At this point, Blaire handed out halved peaches, and we all practiced licking them, which I took to much better than the balloon. For about a minute, Craig, Aresh, Heather and I all practiced licking the labia and licking the clit. "This is a good peach," I said, breaking the silence. Then I asked, "What about the girl, who after you've been down there a long time, can't seem to come. Any advice?"

"Oh, yeah," said Craig, knowing full well what I was talking about.

"In that case, you might want to lift the hood," said Heather, "but you really have to ask permission first so that she's ready."

After that, Heather wound things up with a brief mention about using dental dams, and that when playing with food, like syrup or fruit, that you should not get these items in the vagina because the sugar can cause yeast infections. She also mentioned that you can suck on an ice cube and blow on the clit, but "don't blow air into the vagina, you can blow bad things up there." Being on the safety-conscious side, I appreciated these bits of advice.

The class was over. We hadn't covered intercourse, but I had learned a great deal. Blaire collected our balloons and peaches, and we three men said goodbye to the ladies, and walked sheepishly down the hall, past lots of sexy dancers, to the elevator.

Alone in the elevator, I engaged in some locker-room banter so that we wouldn't feel like total losers — men who had to take a sex-class, and then slink past young girls in leotards.

"Heather kept talking about vaginas as if you can see them, but I always make love in the dark," I said.

I plunged my middle digit in about two inches, counting off the distance with my finger along the inside of the young lady's vagina the way you march out the steps between your car and a fire-hydrant.

"Me, too," said Aresh.

"So I don't think I'll ever find that hood, let alone figure out how to lift one." Aresh and Craig absorbed this bit of news soberly. I continued in a more upbeat tone, really playing the class clown. "I didn't say it when we were in there, when I asked about female ejaculation, but one time a girl did ejaculate on me and I nearly drowned, but I liked it."

Both men laughed. "So what did you guys think, overall, about the class?" I asked.

"Most of this comes naturally," said Aresh with wisdom, "but it's good to learn a few things."

"My girlfriend took the blowjob class that they offer women," Craig said, "so she wanted me to take this class."

"Only fair," I said. "And now you can go home and practice on each other."

Then we were out on the street. And what do you do after you take a sex class togther? Exchange numbers? Go for a drink? No. You shake hands goodbye and quickly disperse, staggering into the night as anonymously as possible.