Advice

Sex Advice From Yoga Teachers

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Q: “What’s the best yoga position to use during sex?” A: “Utkatasana. Though I usually call it the coat hanger.”

Kayla, 22

How has becoming a yoga teacher affected your sex life?
Guys think being a yoga teacher is really hot. I think it turns people on, not just because they assume I’m flexible, it’s also because I’m the boss, the teacher. People like student/teacher fantasies.

What is the best yoga position to use during sex?
Baddha Konasana, because it opens up your hips.

Do you value flexibility in a sex partner?
No, I don’t really care because I can make up for it. Guys don’t really have to be the flexible one, they just need stamina.

What does the kind of yoga you teach say about your sexual preferences?
I teach Vinyasa Flow, which means your breath, movement and intention are aligned and that alignment helps keep the flow. It helps keep my flow in the bedroom; it keeps us on a steady path towards getting off.

My recent ex owes me 500 dollars. Should I try and get it back from her or leave it alone?
It depends on if you’ve already asked. If you’re forcing something, let it go. Karmically, the situation will work itself out.

I have a crush on my roommate. Do I go for it or move out first and then go for it?
Move out first! You have to change your relationship over time, not abruptly. Before anything though, you have figure out if he feels the same way.

My boyfriend is on the smaller side, and I really get off on penetration. I have a fairly large dildo I like to use on my own, and I think if he used it on me, I'd be satisfied. How can I explain all of that to him?
Turn it into kinky matter. Don’t make him feel bad about it, just hint that you want him to buy you a special present that he can use on you. He’ll probably like it!

The girl I just started dating has a way higher sex drive than I do, but since I'm a guy I feel like it's my obligation to keep up. How can I slow her down without embarrassing either of us?
Tell her you’re working really hard and you’re tired. Or just be honest, and tell her you’re not in a crazy sex cycle right now. If it gets really bad, move on and find someone new. It’ll be better for both of you to be with people you’re compatible with.

I'm a girl who's had a lot of drunk make-outs with other drunk girls, and now I'm thinking I'd like to hook up with a girl sober. I've made a few attempts, but every time I felt really awkward. How can I be more graceful?
Why are you feeling awkward? The real question might be why is so hard for you to make out with girls sober. Maybe you’re just not a lesbian.

The guy I've been dating is on anti-depressants and though they do wonders for his mood, he has a lot of trouble getting hard. We both put a lot of effort in, but when it doesn't work we both get frustrated with each other and it ruins the moment. How can we fix this?
Give him time and be encouraging. Try cute and sexy ways of turning him on. Can you get each other off in other ways than penetration? Take him to yoga class; that will turn him on.

Jimmy, 21

How has becoming a yoga teacher affected your sex life?
Being a yoga teacher has made me way less socially awkward and more confident. Having to get up in front of a group of people and lead them through a yoga practice is difficult; you're responsible for everybody in there. I'd say I'm also definitely more in touch with my body.

What is the best yoga position to use during sex?
Yoganidrasana.

Do you value flexibility in a sex partner?
I make a point of not sleeping with anyone who doesn't practice some sort of body discipline. The more awareness you have in your body, the better you'll be in the sack.

What does the kind of yoga you teach say about your sexual preferences?
My classes are a full-body experience that challenges the body, mind, and spirit. I teach a vigorous Vinyasa-based class with a really wide vocabulary of asanas. Anyone who has ever taken a class of mine has can tell you that you'll probably end up with your legs behind your head.

My recent ex owes me 500 dollars. Should I try and get it back from her or leave it alone?
Sorry, baby, that money is as good as gone.

I have a crush on my roommate. Do I go for it or move out first and then go for it?
As someone who slept with his roommate in college, I can tell you with certainty that this is a recipe for disaster. Unless you know that they're feeling the same way you do, I'd say hold out until you aren't living together.

My boyfriend is on the smaller side and I really get off on penetration. I have a fairly large dildo I like to use on my own, and I think if he used it on me, I'd be satisfied. How can I explain all of that to him?
Introduce the idea of using toys in the bedroom to gauge his response. If all goes well, you might not have to ever sit him down for "small talk."

