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Sex Advice From World of Warcraft Players

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Sex Advice From World of Warcraft Players

Janelle, 28

What has World of Warcraft taught you about dating?

I’ve found that the true nature of people tends to come out when they think they can hide behind an avatar. For example: your boyfriend gets ridiculously jealous that you have better gear, or your girlfriend uses her gender to manipulate people.  There’s no faster way to find out what a jerk your potential partner is than seeing what happens when loot you both need drops.janelle

If you belong to the Alliance, and you date a member of the Horde, how do you keep the conflict contained to the game?

Why keep the conflict contained to the game? I think this makes for some very interesting real-life sexual role-play scenarios!

What’s the best way to ask a fellow player out in real life without coming off weird?

Definitely don’t do it over in-game chat. You should at least start by speaking over voice chat to each other, make sure the person really is the gender/age they say they are. Then move on to telephone conversations, and try to schedule a visit. Isn’t hook-up opportunities what BlizzCon is REALLY for?

My mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex on the living room couch. This was the first time she ever met my mom, and now she’s too mortified to ever come back. How can I make this situation comfortable for everyone?

First, you should apologize to your mother, assure her that you were having safe sex, and tell her how embarrassed your girlfriend is. After you’ve done that, you should talk to your girlfriend and let her know that everything is fine. Then offer to introduce her to your mother for real. If I were her, I’d be open and say something like, "Hi, Mrs. XYZ, I’m really sorry about how we met, but I’m hoping we can move past this," with a big, friendly smile.janneleavatar

I like watching porn during sex, but I’ve always been slow to introduce it in the bedroom because it might freak my date out. Should I be worrying about this so much, or should I go ahead and pop in a DVD?

I think every couple should talk about sex openly; that said, I wouldn’t "Go ahead and pop in a DVD." Talk to her casually and see how she feels about porn. If she’s open to it, perhaps start with something a little more soft-core before breaking out the crazy stuff. Make sure you are watching this to enhance the experience together. Don’t make it seem like you’re imagining Jenna Jameson’s face on her body.

It’s rare when a guy can make me come, but my vibrator has always done the job. Is it offensive to bring it out when I’m with a guy, assuming that he won’t be able get me off?

Hell no! Let him know that you enjoy it, and want to enjoy it together with him. Show him how to use it on you so he can play a more proactive role. In my experience, guys’ finding out you were faking an orgasm is far more devastating to their egos than a girl who knows what she wants and how she likes it.

My girlfriend can’t afford her apartment anymore and has to move back in with her parents. The distance could seriously harm our relationship. Asking her to move in makes sense financially, but I’m afraid it’s too early. What do I do?

If you think it’s too early, then maybe it is. Perhaps the wisest choice is to let her move back and save some money; meanwhile, get her a subscription to World of Warcraft and play with her on it. When my fiance had to move back to Australia for a few months, we used World of Warcraft as a stand-in for seeing each other. You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe after a few months it won’t be "too soon" anymore.

Mike, 25

What’s the best reason to date a World of Warcraft player?

Their incredible attention to detail. Since a World of Warcraft player has to do dozens of quests, has to know the roles of ten to twenty-five other players in battle, and be completely prepared for every raid, it’s rare that a World of Warcraft player will forget a birthday, anniversary, first date, hair appointment, etc.

What has World of Warcraft taught you about dating?mike

The value of compromise, in game and out. In game you learn that sometimes you need to put the priorities of others above yourself, like if you’re raiding and another healer needs a new piece of equipment that would only be a small upgrade for you. Out of game, you need to work with your significant other so that you have time to raid and also to spend time with them.

What’s the best way to ask a fellow player out in real life, without coming off weird?

I’ve always felt the best way to ask someone out, in game or not, is to try and keep it casual. "Asking milady for her company" is always going to be awkward. If you’ve gotten friendly with someone in game, it should be easy to suggest meeting up in the real world — like meeting up for a night of Mario Kart, since you already know you both enjoy gaming.

