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Sex Advice From…College Students

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Warhol said that everyone can be famous for fifteen minutes. Nerve believes anyone can be a sexpert for at least thirty seconds. This week, we interrogated college undergrads.

Larissa, 19

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Is it okay to have anal sex on a first date?
That’s a vibe thing. For me, the vibe has never been good at any time. But if it feels right and you want to, that’s fine.

I’m dating a guy who sucks at giving head. What tips should I give him?
Oh my God, this is my area of expertise! My whole life, guys have sucked at it. Tell them to do it like they’re kissing you. Be comfortable enough to tell him what feels good and what doesn’t. Even if you have to press it. Most guys don’t know how to do it right, and you have to soothe their ego to make them good at it.

If you’re in a bar and someone buys you a drink, do you owe them anything? Like, five minutes of conversation?
I pay for my own drinks. I feel more in control that way. I don’t like it if some stranger buys me alcohol and expects me to, like, go down on him in the bathroom. It’s not gonna happen.

I just realized that when my boyfriend and I have sex on the side of the bed closest to the wall, my neighbors can probably see us. It turns me on, but I think he would flip out. Is it wrong not to tell him?

No. [Hearty laughter] He might just stop if he catches on. If he doesn’t know, it won’t hurt him.

You’ve had bad sex with someone three times, but you’re still attracted to him. Is there hope for the future?
Depends on the circumstances. I could forgive three times, but after that I would try to see what else wasn’t working. I don’t think some people are just naturally bad at sex. It’s just another level of learning. It’s a matter of figuring it out. So if you’re not figuring it out, or they’re just being lazy, you need to work together.

So bad sex is mostly due to laziness?
I think so. And I feel that a lot of guys — [lowers voice conspiratorially] especially at this school — just learn how to seduce a girl. They learn how to kiss, and they learn how to fondle you, but they don’t learn how to have sex. They don’t learn how to go down. They only aspire to get a girl, not, like, keep her around. I think most guys at this point in their life, think they’ll always have their pick. Like we’ll always be young girls they can just fool around with.

What’s the best position for the quickest mutual orgasm?
I guess doggy style works for me. I wish there was a better name for it, but it’s okay.

Is it weird to have sex in a graveyard?
I wrote a movie about having sex in a graveyard!

Oh really.
But it was, like, a fantasy. The girl is, like, dead, and he brings her back to life.

Nice.
Yeah, in theory it’s kind of cool. But I’d feel kind of disrespectful really doing it.

Lenny, 18

My friend can only meet girls when he’s drunk. How can he do it sober?
He should try talking to girls when he’s not intoxicated at all. Not the same maneuvers, but act as if you don’t have any inhibitions. If you’re drunk and making a fool out of yourself, it’s not going to happen in any case. So, yeah, just do the same things as if you were drunk, but try not to be as messy about it.

A date tells you he or she wants to try water sports. Do you dare or do you dump?
Definitely dare.

You know what water sports are, right?
What are they?

Urination.
Never mind, then.

What’s the best way to initiate a first kiss?
Definitely don’t make any statements, like, “Okay, I’m going to kiss you now.”

My guy refuses to hold my hand in public. What does this mean?
Uh, well, he might have, like, problems with PDA, public displays of affection, but you need to show that you’re dedicated to the girl. So, tough shit, really.

Is there such a thing as a successful pick-up line?
Only if the person giving it doesn’t take himself seriously.

When taking a significant other home to meet your parents, would you have sex in your childhood bed, provided it’s still there?
Yeah, definitely. Why not live out the dream?

Is it okay to have anal sex on a first date?
Unless you really see yourself having any kind of future with that person, or if you’re just really intoxicatingly drunk, in which case I’m going to say no.

Can you have a good relationship if the sex is just good, not great?
Yeah, because the cornerstone of the relationship can’t be sex. Sex is just a benefit of the relationship. So if your partner sucks in bed, give them tips and hope that they take it lightly.

Mariah, 20
A date tells you he or she wants to try water sports. Do you dare or do you dump?
Totally do it! Water sports? Yeah, that’s fun! Why wouldn’t you?

