Current Events

Tucker Carlson thinks maybe the U.S. should just completely destroy Iran

Tucker Carlson thinks maybe the U.S. should just completely destroy Iran

Iran: apparently we need to go to war with it like yesterday, because its nuclear program may have military aspects, even though we can't say for…
Cyborg Alert: There will be Google-powered glasses by the end of the year

Cyborg Alert: There will be Google-powered glasses by the end of the year

Bluetooth technology has been on the market for years and people using it still look like chumps. But the quest to make our technology stick to…
How creepy is this article about Target tracking customer purchasing information?

How creepy is this article about Target tracking customer purchasing information?

Facebook is storing your private data for unknown reasons. Google's keeping a record of what kinds of websites you're visiting. Whatever…
David Cross snorted coke under his table at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

David Cross snorted coke under his table at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

In a new interview with — where else? — Playboy, David Cross admits that he did a bump of coke while in the same room as Barack Obama…
Cell phones are turning us all into jerks

Cell phones are turning us all into jerks

You may have suspected this already, but researchers from the University of Maryland's Robert H. Smith School of Business have confirmed it:…
The FBI teaches you how to spot a terrorist at your local coffee spot

The FBI teaches you how to spot a terrorist at your local coffee spot

A good terrorist will normally start their attacks out early in the morning, before heading to work as an evil dogwalker/intern. A good terrorist…
New Jersey passes same-sex marriage bill, Gov. Christie promises to veto

New Jersey passes same-sex marriage bill, Gov. Christie promises to veto

The New Jersey Assembly passed a bill to legalize same-sex marriage this afternoon 42-33, only three days after the state Senate passed companion…
Amanda Knox sells her memoir for $4 million dollars

Amanda Knox sells her memoir for $4 million dollars

From 2007 through 2011, Amanda Knox was in a living hell. Accused of murdering her roommate while studying abroad in Italy, her life was a…
69-year-old Paul McCartney gives up cannabis for 8-year-old daughter

69-year-old Paul McCartney gives up cannabis for 8-year-old daughter

Sir Paul McCartney, the almost-septuagenarian who sounds as smooth as ever, told Rolling Stone magazine in an interview that, after only…
Martha Stewart took her dog to lunch at the Plaza

Martha Stewart took her dog to lunch at the Plaza

I mean, why wouldn't she? How else is Genghis Khan the Chow Chow supposed to ready himself for a trying day at the Westminster Dog Show? Come…
Man has heart attack while eating "Triple Bypass Burger" at  Heart Attack Grill

Man has heart attack while eating "Triple Bypass Burger" at Heart Attack Grill

Terribly, inevitably, a man suffered a heart attack while eating a "triple bypass burger" at a restaurant called the Heart Attack…
Brooklyn parents embrace "babyccino" trend

Brooklyn parents embrace "babyccino" trend

Denizens of Brooklyn, don't be surprised if you start seeing dozens of amped-up, flannel-swaddled infants huddling outside your local…
Canada outsources jobs to America; America horrified at being "Canada's China"

Canada outsources jobs to America; America horrified at being "Canada's China"

Are we in a recession or something? After a failed attempt to halve employee wages at their Ontario plant, Caterpillar has shut down in Ontario…
Terrifying/awesome photographs of dogs underwater

Terrifying/awesome photographs of dogs underwater

What's that? You thought pet photography was terminally kitsch? Think again, mortal. Because pet photographer Seth Casteel's underwater…
Karl Lagerfeld calls Adele "too fat," talks about Lana Del Rey's "implants"

Karl Lagerfeld calls Adele "too fat," talks about Lana Del Rey's "implants"

Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld (you know, the sunglasses freak with the wooden fans) acted as Metro Paris' guest editor on Monday…
England's robo-cops will take your picture and then yell at you

England's robo-cops will take your picture and then yell at you

"Pics or it didn't happen!" As you may know, England loves itself some surveillance. In 2009 London alone had about 7,431 CCTV…
Catholic school suspends 9-year-old for crotch-grabbing Michael Jackson dance routine

Catholic school suspends 9-year-old for crotch-grabbing Michael Jackson dance routine

Earlier this week, St. Stanislaus Elementary School in Winona, Minnesota held their annual lip-sync fundraiser, which started out fine and dandy…
Nation of Qatar paid a record $250 million for Cezanne painting

Nation of Qatar paid a record $250 million for Cezanne painting

Paul Cezanne (you know, the Post-Impressionist dude who had a thing for fruit) produced a number of oil paintings (known collectively as The…
Doctors using club-drug Special K to cure depression instantly

Doctors using club-drug Special K to cure depression instantly

As anyone who has taken medication to treat depression surely knows, the beneficial effects of such drugs don't kick in right after you take…
Publishers fear a "post-apocalyptic" world where Barnes & Noble is gone and Amazon reigns

Publishers fear a "post-apocalyptic" world where Barnes & Noble is gone and Amazon reigns

Now that, if you can believe it, Barnes & Noble is the last chain bookstore left in the country, the role they once played as the villain of…