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Sex Advice from . . . Yogis

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Garvey, 41
www.bettersexthroughyoga.com

What yoga moves can best prepare me for sex?
My favorite pose is the diamond pose: sitting on the floor on your knees with your butt in between your ankles. If you lean back, it gives you an amazing stretch from your groin to the top of your thighs and stomach.

How about yoga moves I can use during sex?
Downward dog, especially for a woman. Puts your groin in the air.

My girlfriend and I have completely opposite work schedules. We never seem to be in the bedroom at the same time. How can we work out a regular schedule for sex?
I would fuck her before she leaves. Or fuck her before I leave. Fuck in the shower. I would grab her whenever she's in range and do it. She's got to be around at some point or another. If you're dating somebody who you never see, you're not really with them. Be spontaneous. If you have to fuck in the bathroom, fuck in the bathroom.

After every fight we have, my girlfriend shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. How can I get her to open up?
The fight is not over then. If she doesn't want to talk about it anymore and shuts down, she's still angry. Even if she says she's not, she's still pissed off. The best approach is to not bring it up like you're her mother and needle her to death. But you should never let yourself be disrespected, either — your girlfriend should never curse or spit at you. Unless you're getting cursed at or spit on in bed. That's different.

Is yoga class a good place to find a date?
Most yoga classes are eighty percent chicks, and most of them don't like to be hit on because they want to be able to have their ass up in the air and not have someone look at them. Plus, it's pretty obvious that you're asking them out because you noticed their ass in the air. At the same time, while a certain set of yogi people are extremely devout, a lot are drinkers, meat-eaters and stoners, and those chicks are really horny.

Garvey My boyfriend and I want to try a threesome. Is it better to ask a stranger or someone we know?
A stranger.

Why?
Because there are more people you don't know. And if the stranger says no, you can move on to the next stranger. If you tell your best friend that you and your wife want to fuck him or her, and your friend isn't into that, that person may not want to hang out with you anymore.

What tips can you give me for making a fake orgasm seem real?
Act as if you're not in control. Increase your breath. Throw in a shiver. And squeeze tight throughout your whole body for a full minute while you're faking the come.


LindaLinda, 39
boodiba.blogspot.com

Can yoga boost my sex drive?
I practiced yoga twice in one day and kissed four different people that night, so it may not be true that yoga balances things out. Yogis tend to be horny.

Is yoga class a good place to meet dates?
If you're a straight male, definitely pick up yoga. For straight women, no. Yoga classes are full of women, and the few men who are there are often gay, though Ashtanga yoga attracts a lot of jocks and masochists because it's so over-the-top. I go to the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute in Mysore, India. If you really want to hook up there, it's almost impossible not to. It's full of people with a serious devotion to their practices and a lot of time on their hands.

My boyfriend is intimidated by the size of my vibrator. How can I integrate it into our sex life without making him feel threatened?
Use it on the clitoris without penetration. If it's the size that intimidates him, he's not competing if it's not being used for penetration.

My boyfriend and I never have time for sex. What can we do?
Get over the idea that it has to be in the bed. The couch is a great place. One of my favorite things is straddling a guy when he's sitting upright on a couch. It's a really good position for the woman. Even if you're just hanging out for a few minutes, it can be done. It doesn't have to be a huge production. Twenty minutes is good. Too long can be worse than too short.

I have a crush on someone in my yoga class. How should I approach them?
Make sure you look damn good in spandex. A famous yogi I dated went to India while I was there and got placed next to me. There's a group of standing poses in which you're standing and your feet are spread wide; you put your head on the floor and arch your back. I made sure he had a damn good view of my butt. It was a complete mating dance, and it worked.

I want to have sex with my yoga instructor. Any advice?
Married yogis leave their spouses for students all the time. I don't date married men, but it can be done. I would start by talking to him after class and asking for advice, then find a reason to get his email. Make it practice-related.

When I wear revealing clothes, my boyfriend gets unhappy. Is that a legitimate reason to change my style to something more demure?
Not at all. It's a legitimate reason to change your boyfriend. If your clothes are who you are and you're giving your boyfriend your full attention, then he doesn't have a problem with the way you're behaving. He has a problem with who you are.

How else can yoga benefit my sex life?
It makes me more sensitive to the other person, more in tune with what's going on with their body. And I've noticed that male yogis tend to have good erections, not half-assed, soft-and-mushy erections.

Zahir, 32

I have a crush on someone in my yoga class. How should I approach them?
Say, "I don't want to intrude on your space or your practice, but I do find you attractive and if you would like to go out, I think that would be great. If not, I hope you enjoy your practice and can still maintain your focus."

When I wear revealing clothes, my boyfriend gets unhappy. Is that a legitimate reason to change my style to something more demure?
If you feel you're completely changing who you are as a person, then no. But in a relationship, you have to be selfless to some degree. Clothes are a casual situation. They're not who you really are. You can be sexy in other ways without having to upset your partner.

What yoga moves can I use during sex?
Happy baby pose, where you're on your back and you grab a hold of your feet, opens up the pelvis. And if you practice pranayama, a breathing method in yoga, you have more control over your breath. During sex, right before you're about to come, if you can hold your breath even longer than you normally would, you'll prolong your climax.

My boyfriend is intimidated by the size of my vibrator. How can we use it together during sex without it bothering him?
He's intimidated by the competition and longevity. Tell him that the vibrator is just a machine and that you love him, and that nothing, especially a tool or a toy, is going to take that love away.

AaronAaron Star, 34
www.chelseayoga.net

My boyfriend and I want to try a threesome. Is it better to ask a stranger or someone we know?
From personal experience, I don't think threesomes can really be planned. But the best thing to do is to ask someone you both know. There's a familiarity there, and if it's good, you might want to do it again.

I have a crush on someone in my yoga class. How should I approach them?
If you're a gay man wanting to meet another gay man, go up and talk to him right away. Men have short attention spans. If you're a straight man interested in meeting a woman, talk to her for three months, then ask her for a cup of tea. After having tea four or five times, then ask her out on a date.

My boyfriend is intimidated by the size of my vibrator. How can I integrate it into our sex life without making him feel threatened?
Stick it in him. Most guys want to be penetrated. If the guy is intimidated, my hunch is that he really is interested. Ask him, "Do you want to try it?" But don't bring it up out of the blue. Don't put your dildo on the table during breakfast and say, "Hey, do you want to try this?" You have to dance elegantly around men's egos.

After every fight, my boyfriend shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. How can I get him to open up?
Men and women operate differently. Men need space and don't want to talk. Women always want to talk. If a woman wants to talk to a man about something important, she should ask, "Can we make space for that?"

I'm interested in someone my close friend dated a few years back. When I brought it up, my friend didn't seem too thrilled. Should I go for it anyway?
There are so many people out there. Do you really think your friend's ex is The One?

So I should prioritize my friend's feelings?
If she's really your friend, yes. I wouldn't want anyone I know dating my ex. I would probably crucify them.

Are there any yoga moves that can be used during sex?
There's always the plow pose. And the lover's pose works for those on the receiving or the giving end. Both people sit up in an embrace, and one person is inside the other person, just sitting there and breathing. It's really about two people connecting with the breath — either breathing together in perfect unison or in perfect opposition. It's really powerful.
 

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