I peeked at my boyfriend’s phone when he wasn’t looking, and saw that he still gets a lot of texts from his ex, even though he promised me they never keep in touch. How should I address this situation?mikeavatar

I feel like this depends on what the text situation is. If they’re getting all hot and heavy over the texts, then you should speak up. On the other hand, if it’s just his ex being clingy and he’s not responding, then you should let it slide. Sometimes a guy would rather avoid the issue then explain to you every time his phone buzzes.

There are tons of crazy photos of my girlfriend on Facebook of her from her college days, and it makes me really uncomfortable to see all those pictures out there. It sounds possessive, but I don’t want them on the internet anymore. How do I deal with this?

This is something you can totally bring up to her. She may even have forgotten that some of those pictures are still hanging around and would want to get rid of them herself. Just want to warn her that more and more employers are looking at prospective hires’ Facebook pages. Nobody wants to lose out on a job because of some drunken college pictures.

It’s rare when a guy can make me come, but my vibrator has always done the job. Is it offensive to bring it out when I’m with a guy, assuming that he won’t be able get me off?

A lot of guys get turned on when a woman takes control in the bedroom. By telling a guy exactly what he has to do to get you off, even if that includes using your vibrator, you can make it more exciting for him. If you’re in a relationship, then you can bring it up like, "Hey, why don’t we try something a little different this time?" When he sees how much you enjoy it, it’ll be a lot easier for him to handle.

Brooke, 29

What’s the best reason to date a World of Warcraft player?

If a girl finds herself dating a young World of Warcraft player, there’s a strong chance she’s got a few levels on him in the realm of love and sex. This will garner a ton of admiration and lots of in-game favors. Plus, she’ll always have someone to quest with.

What has World of Warcraft taught you about dating?brooke

A few polite words can go a long way. Also, people who spend a lot of time in front of the computer tend to have excellent imaginations — the brain is our most powerful sexual organ.

If you belong to the Alliance, and you date a member of the Horde, how do you keep the conflict contained to the game?

This kind of relationship is ill-advised. One will invariably attempt to convert the other, and while the two may try playing on one side, over time resentment can build to explosive pressure. They just do not mix.

My mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex on the living room couch. This was the first time she ever met my mom, and now she’s too mortified to ever come back. How can I make this situation comfortable for everyone?

People fuck, and unless your mom is of the no-sex-before-marriage ilk, she’s got to know that your sex life will not halt just because you’re under her roof. Have an awkward laugh about it with mom, then appeal to this girl’s sense of pride. Tell her that your parents will love her and that her many wonderful attributes will easily overshadow the incident.

I like watching porn during sex, but I’ve always been slow to introduce it in the bedroom because it might freak my date out. Should I be worrying about this so much, or should I go ahead and pop in a DVD?brookeavatar

Many girls like porn as much as guys do, but their tastes are a little different. For example, most girls I know don’t get off on the scrotum close-up. Bring it up outside the bedroom, and if she’s game, try finding a genre that’s pleasing to you both. If she’s indifferent, or worse, revolted, she might need some gentle coaxing via the soft-core variety.

There are tons of crazy photos of my girlfriend on Facebook of her from her college days, and it makes me really uncomfortable to see all those pictures out there. It sounds possessive, but I don’t want them on the internet anymore. How do I deal with this?

Deal with this by getting over yourself! Her past is not yours and she is free to air as little or as much of it as she likes. Instead of obsessing over her crazy life before she met you, focus on making new memories together.

My girlfriend can’t afford her apartment anymore and has to move back in with her parents. The distance could seriously harm our relationship. Asking her to move in makes sense financially, but I’m afraid it’s too early. What do I do?

You have to decide which course of action is least likely to harm your relationship. Sometimes, a temporary absence can strengthen your commitment to one another. I don’t think that the decision to live together should ever be done for financial reasons, but if you’re fantasizing about a life with this girl, than you may just have to jump sooner than you thought.