Introduction — by Rufus Griscom
Doing the Butt: A Complete Guide to Anal Fun
G Lust and Special Sauce: The Mysterious World of the G-Spot and Female
Ejaculation
Sex Toys Won't Break Your Heart: Plugging in Your Sex Life
Kink, It's Not What You Think: BDSM for the Rest of Us
Read This Chapter: Sexually Transmitted Diseases You Could Have Right
Now!
From the Chapter
Doing the Butt: A Complete Guide to Anal Fun
Freud really fucked things up. Add ass play to the long
list of fun sex acts he turned into big social no-no's.
Sure, he said fascination with your own fanny was an
important and necessary part of a child's development, but
then he diagnosed that same pleasure in adults as immature
and dysfunctional. 
Why should kids have all the fun? Admit
it: There's nothing quite like a satisfying poop. After
the sneeze, it's probably the closest bodily function to
an orgasm.
Freud's not the only party pooper, though; there are
myriad reasons why people still have a bug up their ass
about anal play, even a hundred years later. Homophobia's
a biggie: Hetero men (and even their girlfriends) worry
that using his exit as an entrance will "turn him gay." Or
at least turn him girly — which stems from a long,
uncool tradition of rigidly defined gender roles and
sexism. Germaphobes worry that it's too dirty — and
not in that good naughty way. Prudes worry that it's too
dirty in that good naughty way. Tight-asses worry about
loose sphincters and incontinence. And some people just
don't like the color brown.
Pshaw, we say. First of all, having anal sex is as
likely to turn you gay as renting Mommy Dearest.
(And believe it or not, many gay men never go
dirt-roading.) Secondly, for macho meatheads, getting
butt-fucked by their girlfriends might be a much-needed
mind fuck, a powerful lesson in gender–role
reversal. There are also simple ways to keep things tidy
so you don't end up with a sepia-toned crime scene in your
bedroom. As for the prudes, they should know better than
anyone that breaking taboos is half the fun. And with
enough relaxation, communication, lubrication, and TLC,
anal sex can actually strengthen your sphincter
muscles. Finally, everyone knows that brown is the new
black.
The only excuse you have for not having fun with
your ass is not knowing where to start. So let's
rectify that situation, shall we?... Buy
The Big Bang, pretty please with cherries on top!
From the Chapter
G Lust and Special Sauce: The Mysterious World of the
G-Spot and Female Ejaculation
Q: Do all women have a G-spot?
A: Yes.
Q: Do all women like having their G-spot stimulated?
A: No.
Q: Can women ejaculate?
A: Yes.
Q: Is it pee?
A: No.
Q: Is female ejaculation a result of G-spot stimulation?
A: Usually.
Q: Can I teach myself (or my partner) to female ejaculate?
A: Maybe.
Q: Why do cats lick their pussies?
A: Because they can!
If only it were that simple. Don't get us wrong —
these answers are all right on, but each invariably leads
to a hundred more questions. (You're so demanding.)
Before we attempt to answer them all, let's get one
thing straight: By "G-spot," we don't mean a magic button
that's guaranteed to transport all women everywhere to
orgasmic bliss every time it's pressed; nor do we mean
your girlfriend's own personal sweet spot (whether it's in
her vagina or her armpit). No, the G-spot is a
particularly sensitive area that's stimulated by applying
pressure to roof of the vagina — and provoking it may
or may not lead to orgasm and/or female ejaculation. Like
almost everything about sex, it depends.
The G-spot has been embraced and shunned by the
public more times than Mike Tyson. And then there are
those people who could give a shit about either. The
debate (or lack thereof) stems from the dearth of serious
medical research on the subject. Oh yeah, and from sexism,
too — a lot of people think ejaculating is
unladylike. The G-spot and female ejaculation are the
misunderstood goth teens of the sex world.
But not understanding them completely doesn't mean
you can't enjoy them. In fact, we kind of like the idea
that we still don't know everything about sex. It gives us
something to look forward to.... Look forward to
reading the rest of this chapter — buy the book!
From the Chapter
Sex Toys Won't Break Your Heart: Plugging in Your Sex Life
The idea of sticking objects up against and inside one's
body for sexual pleasure has been around since the dawn of
fruit. Images of dildos pop up in Upper Paleolithic art,
on ancient Greek vases, and in Chinese paintings from the
1800s. 
For centuries, the use of dildos was prescribed and
administered by doctors to women who were thought to
suffer from "hysteria," a mental illness caused by the
inability (or unwillingness) to derive pleasure from
"normal" boy/girl in-out sex. Apparently, jerking these
ladies off was tough work for the good doctors, who
eventually got lazy and invented a mechanical vibrator in
the 1880s to pick up the slack. Nobody seemed to think any
of this was weird until the 1920s, when the porn industry
co-opted these "medical devices" for their own naughty
purposes. It was another thirty years before the American
Psychiatric Association woke up and smelled the misogyny,
deleting hysteria from their official list of psychoses.
Which is not to say that everything's happy-go-lucky
in sex toy land these days. In Japan, for example, it's
illegal to manufacture objects that resemble an
anatomically correct dick — hence the prevalence of
really well-made toys adorned with creepy faces and
bunnies. And in Texas, dildos can only be sold and bought
for "educational purposes." Some stores even have you sign
a release confirming your honorable intentions.
But you probably don't live in Texas, lucky duck.
Which means it's getting easier to score some premo
proppage. The Internet, bless its big heart, provides not
only the sex ed you wish you'd had in high school, but
also discreet, shame-free shopping (especially for
Texans). More education means higher demand, which means
better quality products and well-lit, non-sleazy stores to
buy them in. In fact, more and more couples make a night
out of shopping for sex toys together (which is usually
less scary than surprising your partner with a
fourteen-inch dildo in the middle of a nice romantic
sesh). Sure, you'll still find people who think of sex
toys as a crutch, as unfair competition, or as tools of
the devil (especially in Texas). But the smart people
realize they're called toys for a reason.
