Advice

Sex Advice From Vegans

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Freedom, 30

owner/cook, vegan restaurant

Is your job a good way to meet potential lovers?
It can be. I’m in the kitchen most of the time so I don’t really get to interact much with the customers. And there’s a strict "no staff" policy because it just creates too much work drama. But yes, it could happen. We’ve only been open for four months so I’ve got time.

So you’re single?
No, actually I’m married, but I have an open marriage. I’m allowed to have other partners just so long as my wife knows about it.

Do you share partners?
We have, yes.

My friend’s boyfriend really wants her to fool around with another woman and let him watch. She’s not really into girls but wants to please him. What should she do?
Coming from experience, I know that it’s something she should only do if she’s into it. It’s not good to have regrets.

How do you and your wife approach another couple?
Neither of us have aggressive personalities. It’s not like we would approach strangers or anything. So if something like that were to arise, it would probably be with someone we know. We would just create a sexual situation. Like if we were at a party, we would just start making out on the couch next to somebody. Generally, if the female is the one to approach, it goes over better than if a guy just grabs a girl’s ass.

One partner loves porn as sexual stimulation, one hates it. Can this relationship be saved?
I don’t see why not. If one person hates it, hates watching it, then do it on your own time. I don’t see why someone should have a problem with something you do on your own time, something that’s not hurting the relationship.

Tips for someone who wants to fulfill exhibitionist tendencies?
You just have to do it. Start slow in isolated places, then work your way up to the subway.

I’m afraid I can’t compete with my girlfriend’s vibrator. Is there hope?
Find out what it is the vibrator’s doing that you’re not doing. Either she’s hitting the mythical G-spot with it or she’s working her clit properly. Ask her.

Any words that should never be used to refer to the genitalia?
No. I think it’s all funny. I use the straight-up "cock" and "pussy."

 

Tana, 29

vegan 4 yrs.

Is semen considered non-vegan?
I consider it non-vegan if the semen belongs to a guy who is not a vegan. That’s one of the reasons I don’t swallow.

Does any vegan paraphernalia make a good sexual accessory?
Tofu cream. It’s good licking.

You have herpes. At what point do you reveal this information? First date, second date, etc.?
Right away. I was in a relationship where the guy told me that at a point when things were getting way too close. It was really scary. I wouldn’t want to do that to anyone.

How should a person suggest group sex?
You have to talk about it. Unless everyone is completely wasted, then I’d skip the talking part.

One partner loves porn as sexual stimulation, one hates it. Can this relationship be saved?
Yes. It seems like in most relationships one person is into porn and the other isn’t. It seems that guys are socialized to go in that direction and women are not. Although I know a lot of women who are into porn. I think the relationship could be saved, but I think it’s important to have respect for different tastes.

Any words that should never be used to refer to the genitalia, like "bearded clam" or "piece of pork"?
I’ve never been into "pussy" or anything that is a reference to an animal.

Hugh, 30

vegan 4 yrs.

Is semen considered non-vegan?
I would say no. A big premise behind veganism is that animal products are obtained non-consensually, but in the case of semen, hopefully it’s consensual.

What should one eat to improve the taste of one’s semen?
I would stay away from things that are very pungent, like garlic. Overall, like anything else, if you lead a healthy lifestyle and you eat a healthy diet then everything about your body will be healthy.

Does any vegan paraphernalia make a good sexual accessory?
Grapes, green grapes. It’s sexy to feed them to each other back and forth, going from mouth to mouth, from cleavage to mouth, from pussy to mouth. It’s yummy and erotic.

If you’re allergic to latex, what do you do condom-wise? Is lambskin off-limits?

Yes. Absolutely. Lambskin is off limits. Polyurethane is the way to go. Trojan Ultras are good. The thing about Polyurethane is that the nature of it is entirely different. Latex is an insulator whereas polyurethane transmits heat so it’s a different feeling. They’re much, much better.

What is an oral technique that will make any woman scream?
I like a combination of little tongue circles around the clit and a sucking action at the same time.

How do you approach a woman who is interested in but afraid of anal sex?
While you’re having vaginal sex, start giving her a little stimulation in that area. And it could just be using a wet finger and rubbing around the area, and then progressing to inserting a finger and letting her get used to relaxing and feeling that. Once you start doing that, if she’s ever going to open up to it she will.

Any words that should never be used to refer to the genitalia?

I would never say never. Anything can be erotic.

Marie, 26

vegan 3 yrs., vegetarian since 1997

Do you spit or swallow?
Swallow.

Isn’t semen non-vegan? It’s the byproduct of a mammal.
I don’t classify it as non-vegan.

What should one eat to improve the taste of one’s semen?

Strawberries are good.

Do you have sex with carnivores?
Yes, but they taste different. Honestly, my ex-boyfriend was a vegan and his semen was much sweeter than the carnivore I’m dating now. It’s a completely different taste. As unbiased as I can be, just purely talking about sex…the vegan boy tastes better.

You have herpes. At what point do you reveal this information? First date, second date, etc.?

The second you think things are becoming intimate, like the first kiss.

Have you ever experienced female ejaculation? And if so, how?
Yes. It seems to happen more as I get older. It happens about half the time for me. I’ve had guys go down on me and say, "You just totally soaked my face!" And I say, "That’s a good thing. Take that as a compliment!" There’s a tribe in Africa, I forget where it is, where you’re not considered a woman until you "spray the wall."

How should a person suggest group sex?
First, you have to figure out if your partner is into it or not. If there’s even a remote chance, then go for it. I would suggest watching some porn that has group sex. If they’re averse to porn, then they’re probably averse to group sex. You can learn a lot about a person by watching porn with them. We’ve had a lot of discussions here about porn. Particularly midget porn.

I’ve got a cousin who is really into midget porn.
You should see this one called Pint Sized Pussies with Bridget the Midget. Someone actually picks her up and puts her in the sink.

Say one partner loves porn as sexual stimulation, one hates it. Can this relationship be saved?
I think any relationship can be saved. It just depends on how much you’re willing to sacrifice, how into your porn collection you are, and how opposed to it your partner is. If they want you to throw it all out, that’s probably going to be a problem.

Justin, a.k.a. Positive Kinetik, 34

vegan 4 yrs.

What should one eat to improve the taste of one’s semen?
Organic vegetable protein sources.

Pubic hair — are there any shapes/configurations that should be avoided?
The shape of a dairy cow.

My friend’s boyfriend really wants her to fool around with another woman and let him watch. She’s not really into girls but wants to please him. What should she do?
She should have a shot of wheatgrass and do it.

How should a person suggest group sex?
Report to my living room immediately.

Tips for someone who wants to fulfill exhibitionist tendencies?

Go to a vintage store and get a ’60s Inspector Clouseau trenchcoat. If you’re sharp, you could show your stuff to hundreds in one evening.

I’m afraid I can’t compete with my girlfriend’s vibrator. Is there hope?
Get a nubbed, ribbed gourd.

Any words that should never be used to refer to the genitalia?
Tender sirloin.  n°

 

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