Advice

Sex Advice From: Witches

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Q: Are there any charms or spells I can use to make someone fall in love with me? A: Yes there are. And I won’t tell you them.

Selina Bell, 42

Is there any charm or spell I can use to make someone fall in love with me? And are there potential negative consequences of doing this?
You cannot make someone fall in love with you. You can influence them, on occasion, but everything has consequences. So if you use a spell that’s powerful, and someone does fall in love with you, they could be overbearing, they could not be what you’re expecting, they could be abusive. It’s not advisable to do that.

Is there such a thing as sex magic?
Yes there is. It’s usually performed in a devoted couple: they’re in a very strong relationship. And what’s it’s meant to do is strengthen their bond, as well as increase their magic. 

How do you know if you love someone?
Well, there’s the physical reaction, of the sweaty palms and butterflies in your stomach, and the heart racing, your body flushes and you’re constantly aroused around them. But there’s a difference between physical love, which is lust, and companionship love. That person that you trust, that person that is always there, that makes you feel complete and whole. What we believe is love society-wise, and what really is love, are two different things.

Do you find it’s an issue when you have to bring up being a witch to potential romantic partners?
No, I don’t. But I have no reservations about being a witch. Then again, what I know is being a witch, and what society thinks is being a witch are two different things

My girlfriend lied and told me her ex-boyfriend was out of her life, but he’s not. Is this a big deal? What do you think is the worst lie you can tell a romantic partner?
Usually when a couple lies to each other, there’s a lack of trust, a lack of communication. Something isn’t right in the relationship. If you’re in a serious “thinking-about-moving-in-together” stage, this isn’t the relationship for you. As a witch, we don’t get that out of shape about little things. We live by the rule, ‘do as you will, but cause no harm.’ I’ve been practicing hypnosis and therapy for several years now, and I’ve never had a Wiccan couple come into my office. 

What’s the best thing someone has ever done to you in bed?
I have a friend, he’s also Wiccan, and he has a gift for touch. He has a healing touch, and he gave me the best massage I’ve ever had, and multiple orgasms at the same time. 

Do you think there are clues for determining your sexual compatibility with someone before you actually have sex?
Well there’s your astrological signs. You can get those online anywhere. But the best way to know if you’re compatible with someone is to discuss what you want and what you need before you even go there. If you can’t tell them what you want, they’re walking around like a blind man in a dark room. 

Whenever I go out to bars or clubs, I’m always too afraid to talk to girls. How can I work up my courage?
First off, the mind-set has to be there. You have to be confident and proud of who you are. There are also several herbs you can use that will stimulate your self-esteem. For men, it would be a cinnamon, a birch, a pine, a woodsy, musky smell. 

What’s a first-date dealbreaker for you?

Oh my god, it’s been years since I’ve had a first date! Um…if he smells? How he’s dressed? Wearing plaid? I guess either smelling really bad, or being overly cocky. Someone who thought they were all that and a bag of donuts.

I don’t know how to end a date in a smooth way. How can I tell if a girl wants me to kiss her or not?  
Listen to your inner self. A lot of it has to do with body language. If she’s standing there with her arms crossed and legs crossed, that one’s not gonna happen. Does she lean into you? Does she smile at you? Worse case scenario, you lean in and she slaps you. Best case scenario, you end up in her room.

Rev. RavenHawk Ruane, 52

Is there any charm or spell I can use to make someone fall in love with me? And are there potential negative consequences of doing this?
Yes. Witches use charms and potions to attract love/lovers. Whenever you’re doing Majick, it is most important to ask if it is for the good and correct of all. This is vital as some of us are attracted to people that are not healthy for us.

Is there such a thing as sex magic?
Sex Majick, per se, does exist, but in my opinion, two lovers mutually willing to pleasure one another is Majickal.

How do you know if you love someone?
Well my experience has been a feeling like no other. Can't wait to see the other person. Wish to spend every waking…and resting moment with them. A feeling of walking on air. I have to share here, a lesson learned in my mid-twenties from my mentor, teacher and dear friend, Laurie Cabot. Soul mates are not necessarily meant to be lovers. So take heed.

Do you find it’s an issue when you have to bring up being a witch to potential romantic partners?
As a proud Witch since age 12, now nearly 53, I've always worn a pentacle and usually a crystal. At age 12 my nickname was Cosmic Kerri. This conversation comes up, usually, when I first meet someone. With my ex, who I was married to for 19 years, we knew within first three months we would be together. After three months of dating/living together he brought me to Florida to meet his family and on second day he announced to his Protestant folks I was a Witch. Well…mother spit her water out! After recovering from shock, she asked many questions. Each experience is an opportunity to educate. 

My girlfriend lied and told me her ex-boyfriend was out of her life, but he’s not. Is this a big deal? What do you think is the worst lie you can tell a romantic partner?
For me any lies are a big deal. Especially in a new relationship. I want a relationship built on trust. Telling me your ex is out of your life…well it makes me question what you're hiding. I know for fact one can be friends with an ex. 

I just broke up with my boyfriend and now he won’t stop contacting me. How can I get him to stop? This one’s tricky; it depends on whether there's propensity for stalking. A banishing/binding spell will work to keep person from harming you without causing harm to them. But it’s probably best to both do a banishing spell and contact law enforcement. That way there's an official record. 

