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February 14, 2001
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 ow many vaginas are in the house?"When was the last time you heard someone shout that from the Madison Square Garden stage? No, not even a Spice Girls reunion concert or WNBA game could prompt such a question. And it wasn't so much a question as a call to arms when it came from the mouth of Eve Ensler, glossy Lulu-haired super-promoter and creator of The Vagina Monologues, at V-Day, a benefit staging of the play last Saturday. The concert was intended to raise money to fight violence against women, but it was also a celebration — not least, a celebration of the fact that seventy or so major stars were shouting giddily about their vaginas from the stage of one of the biggest venues in Manhattan. For Ensler — who initially couldn't even get the name of the show printed in the New York Times — it was a vindication. For me, it was a festival of celebrity-ogling. Oprah, Carol Kane, Isabella Rossellini and Rosie Perez:all of 'em deliciously decked out in fiery red satin, fuzzy pink sweaters, wine-colored velvet and fuschia feather boas. (The chorus was aptly named "The Vulva Choir.") Call me a starfucker if you want, but how often do you get pussy power at such incredibly high wattage? Although I had been told repeatedly on the phone there would be no celebrity access, I found myself on the press list at the post-performance celebration at the Hammerstein Ballroom. There I was, surrounded by ladies in red, and I didn't even have a tape recorder! While reporters from People and Marie Claire buzzed around them asking thoughtful questions about feminism and reclaiming women's bodies, I decided to go another route. I pondered my strategy as I fished for a small pink Hello Kitty notebook stashed in my purse. If I could ask all these powerful, sassy women just one question, here on V-Day, what would it be? "What is your favorite word for vagina and why?" I looked Swoosie Kurtz squarely in the eyes, hoping she wouldn't roll hers and have security remove me from the building. "Twat." "Twat?" I repeated, a little surprised I admit, but suddenly excited I had asked. "Twat. Because I can finally say it. I mean, in grade school, I thought that was one of the worst words you could ever say, and now I am not only saying twat, I am saying it on stage. A friend said to me, 'You know Swoosie, you've done The Vagina Monologues so many times, you should change your name to Twatsie." "And you liked that, didn't you?" I probed, suddenly feeling brave. "I did," she said with a giddy smile on her face. When I posed the question to Ann Magnuson, who currently appears in The Vagina Monologues off-Broadway, she said, "China. Because I couldn't pronounce the word vagina when my mother first said it to me, so I called it china. It seems appropriate since it's halfway around the world." Ex-Superman-squeeze Teri Hatcher told me, "I am teaching my three-year-old daughter the word vagina. We were at a restaurant one night, in the bathroom, in stalls right next to each other. She asked me, 'Mommy, why do you have a hairy vagina?' I called over the wall of the stall separating us, 'Because when women get older and mature, they get hair on their vaginas.' Well, actually it's the vulva and pubic mound, but close enough." She said it as if we were cramming for a test on Our Bodies, Ourselves, then continued, "I told her, 'You'll have hair there one day, too.' When we came out the of the stalls, a line of women had formed in the bathroom, and I just smiled at all of them . . . " Since her monologue that night was the infamous "Reclaiming Cunt," where she said the word so many times with such love and conviction, I took a deep breath before I approached Glenn Close. "I am asking everyone the same question tonight, but for you, considering your monologue, it may be redundant: What is your favorite word for vagina and why?" "I'd have to say cunt because I can say it. I'm not afraid of it anymore. I don't feel shame about it anymore. When Eve first asked me, I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I could say it. But now I feel totally comfortable saying it." Trust me folks, cunt rolls off her tongue as naturally as it does off mine. And so it went all night . . . Marisa Tomei: "Coochie, because it's cute."  I am sure it is, honey.Kathy Najimy: "Woodle. It just happened one night, and now that's my word." Lesbian comic Kate Clinton: "Puffy Gyn — it's so soft you just dive right in." Law and Order: Special Victims Unit star Mariska Hargitay (who wasn't actually in the performance, but I spotted her at the party, and was on a roll): "I've got so many, it depends on what mood I'm in." When I finally caught up with feminist legend Gloria Steinem, her answer was: "Vagina is still my favorite word for vagina. Do you know that 60 Minutes wouldn't cover this event because they didn't want to say 'vagina' on the air? Because it's still a word that is difficult to print, to publish, to get the media to even say out loud, it's still important that it remain my favorite." "Oh, that's easy. It's very politically incorrect," said Jane Fonda, as if she was going to say she liked an Eminem record, "but it's pussy." Jane Fonda said pussy to me! "Pussy — such a great word. Definitely my favorite," Jane repeated, then another reporter snagged her for a photo. I slept soundly that night, dreaming of Jane's scarlet power suit crumpled on my bedroom floor. |
© 2000 Tristan Taormino and Nerve.com, Inc.
Commentarium (6 Comments)
Of all the articles I've read, this has been the most impressive. Congratulations to Tristan for getting several famous women to talk openly about something that the establishment would prefer was never spoken about. The sooner we hear cunt on mainstream TV, the sooner this country will finally grow up and begin the real process of sexual liberation.
This fall I saw the Vagina Monologues with a room full of white, suburban, heavily made-up upper middle class women (and 3 guys - who were there as guys anyway). These women are not my usual crowd. But by the "surprise triple orgasm moan" there was this great connection and energy floating around in the room, and somehow we were all friends for that space of time. What a great, revolutionary show! Glad to see reporting on it, and to hear of "famous" women who can name their vagina's in public.
Jocelyn
Happy V-day my little flower. Read the article. I think you will like it. What do you call your vagina?
Master
Just to clear up a few matters, for whatever it's worth to anybody...
"Cunt" surely comes from Latin "cunnus," which is related to "cuneiform," meaning triangular in shape -- an inverted triangle is traditionally used to symbolize the female genital area.
"Pussy" has nothing to do with kitty cats, but is related to the German "puntze" (not sure of the spelling, maybe "punze").
(By the way, the term "chick" has nothing to do with hens, but comes from the Spanish "chica." It's not intended to be a derogatory epithet.)
Of all the great aspects of this show which could have been covered, I am disappointed to report that I find this one to be pretty weak. I would have hoped for something more leading-edge or provocative. When you've got a room full of fabulous women coming together to support a really terriffic cause, it's really a shame that the angle taken was just about dirty words. This was an excellent, powerful event. There was a real opportunity for forward thinking substance here and it's too bad that a chance to seriously discuss even something simple like American women's fear of the word Vagina (not to mention the vagina itself!!) was passed up. I'm sure Nerve could have done a fabulous job with a more substantial take on the subject and am sorry you didn't try.
Halloj Petra, hittade detta om Vagina monologes! Enjoy! massa pussar och kramar
Din van Amelie
Now you say something