The following is a guide to the kind of gear you can
use to climb Mount O....Toys don't tease but we do
— you'll have to buy the book to get the rest!
From the Chapter
Kink, It's Not What You Think: BDSM for the Rest of Us
What makes great sex great? The hot pursuit? The
triumph of persistence over impediments? The deliberate
and planned seduction? The unexpected, the unpredictable,
the unknown? The psychological drama of the moment? The
breach of taboos? Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
When your sex life is missing any or all of these
elements, you can become bored. Perhaps a long-term
relationship has lost a little of that once bright and
shining spark, or you yourself have become a creature of
habit, sinking into a familiar rut with partners old and
new. But what if we said you could get back all the
excitement you once knew, and then some? What if we
said you could make your fantasies a reality, safely and
discreetly, with just a little effort and no money down?
Forget everything (you think) you know about BDSM
(i.e. bondage & discipline, domination & submission, and
sadomasochism). No, you don't have to join a weird club or
learn the Trekkie-esque lingo or be a former theater major
to enjoy them. You don't even have to like pain or gimp
outfits. This chapter is not about giving up "normal" sex,
adopting a new "lifestyle," joining a "community," or
becoming a "freak." It's about making sex hotter. It's
about giving voice to your darker, maybe even slightly
disturbing desires by exploring new sensations, using
restraints, dressing up (or down), playing make believe
and other mind games — with or without actual
intercourse. It's about making kink a part of your
everyday sex life ... Okay, maybe just your weekend and
holiday sex life.
Take from this chapter what you will. Some people
favor the physical aspects of BDSM, others are more into
the mental side of it. There's no right or wrong way to
play (except, of course, when it comes to safety and
consent) — if it turns you and your partner on, that's all
that matters. Don't worry about what anyone else would
think, or what they'd call it. Just because you like
something a little kinky, doesn't mean that you're damaged
goods or you suffered some childhood trauma. Just because
you like to be tied up, spanked, and called "bitch,"
doesn't mean you're a bad feminist. Just because you want
to play-rape your boyfriend, doesn't mean you have
criminal tendencies.
Pushing your boundaries to push your buttons takes
some planning. It also requires trust, communication, and
a little love (you can't brew its opposite — a little
sadistic hate — without it). That's why experimenting with
comfort zones is easier, safer, and usually more
satisfying when you're in a long-term relationship. So
we're not going to give you a tour of anonymous power play
or SM nightclubs here. (That's what late-night HBO's for,
right?) Read this chapter with a luvva, and then figure
out who's going to service whom tonight....You know
you want more, click here!
From the Chapter
Read This Chapter: Sexually Transmitted Diseases You Could
Have Right Now!
Don't even think about skipping this chapter, because
whatever you know, it's not enough. Our sex-obsessed
nation suffers from a collective case of denial —
we've got the highest rate of sexually transmitted
diseases and infections (STDs) of any industrialized
country because we've quarantined the hot, wet, steamy
fantasies away from the cold, harsh, health realities. But
the two go together like brownies and nuts. Stigma, shame,
and stupidity keep people from talking openly about sex,
and from taking care of their own health and the health of
their loved/lusted ones. 
But if one in five people
currently has an STD, then that snarky remark you just
made about the clap to a group of friends could
inadvertently hurt someone's feelings. And if one in three
will contract an STD at some point, then that snarky
person you just fucked could inadvertently hurt
your genitals.
You know why flings are called "flavors of the
week"? Because each one might have a different STD. With
over thirty flavors to choose from and millions of people
infected, sex ends up being a numbers game: The more
people you boink, the more likely you are to be exposed to
an STD. But that doesn't mean you couldn't get something
from your very first partner. So basically, when you fuck,
you're fucked. Look, unless you're planning on having sex
with your virgin high school sweetheart for the rest of
your life, you will be exposed to an STD if you're
not careful. Hell, you can be exposed even if you
are careful, because condoms can't protect you from
everything (including some viral stuff like herpes and HPV
which can be treated but have no cure). Even kissing, that
most innocent and intimate of sex acts, can transmit the
herpes and hepatitis viruses. That's why it's called
safer sex: There's no such thing as safe sex.
(Except for maybe cyber sex and circle jerks.)
If we may be so bold, we're going to say that if
you're sexually active then you've probably been exposed
to something, whether you know it or not. You might not
have anything right now, but then again, you might (which
is why you should get tested). So what if we're being
over-the-top, fatalistic, melodramatic, inflamed —
it's not going to stop you from having sex, is it? Didn't
think so. But maybe, just maybe, it'll make you reconsider
wrapping the sausage and asking the awkward questions.
Did you know that most STDs have absolutely no
symptoms? NONE! So no more of this "I've never had any
problems so I'm 'clean'" line of BS. Here's another one to
grow on: Most STDs increase the chance of HIV
transmission. Here's another: If you've got more than one
infection at a time (oh, it happens), they can make
each other worse. These babies aren't like the chicken pox
either: You can get most of them more than once. Here's
another from the All's-Unfair-in-Love-and-War department:
Women are more likely to develop serious medical problems
and suffer from chronic conditions caused by STDs, while
guys often just carry the infections, without symptoms or
complications — apparently a twig and two berries is a lot
less susceptible than a whole bush. But while men may not
have to worry about their dicks falling off as much as
women have to fret about their reproductive organs
malfunctioning, they need to take responsibility for the
havoc they may be unintentionally wreaking on vaginas out
there. Hey, this is tough love, people....Save your
genitals, click here!