The girl I just started dating has a way higher sex drive than I do, but since I'm a guy I feel like it's my obligation to keep up. How can I slow her down without embarrassing either of us?
Sex drive isn't something that changes overnight. If anything, try investigating the things that turn you on to increase your sexual appetite. See if you can't kick it up a notch. You'll both be happier for it. It’s very rare to hear people complaining about being over-sexed.

I'm a girl who's had a lot of drunk make-outs with other drunk girls, and now I'm thinking I'd like to hook up with a girl sober. I've made a few attempts, but I felt really awkward. Any tips?
It sounds to me like you're getting the nerves from taking liquid courage out of the equation. Instead of trying to pick up girls at a straight bar, try taking a trip to a lesbian bar. You'll find more fish in a smaller pond. At least there you'll find people on the same page as you are. If all goes well, you can find someone to make sober plans with.

Anna, 23

How has becoming a yoga teacher affected your sex life?
Being a yoga teacher hasn’t changed it much. The fact that I practice yoga has made me pretty flexible, an educated breather, and very in my body most of the time. That has definitely helped me get into sex more. I find that because of all of these enhancing attributes that yoga has provided for me, I can really experience sex on a different level.

What is the best yoga position to use during sex?
I recently experienced a yoga position in sex that was pretty much a head stand. I don’t recommend it. The best yoga position to use during sex would have to be chair pose, utkatasana. He stands with knees bent, while she is mounted on top of him. It’s an exciting and different position. I usually call it the “coat hanger” rather than chair pose.

Do you value flexibility in a sex partner?
Honestly, I don’t find that my partners need to be that flexible because I compensate for them. I’m sure it would suck to have a stiffy (no pun intended), but I find that as a female who has male partners, the female does a lot of the gymnastics rather than the dude.

What does the kind of yoga you teach say about your sexual preferences?
I teach a varied yoga class. There are slow spiritual moments, fast flowing moments and sustained strengthening moments in my class. I think this says that my sexual preference is eclectic. I don’t appreciate a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. I like all of my “koshas” to be involved, which is to say, loosely, my physical, spiritual, mental and emotional bodies.

My recent ex owes me 500 dollars. Should I try and get it back from her or leave it alone?
Get that shit back! If the two of you ever want to be friends ever again you will need to settle all ties before severing them. I’m not sure how yoga comes into play with this question, but to bring peace into the world we need to practice peace, which doesn’t necessarily mean inaction. Go get that cash! Om Shanti.

I have a crush on my roommate. Do I go for it or move out first and then go for it? 
As convenient as it is to have a crush on someone you live with, I think that keeping your love relations and your business relations separate is a good idea. For the sake of your other roommates and for potential issues in dealing with rent, dishes, or hair in the drain, I think moving out first would be better for everyone.

My boyfriend is on the smaller side and I really get off on penetration. I have a fairly large dildo I like to use on my own, and I think if he used it on me, I'd be satisfied. How can I explain all of that to him?
Explain to him that you want to expand your horizons and try kinkier stuff. Suggest his involvement in a different venue while you employ the giant dildo. Don’t mention his tiny dick — that’s not okay. Ask him to stimulate you in a different area while you use the toy. One thing about guys is, they love to watch you get off on your own, or at least take control of what you want. Go for it!

I'm a girl who's had a lot of drunk make-outs with other drunk girls, and now I'm thinking I'd like to hook up with a girl sober. I've made a few attempts, but I felt really awkward. Any tips?
When I flirt with girls, I basically flirt in the same way that I do with guys. Be yourself and remember to find moments for “accidental” touching, you know, knees bumping, shoulders rubbing, etc. Physical suggestion goes a long way.

The guy I've been dating is on anti-depressants and though they do wonders for his mood, he has a lot of trouble getting hard. We both put a lot of effort in, but when it doesn't work we both get frustrated with each other and it ruins the moment. How can we fix this?
Try some tantric shit. Maybe if you both withhold yourselves from each other, emotions will grow stronger and so will other things. The art of seduction and temptation is an amazing way to amp up the sex drive.