Shortly thereafter, Blaire Allison came out and quickly intuited who my classmates were (the third student was a happy, curly-haired youth in his mid-twenties). She led us down the hallway of dance studios until we came to our own little box-like room.

We men sat in three folding chairs, and in front of us stood our smiling, cute, red-headed teacher. Blaire took a seat at the back of the room.

"I'm Heather," said our instructor, sitting down on a folding chair. She was wearing black slacks, a purple, frilly tuxedo top and low heels. "I'm bisexual," she continued, "and, of course, I'm a woman, so I'm coming at this from two places of experience. So I just want to commend you. It takes a lot of courage to be here, and it takes a lot of courage in the bedroom."

She seemed a little nervous. She was blushing somewhat — she had fair skin to go with her red hair. She said, "Can each of you give us your name or a made-up name, and why you like to go down on women?" She looked at me to start, and I was a little taken aback by how quickly we were jumping into things, so I idiotically said, "Did you ask why we like to go down on women?"

"Yes," she said, smiling.

"Well, my name is Jonathan," I said, suddenly brave, "and I like to go down on women because I like to be lost in there, just disappear in there, and I like to make women feel good." I hoped that Blaire, sitting somewhere behind me, was taking note.

"I'm Craig," said the curly-haired boy, following me, "and I like to go down on women for the same reason that Jonathan does."

"I'm Aresh," said the bewigged man, and he stopped there, showing some self-respect, unlike Craig and myself.

The first thing Heather covered was the breast. Blaire gave each of us green balloons. I had trouble tying the knot on my balloon and felt embarrassed. I've always struggled with balloons. I nearly asked Craig to tie my balloon for me, but then at the last moment I rallied and got the thing knotted.

I air-sucked my balloon, and Heather said, "You have to practice," and I whined, "I don't like the taste of balloons," so she didn't press the issue.

Heather demonstranted how to stroke the breast using her balloon. It was fairly basic info, though she went on to suggest licking all around the breast and the areola before sucking on the nipple, explaining that this felt good for a woman. Then she wanted us to suck our balloons to practice our "suckling." I air-sucked my balloon, and Heather said, "You have to practice," and I whined, "I don't like the taste of balloons," so she didn't press the issue. Aresh and Craig, hearing my protest, took their mouths off their balloons. I felt bad that I was leading a small rebellion.

After the breast, we moved down below. We were presented with a diagram of a vagina, and I was happy to see that the clitoris was located just where I thought it was: a little bump at the top!

Heather told us that we were to first to "pet" the whole area — hips, legs, belly. "Then, after petting, the next is swirling," said Heather, indicating a motion that we might use with our fingers on the clitoris. "But keep the hood down," she warned. She had mentioned the clitoral hood while showing us the diagram, and indicated now that one should "not lift the hood," that the clitoris was too sensitive to be exposed this way. This was very good information. I had known there was a hood there, had heard about it, but I had always mistakenly thought that the clit and the hood were joined or something. I didn't know that it could be lifted, like the hood of a car. Knowledge!

After swirling, Heather told us that there was "good old finger fucking," and that each woman was different as to how many fingers she might like inside her. In fact, throughout the class, Heather kept reminding us that all women are different. This echoed what a friend of mine had told me one night in a bar. Before taking the class, I had asked her the most common mistake that a man makes in bed, and she launched into a passionate, somewhat intoxicated speech: "I don't like a guy who keeps doing the same thing that must have worked with some other girl — some Cindy! Some kind of Vulcan Death Pinch that he's developed. Every girl is a new map. Girls are like mini-golf courses. There are lots of holes. There's a windmill and a village. We're not all some Cindy!"

Heather went on to tell us that for most women the G-spot is two-to-three inches inside, and that the best way to get a woman to ejaculate was to stimulate her G-spot.

"When a woman ejaculates, what is it that comes out of her?" I asked.

"There's a build-up of fluids," she said.

"It's not urine?" I asked.

"Girls are like mini-golf courses. There are lots of holes. There's a windmill and a village. We're not all some Cindy!"

"No."

I didn't go into it, but one time a girl ejaculated on my face, and I wasn't sure what the hell had happened, but I had liked it — it was warm and lovely.

Feeling talkative, I then said, "Can we go back to the clit a moment?" Heather nodded her assent. "Well," I said, "a lot of times when I'm manually pleasing a woman, my finger slips off what I think is the clit. What should I do?"

"Try to keep your hand grounded on her pubic bone," Heather said, which didn't fully satisfy my concern — my finger would still slip even if my hand is grounded — but Heather pressed on to the next subject. "Let's move on to the ladies' ultimate pleasure," she said, "but while you're having the box lunch, don't forget the rest of her."

I didn't know why oral sex was the ultimate pleasure, when some women might prefer intercourse, but I kept quiet. Heather explained that while we went down on a woman, we should continue to touch her with our hands. She also said that at first we should tease the woman with our tongue. "Don't act like a heat-seeking missile, going directly for the clit," she warned.

"I can't help it," said Craig, good-naturedly.

Heather then told us about licking the labia up and down, and after we did that we should also suck each labia. "Inner labia can stretch and swell," she said. "They're kind of like the testicles. But just suck one labia at a time, otherwise she'll close up. As a girl gets more excited, she wants to open up."

"Why does sucking on two labia at once close her up?" I asked.

This, upon reflection, was an ignorant question — to suck on two labia at the same time is like drawing a curtain across a stage. Heather didn't use this metaphor, but with simple language she explained to me that getting two labia together at once would close off the opening to the vagina.