Do you know what ‘water sports’ refers to?
Like, waterskiing.

No, it’s urinating.
Oh. I would do it.

You would?
Well, I wouldn’t let them urinate in my mouth, and I would make sure I didn’t have any open cuts that are bleeding.

My friend says she can only orgasm when she’s by herself. How can she loosen up when she’s hooking up?
Try masturbating with someone. And tell her partner what she likes about being with herself and then work from there.

My current beau asked me what I fantasize about, but, horribly, it’s my ex-boyfriend. Can he handle the truth?
Well, that’s really specific. The fantasy may be about the ex-boyfriend, but you could easily replace that with some generic man or some famous guy. I think that would be a lot less harsh. Once, when my boyfriend and I were making love, there was music playing, it was a mix he had made me. This song comes on, and we’re having a great time, and he was like, [sexy voice] “I had really good sex once listening to this song.”

Is there such a thing as a successful pick-up line?
Probably not, unless it’s “Can I buy you a drink?”

So if someone does buy you a drink, do you owe them anything?
Yeah, I think you owe them a little bit of conversation. Just a little bit. If it gets uncomfortable, just say no thank you. That’s essentially the same as saying, “I’m through with you.” Because, you know, you don’t have to take the drink.

What’s the best position for quickest mutual orgasm?
From behind, I’d say. Or actually, no, sort of lying on your stomach, and him on top.

What’s the best position for female satisfaction?
Well, that all depends. I like 69 a lot, but that’s very intimate. I guess it depends on whether you feel like really getting the spiritual experience. Physically, 69 is the best one. Oh, another one is legs-over-the-shoulders. I don’t know what that one’s called, though.

What’s the worst thing a guy/girl can do in bed?
He could, like, murder you. That would be pretty bad. Uncouth? Bringing up an ex, and how great they were at something that you are engaging in at that time. That’s pretty generic, but still really bad.


Emerita, 19

My friend can only meet girls when he’s drunk. What should he do to meet them when he’s sober?
Dress better, have some ideas for conversation, be yourself and don’t be drunk.

Is it okay to have anal sex on a first date?
No! No way! No!

So, my guy refuses to hold my hand in public. What does this mean?
He’s embarrassed of you. Well, it depends. Maybe they’re not outgoing, or they don’t want people to know. But sometimes I feel that it’s because they’re kind of ashamed of you.

If you’re in a bar and someone buys you a drink, do you owe them anything? Like, five minutes of conversation?
No. Maybe five. Well, I don’t think you owe them anything sexually at all, but if they buy you a drink you should be courteous enough to say, “Oh, thank you, where are you from?” That kind of thing.

What’s the most strangely arousing place you’ve had sex?
A countertop, maybe.

I want to talk dirty in bed, but I’ve never done it before. How do I start?
Start out on the phone.

What’s the worst thing a guy/girl can do in bed?
Fart.

Zack, 18

My friend likes to meet girls at parties and take them home. Problem is, he thinks he can only meet girls when he’s drunk. What should he do?
He should find a large social situation, like a concert or a movie. You can find windows of opportunity with girls and kind of capitalize on that, then slowly come in contact more and more. You know, start little, then open up. It’s all about conversation.

What’s the best way to initiate a first kiss?
Usually I comment on the hair or something, then start touching the hair and just move in.

Is there such a thing as a successful pickup line?
Just one pickup line? No, it’s gotta be a whole project, like a conversation.

What’s the most strangely arousing place you’ve had sex?
On the roof of my house.

When taking a boy/girlfriend home to meet your parents, would you have sex in your childhood bed, provided it’s still there?
[emphatically] Yes.

What’s the best position for quickest mutual orgasm?
Doggie.

I want to talk dirty in bed, but I’ve never done it before. How do I start?
Say the first thing that comes to your mind and just let it flow.

I’m branching out from the missionary position: give me a quick lesson in kink for beginners.
It’s called the Internet.

Interviews by Sarah Harrison.


Sex Advice From… appears Thursdays. Do you have sex-advice questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

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