boyfriend but he's a bit slovenly. His beard's shaggy and he doesn't shower as frequently as I'd like. What is the most polite way to give him hygiene suggestions without making him too self-conscious?
John: You should just tell him he's dirty; guys know they're dirty. Try a social experiment. Don't shave your armpits or legs for a few days and see if he says anything. As soon as he does, remind him grooming is a two-way street.
George: You don't have to be tiptoe around the situation. Just tell him that he needs to be more hygienic and if he loves you back then he'll understand. It doesn't have to be negative. Just make sure your tone isn't demeaning. 

I've been seeing this girl lately, but every time we go out as a group, she seems a lot more interested in my roommate. She talks to him, touches him, and laughs at all his dumb jokes. Is this just paranoia or could she be into him?
John: She's going out with you and not your roommate, so you're doing something right. She might just want to get along really well with your friends. If you confront her about it, she's probably just going to deny it, so that's not getting you anywhere. Nothing he does should matter if your relationship is going to work out anyway, so there's no reason to worry about it.
George: Think about it this way: she's going out with you and not your roommate, so clearly you have the upper-hand. Be confident and she'll enjoy that. She could just be being friendly because she is trying to show that she can get along with your friends. On the other hand, if things aren't going as hot as they could be, then it's possible that she is into him. If you are more inclined to think this is the case, try to avoid bringing him along. I wouldn't suggest bringing it up to her. If things are going very, very well and she is definitely into you, she'll just tell you to "stop being silly" and will reassure you. If things aren't going very, very well, she will probably tell you not to worry (even if there is a reason to worry) and lose respect for you because you are not confident.

All my girlfriends are really loud and social people. When we're all out at a bar, I sometimes feel overshadowed and find that they get hit on a lot more than I do. What's the best way to get noticed while hanging out with a group of people?
John: Depending on the guys, usually wearing really slutty, revealing clothing won't get you noticed in a good way. It's usually pretty safe to assume that a guy is interested in you to begin with, but you can tell really quickly just by talking to someone.
George: Guys are not as picky as girls are. If you really want to get noticed, then just go up to the guys that you want to talk to and start talking to them. If you are just being friendly and social and are smiling, then there's a good chance they'll be interested. Think about the things that you'd like to be doing and do it. If you want to be like your friends, "shadow" them (not creepily) and observe how they talk to guys and so forth. What's most important is to be yourself.