What’s the best thing someone has ever done to you in bed?
Hmmm…I’ll leave this one at merely wishing to fulfill my needs and wants. Speak up folks! Tell your partner what pleases you.

Do you think there are clues for determining your sexual compatibility with someone before you actually have sex?
There are most definitely clues. I know when I first meet someone, say first moments, whether this is someone I'd have sex with. Many judge by astrological signs though so much more comes into play than ones sign. What houses planted were in etc. I also believe you can take an average lover and by communication make them a brilliant lover.

Whenever I go out to bars or clubs, I’m always too afraid to talk to girls. How can I work up my courage?
Girls, whether lesbian or hetero, like confidence. Know you're worthy of the one you seek. Carry a rose quartz. Great for self love and confidence. Visualize in your mind's eye you and the person leaving together.

What’s a first-date dealbreaker for you?
Haha, first date deal breaker…I used to be shallow in that the type of shoes a person was wearing could be a turn-off. Now, today, it would have to be extreme self-centeredness: Someone who is only interested in sharing about themselves, but asks no questions or takes time to know me. Also, I have three children from 19 years of marriage. They're huge part of my life so the person has to be open to my family. 

I don’t know how to end a date in a smooth way. How can I tell if a girl wants me to kiss her or not?
I believe we can tell how a date went based on exchanging energies. There's nothing wrong with leaning in for a kiss. She’ll let you know by either meeting your lips with hers or giving you the dreaded cheek. Please boys, no cramming your tongue down her throat, unless you feel hers first. There's someone out there for everyone. Failed relations are not failures but stepping stones. 

Richard Johnson, 61

Is there any charm or spell I can use to make someone fall in love with me?
Yes there are. And I won’t tell you them.

Is there such a thing as sex magic?
Yes.  But it is probably far more difficult to do than people think. Most people who talk about doing ‘sex magic’ are sexual predators trying to entice sex from the innocent because no one will date them, or they are people who are trying to introduce their own kinks and pretending to justify it with religion.

Bottom line on sex magic: If you are having fun, you are doing it wrong.

How do you know if you love someone?
People go through phases. There is the “I cannot wait to get home and tear her clothes off and….” This is simple lust.  BUT, because Americans are subject to the Puritan Ethic, we confuse lust with sex. The saying goes, “Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex.” So how do you tell? Simple… when I am getting off work and the guys ask me to hit the club for a couple of beers and I respond, “No thanks, I want to get home to the wife," and along the way I buy her flowers for no other reason than I saw them for sale on the street, and when I get home and hug her and know that I want to grow old with her… that is probably love.   

Do you find it’s an issue when you have to bring up being a witch to potential romantic partners?
YES! Dating outside my religion is not a good idea. For a short term thing, it’s ok. But if I want to spend my life with her, it becomes a very important issue. How do we raise the kids? How do we deal with

Yule-vs-xmas? How does she handle me being naked in my church and me not wanting to attend her church? Then there is ALWAYS the "did you put a love spell on me?" question. Dating outside your religion is ok, but getting seriously involved with someone outside your religion is never a good idea.  

My girlfriend lied and told me her ex-boyfriend was out of her life, but he’s not. Is this a big deal?
Depends. The fact that she lied is a big deal. The fact that she is still friends with her ex is not. I am still friends with most of my ex-girlfriends. Just because we are no longer sleeping together does not mean we have to hate each other. Really. We dated because we liked each other. We dated because we liked the same things. So why give up that friendship? We simply keep our clothes on now.

What do you think is the worst lie you can tell a romantic partner?
“I love you” before you mean it. Too many men say that to get sex or because they feel pressured by the girl. Too many women say that because they feel guilty about sex or worried that they will be unmarried.

I just broke up with my boyfriend and now he won’t stop contacting me? How can I get him to stop? Using spells or otherwise?
Protection orders work but ruin lives. Hang up the phone and block his e-mail generally works. One of my girlfriends was planning to dump me because she was already dating someone else. So she set me up with another woman, then dumped me. Magic does not replace material effort, it simply adds power to the mundane work you are already doing.

Do you think there are clues for determining your sexual compatibility with someone before you actually have sex?
Talking openly works. P told me that she wouldn’t sleep with me before we were married. D said that she wanted to know what she was getting before she committed herself. N just wanted to know if I would freak out at her sexual desires. She was a Dom.

But then, I think any woman who will sleep with me on the first date has done so with EVERYONE she dated before and really, I don’t want to go there.  Take your time and talk a few dates before you get naked.

Whenever I go out to bars or clubs, I’m always too afraid to talk to girls. How can I work up my courage?
If I knew that, I’d be dating someone right now.

What’s a first-date dealbreaker for you?
Smoking and drugs.  Tattoos are a second.  Anything else can be handled and negotiated.

I don’t know how to end a date in a smooth way.
If the date goes badly, telling her honestly, “This isn’t working out” will get you slapped but is better than pretending.  I like to have a first date at a place that closes early with the agreement that we separate when it closes.  If the date goes badly, neither calls the other. If it goes well, we can agree to call the next day to set up a second, longer date.