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14.) Zachary Taylor
Who can resist a man in uniform? Not to mention that Taylor's nickname was "Old Rough and Ready."
13.) George H.W. Bush
Bushes elder and younger have almost the same face, so it would be wrong of us to place him too far from his progeny. But honestly, now that we've all seen him throw up, the magic is gone. Plus, "ineffectual" is never sexy. (In contrast, say what you will about Dubya, but he completely fucked up the entire country with undeniable verve.)
12.) James K. Polk
Okay, so he had a mullet. But there's a quiet, distinguished air about him. Kind of like Mario Lopez.
11.) George Washington
He was a tall, a war hero, and rode a white horse. He also had bad teeth, but being the father of the country can get you forgiven for a lot of things.
10.) Abraham Lincoln
The tallest president at six-foot-four, Lincoln was a successful lawyer, a great conversationalist, and had "O Captain, My Captain" written about him. There's a reason people still hotly debate this guy's sexual orientation and not, say, Grover Cleveland's.
9.) Ronald Reagan
He was the oldest president, which is a big disadvantage, but it's impossible to forget that this guy was also a movie star. There's also hard evidence that Nancy was a freak in her younger days.
8.) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Rich, good-looking, charismatic, and sensitive to the needs of others. Not to mention, you have to hand it to a man who was elected four times. We love a winner.
7.) George W. Bush
It's hard to separate politics from the image with the younger Bush, but lets be honest, if he had remained owner of the Texas Rangers, he would have been one of the sexiest businessmen in America. He's fun, spontaneous, obsessed with his body, and knows how to party. Bush is great one-night-stand material for all the same reasons that he was a terrible president.
6.) Bill Clinton
We may joke about his choice in women, but remember, those are only the ones we know about. Even if he's not the best-looking, he oozes sex appeal. When Bill Clinton enters the room, the party starts.
5.) Franklin Pierce
There's not much to say about this obscure president, except that he's gorgeous. He's like Johnny Depp, but without as much to show for himself.
4.) Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson was tall, gentlemanly, and he wrote the Declaration of Independence. But he was also a firebrand, heading to France and stoking the fires of revolution there (and in our pants).
3.) Barack Obama
Smart, funny, and have you seen him with his shirt off? Barack Obama is a damn sexy man, with a damn sexy wife, and two adorable daughters. He's also a certifiable genius. Don't think he knows how to let loose? During the campaign, he'd often take control of event music, playing Michael Jackson off his iPod.
2.) John F. Kennedy
For a long time, the Kennedys topped the unspoken list of Celebrities America Would Like to Bang. But only Jack had Marilyn. In terms of simple sex appeal, JFK can really only be compared to himself.
1.) Theodore Roosevelt
At first glance, Roosevelt may be a strange choice for number one, but the guy had everything. He wasn't the best-looking president, but he was damn handsome. He was in ridiculously good shape and a rugged outdoorsman. He cared passionately about the environment, bravely lead the way into battle, and fought against corruption in every office he held. Theodore Roosevelt was so sexy that if he slept with your girlfriend, you'd be flattered. He's part Chuck Norris (meme Chuck Norris, not actual Chuck Norris), part Evel Knievel, part John Wayne, and part Daniel Craig. He was the most popular man in America for a reason, and our sexiest president ever.