The glaring difference? Dozens of cuckold websites affirm that today's cucks aren't just standing helplessly by. They're begging well-endowed men to have sex with their insatiable wives.

The cuckold community remains largely online, though in San Francisco, the private club Cuckold Dreams hosts parties for its members. On Haway.org, run by Seattle-based cuckolder Rusty Haway, members can browse ads, post forums and share stories, video and photos. CuckoldPlace.com (a more advanced site where "52,417 registered users can't be wrong!"), has different categories for members to explore: interracial, intergenerational, basic, ultimate. Here, ads are posted by couples and bulls from all over the world, and range from detailed accounts (accompanied with dick pics and email addresses) to traditional social networking ("Any bulls in Indianapolis?") Advice is solicited and shared: "Should Wife spend Her vacation along with Her lover(s)?" And, "Should the cuck be chastised?" On the utilitarian Craigslist, dozens of cuckolding-related ads can be found on any given day, though the majority are bulls looking for hotwives.

Other sites

"Most black men are not offended by the stereotype that they're well-hung. What gets on my nerves is when the ad says, 'We want a gold-toothed, baggy-pants type,'"

feature images ranging from semen dripping over wedding bands to ethereal caucasian goddesses standing next to black men in mirrored shades. The race thing is one of cuckolding's more uncomfortable aspects. On most cuckolding sites, such as blacksonwives.com and myslutwife.com, there is an overwhelming preoccupation with "Mandingos," or well-endowed black men. Similar racial parameters exist in the swinging community, as highlighted in Details magazine's March article on "Mandingo parties" — interracial orgies arranged for single black men to have sex with white wives in front of their white husbands. The popularity of the orgies is buttressed by a two-prong fantasy: the white couple's fetish for a "BBC" (big, black cock), and the Mandingo's fetish for having sex with rich, white wives. All participants get something out of it, and a Mandingo even argues that interracial orgies are a by-product of multiculturalism and tolerance. But bigotry — and a dose of white guilt — lie at the heart of any racialized fetish: black men, despite their "superior" sexual prowess, are debased and eroticized, and believed to pose less of a threat because the wives would supposedly never date them.

The cucks I interviewed denied having a preference for Mandingos, but would eventually admit some sort of racialized, if not racist, baggage. Bob, a forty-seven-year-old caucasian male, says he found a relationship through an online ad posted by a woman pursuing black bulls. "I emailed her because I was hoping to fall in love with a sexual white woman who does black guys," he says. "We hooked up and it was really wild."

"In American cuckold culture," he adds, "it's the white couple that has black bulls. There's a notion that black men are better-endowed, and the whole idea of white men getting off on feeling sexually inferior to black men."

A Black-Puerto Rican bull I interviewed does not answer white couples' ads because "they tend to be more rigid in terms of what they look for in a bull," he says. "If you're a black bull, you'd better fit the mold of what the stereotypical black guy is. To them, he's a cornrow-wearing thug or basketball player. They're more into the fantasy — the big, black Mandingo."

"Most black men are not offended by the stereotype that they're well-hung," he continues. "But what gets on my nerves is when the ad says, 'We want a gold-toothed, baggy-pants type,' or, 'We want you to look like Allen Iverson or Usher.' You know what? The typical bull on Craigslist is not going to look like Usher, so get over your stereotype and deal with it."

The identity politics don't stop there. While watching another man have sex with his female partner, a cuck also negotiates a

"I would never go out to a gay club and blow guys. Cuckolding allows us to express these desires without having to actually have sex with a man."

homoerotic encounter in a way that feels less threatening to his heterosexual identity. A cuck with latent bisexual or gay tendencies may be unwilling to have sex with a man, but can concede to watching his woman in the act and vicariously experience it through her. If he decides to perform oral sex on a bull, it's spun as an act meant to please his female partner. The presence of a conduit — the wife or girlfriend — helps to contain his desires within a safer scope of bi-curious sexuality. Bob, for example, would consider being forced into oral sex with a bull, "but I would never go out to a gay club and blow guys. For men, it's taboo to have bisexual relationships. Cuckolding allows us to express these desires without having to actually have sex with a man."

