Richard Johnson, 61

Is there any charm or spell I can use to make someone fall in love with me?
Yes there are. And I won’t tell you them.

Is there such a thing as sex magic?
Yes.  But it is probably far more difficult to do than people think. Most people who talk about doing ‘sex magic’ are sexual predators trying to entice sex from the innocent because no one will date them, or they are people who are trying to introduce their own kinks and pretending to justify it with religion.

Bottom line on sex magic: If you are having fun, you are doing it wrong.

How do you know if you love someone?
People go through phases. There is the “I cannot wait to get home and tear her clothes off and….” This is simple lust.  BUT, because Americans are subject to the Puritan Ethic, we confuse lust with sex. The saying goes, “Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex.” So how do you tell? Simple… when I am getting off work and the guys ask me to hit the club for a couple of beers and I respond, “No thanks, I want to get home to the wife," and along the way I buy her flowers for no other reason than I saw them for sale on the street, and when I get home and hug her and know that I want to grow old with her… that is probably love.   

Do you find it’s an issue when you have to bring up being a witch to potential romantic partners?
YES! Dating outside my religion is not a good idea. For a short term thing, it’s ok. But if I want to spend my life with her, it becomes a very important issue. How do we raise the kids? How do we deal with

Yule-vs-xmas? How does she handle me being naked in my church and me not wanting to attend her church? Then there is ALWAYS the "did you put a love spell on me?" question. Dating outside your religion is ok, but getting seriously involved with someone outside your religion is never a good idea.  

My girlfriend lied and told me her ex-boyfriend was out of her life, but he’s not. Is this a big deal?
Depends. The fact that she lied is a big deal. The fact that she is still friends with her ex is not. I am still friends with most of my ex-girlfriends. Just because we are no longer sleeping together does not mean we have to hate each other. Really. We dated because we liked each other. We dated because we liked the same things. So why give up that friendship? We simply keep our clothes on now.

What do you think is the worst lie you can tell a romantic partner?
“I love you” before you mean it. Too many men say that to get sex or because they feel pressured by the girl. Too many women say that because they feel guilty about sex or worried that they will be unmarried.

I just broke up with my boyfriend and now he won’t stop contacting me? How can I get him to stop? Using spells or otherwise?
Protection orders work but ruin lives. Hang up the phone and block his e-mail generally works. One of my girlfriends was planning to dump me because she was already dating someone else. So she set me up with another woman, then dumped me. Magic does not replace material effort, it simply adds power to the mundane work you are already doing.

Do you think there are clues for determining your sexual compatibility with someone before you actually have sex?
Talking openly works. P told me that she wouldn’t sleep with me before we were married. D said that she wanted to know what she was getting before she committed herself. N just wanted to know if I would freak out at her sexual desires. She was a Dom.

But then, I think any woman who will sleep with me on the first date has done so with EVERYONE she dated before and really, I don’t want to go there.  Take your time and talk a few dates before you get naked.

Whenever I go out to bars or clubs, I’m always too afraid to talk to girls. How can I work up my courage?
If I knew that, I’d be dating someone right now.

What’s a first-date dealbreaker for you?
Smoking and drugs.  Tattoos are a second.  Anything else can be handled and negotiated.

I don’t know how to end a date in a smooth way.
If the date goes badly, telling her honestly, “This isn’t working out” will get you slapped but is better than pretending.  I like to have a first date at a place that closes early with the agreement that we separate when it closes.  If the date goes badly, neither calls the other. If it goes well, we can agree to call the next day to set up a second, longer date.