In his erotic nineteenth-century novel Venus in Furs, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch writes of a character who tells his lover, "Suffering has a peculiar attraction for me. Nothing can intensify my passion more than tyranny, cruelty and especially the faithlessness of a beautiful woman." These predilections were later detailed in The Confessions of Wanda von Sacher-Masoch, written by his wife, also known as Aurora Rümelin. According to the memoir, von Sacher-Masoch forced her to take on additional lovers so that he could experience the pain and humiliation of "infidelity," and was so obsessed with being cuckolded that he personally set up liaisons with other men for his wife, and threatened her if she didn't cooperate.

And this is how cuckolding, or any fetish, complicates the notion of who is actually in control. For a fantasy that requires the roles of submissive males and dominant females, is the "forceful and lust-driven wife" really the controlling party when coerced into making her husband's wet dream a reality?

Bob believes cuckolding relationships should be based on mutual consent, and would never twist a woman's arm into cuckoldry. But similar to von Sacher-Masoch, he often has to coax his girlfriends into participating in his fetish. If they refuse, the relationship ends. If they agree, Bob becomes both the submissive cuck and the voice of authority. "I've trained girlfriends to be more dominant, and how to properly tease and humiliate me," he says. "Women are usually not born as cuckoldresses."




Commentarium (304 Comments)

Aug 30 12 - 2:12pm
cuck wanabee

I have had this fantasy for several years, and it only seems to be getting stronger. I have shared it with my wife and she is ok to fantasize about getting fucked by other men (she seems to get wetter) and sucking their cocks even doing threesomes with 2 other guys (she really likes the idea of being double penetrated) but says that she isn't interested in doing the real thing. To be perfectly honest, I'm not really sure I would be willing to take it beyond the fantasy stage, but the fantasy part gets me incredibly hard and turned on. I will say the sissy, wimp part of it holds no interest for me, don't want to be denied or caged or be dominated, just love the idea of watching her cum on a really large cock!! I really get turned on when she is kissing me and pretending to be getting fucked from behind!! I am excited that we have a special date this weekend and she has informed me that she is going to dress slutty for me and I will let her go into the hotel bar we're staying at by herself while watching to see if men hit on her - I know they will as she is beautiful (even if I am biased) she won't be wearing any panties so we'll see how far we're willing to go.

Sep 12 12 - 1:06am

I love watching my girl get ting fucked by another man ... however why do cuckold adds always say a cuck will be 100% faithful ? I can honestly say its a complete turn on for someone to fuck my wif and make her come over and over ... it makes me wana fuck her that much more ! and 90% of the time thats what gets me off ... but theres also another side of me ... I love cheating on her too ... not all the time but every now and then i run into a super fine chick that ends up in a motel nitght .. while i am supposed to be working ...haha I knowe its wrong because im doing it behind her back .. but when i had asked if i could also find fuck buddies on my own .. she replied NO! its was not in our agreement it makes her jelous but yet she can get banged whenever she wants ,... and yes I know it was me who pushed the issue and yet i fuck younger girls and let her know i do whike we have sex :) even if it makes her fume!

Sep 12 12 - 10:11pm

As old as this article is I am amazed to see people still commenting on it......so I'll add to it. We are a married couple that has been together for 30'years. We've discussed having a third in the bedroom to add to the spice of the relationship. The article above was well done and many of the comments show the diversity of open minded, consenting adults. I look forward to the day when my wife accepts the advances of another guy or allows me to arrange an encounter where she gets to experience the feel and taste of another cock. I want to be there to see the joy and pleasure on her face and watch as she is brought to orgasm by someone other than me. We dont care about their race, penis size, or occupation. I want her to enjoy all that four hands, two mouths and two cocks can bring her.
When it does happen it will be because we are all consenting to it....no one will be humiliated or used or treated with anything other than respect. If what we do does not fit into the narrow lane of what others find acceptable then that's too bad....we'll be sure not to invite those folks into our bedroom and we only ask that they stay out.
Looking forward to adventurous and pleasurable times.

Sep 17 12 - 7:08pm

i want a man in michigan in front of husband or with